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		<title>New Years Flu&#8230; Did You Get It Too???</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2012/01/11/new-years-flu-did-you-get-it-too/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2012/01/11/new-years-flu-did-you-get-it-too/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jan 2012 03:00:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wine]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Well… here you are… the second week of the New Year that I sprinkled in Fairy dust for you and now look at you…  All coughing and hacking up a storm… missed 3 days of work so far to boot…. All because you have the New Years Flu…  Couldn’t keep your mouth to yourself that [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=831&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_832" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 149px"><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sick-girl-1a.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-832 " title="sick girl 1a" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sick-girl-1a.jpg?w=139&#038;h=180" alt="You so sick girl..." width="139" height="180" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">You so sick girl...</p></div>
<p>Well… here you are… the second week of the New Year that I sprinkled in Fairy dust for you and now look at you…  All coughing and hacking up a storm… missed 3 days of work so far to boot…. All because you have the New Years Flu…  Couldn’t keep your mouth to yourself that night now could you???</p>
<p>Had to go out and get all snazzied up in your finest of duds and baby, I really do mean “duds”… in case you are not sure what I am talking about, then perhaps you need to check out the latest <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wally+world">Wally World</a> email floating around in your inbox at work…. To see what I mean by duds… oh, wait that would require you to be at work, nope not you…and why aren’t you at work… cuz you are sick… you got it bad… you ache and feel like crap…</p>
<p>Well your dumb wide ass deserves it, yes it does, if you have not drank so many wine coolers that night, yanking your shirt up to show us your setters instead of <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pointers">pointers</a>, all proud of those low riders…girl, where the hell was your bra that night by the way.???    Seems you were the one who wanted to climb on top of the table and dance the New Years in… and dance you did, till the leg cracked and we caught you on the way down… which reminds me, you owe someone a thank you for being there to break your fall…ouch!!!</p>
<p>If you hadn’t from 11:30 – midnight proceeded to work the room, bouncing up and down, swinging too and fro… going from one person to the other… giving them the option of being flashed or kissed… who would have thought a girl could get so many kisses in one night… not that you should take that as a compliment…. Well there you have it, now you are sick with the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=New%20Year%20Flu&amp;defid=2772965">New Years Eve flu</a>… from all the closeness with 28 of your newest best friends… who passed along some New Years Eve cheer to you as well… now you are in the hole from missing work and your dignity gone till the Valentine party you throw all the single people including yourself…</p>
<p>Well Sarah’s suggestion for that event is to not invite her and to try the <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brown+bottle+flu">Brown Bottle Flu</a> instead… nice way to start the New Year off….</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Ciao,</p>
<p>A catty Sarah B just because she can…</p>
<div id="attachment_833" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 125px"><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/smoke-break1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-833" title="smoke-break" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/smoke-break1.jpg?w=538" alt="Sarahs Back..."   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Sarahs Back...</p></div>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/wine/'>wine</a>  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/831/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=831&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>SarahsViews Welcomes 2012&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2012/01/05/sarahsviews-welcomes-2012/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2012/01/05/sarahsviews-welcomes-2012/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Jan 2012 05:54:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=820</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hello World&#8230;  SarahsViews here&#8230; been a while since I have written much&#8230;  seems 2011 got the best of me as well as the rest of the world with all the downers and depressions going on&#8230;  Lots of misfortunes and sad news came out of 2011&#8230;  So I have sent this SarahsView Fairy to you to [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=820&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_822" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 149px"><del><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/fairy-dust-1a1.jpg"><img class=" wp-image-822 " title="Your 2012 Fairy..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/fairy-dust-1a1.jpg?w=139&#038;h=180" alt="" width="139" height="180" /></a></del><p class="wp-caption-text">Bringing good Fairy dust to The New Year...</p></div>
<p>Hello World&#8230;  SarahsViews here&#8230; been a while since I have written much&#8230;  seems 2011 got the best of me as well as the rest of the world with all the downers and depressions going on&#8230;  Lots of misfortunes and sad news came out of 2011&#8230;  So I have sent this SarahsView Fairy to you to brush away the negative tone of 2011 and dust you all with &#8220;positive&#8221; fairy dust and good thoughts going forward into 2012&#8230;</p>
<p>We can dust away the bad economy, because it is an election year an miraculously things always improve in January of an election year, so come on all that negative political TV ads to come in March&#8230; until then enjoy what is being said to be a turn around economy, after all we all spent our earnings in November and December to give a boost the the consumer index&#8230; Sarah isn&#8217;t always clueless&#8230; she helped as well in that area&#8230;</p>
<p>In 2012, we will find many positive changes ahead, it is all in how you look at it, we are seeing less volatility in the real estate sector, seems you can buy a house these days for 49 cents on the dollar, so count your lucky stars if you are a seller and didn&#8217;t have to drop to 38 cents on the dollar, those banks will give you houses in 2012 at this rate&#8230;</p>
<p>We seen a report that employers are wanting to hire in 2012&#8230;   Yes sir they are, why wouldn&#8217;t they hire you&#8230; you have been out of work so long, they can get you for minimum wage&#8230;  who cares if you were making $125K 3 years ago&#8230; 3 years ago, you could have sold your house of 300% over the actual value, if you didn&#8217;t sell and bank the money then shame on you and take the job and thank the Fairy, as eventually they will pay you a going wage and it beats the alternative&#8230;. so yes they will be hiring&#8230;</p>
<p>We will see Stocks continue to rise, why not&#8230;they are pennies on the dollar as well, so buy em if you can&#8230; see good things will happen in 2012, better yet, maybe everything will be 1% interest&#8230; nah, this Fairy ain&#8217;t that good&#8230;</p>
<p>So count your lucky stars you made it through 2011 and are looking down at the daisies and not up at them&#8230; 2012 is really a year of positive change and for that to happen it is a matter of how you approach the new year&#8230;</p>
<p>So shut up, buck up, step up and keep your chin up and take on 2012 with vigor and a positive approach and you will be fine&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao&#8230; Sarah</p>
<div id="attachment_825" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 125px"><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/smoke-break.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-825" title="Sarah baby..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/smoke-break.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Sprinkling Fairy Dust Whenever I Can...</p></div>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/820/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=820&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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			<media:title type="html">Your 2012 Fairy...</media:title>
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		<title>Are You Ready&#8230;It’s Almost Here…Tick Tock&#8230;Tick Tock&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/12/11/tick-tock-tick-tock-baby-can-you-hear-it/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/12/11/tick-tock-tick-tock-baby-can-you-hear-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Dec 2011 06:00:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grinch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[halloween]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thanks giving]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Tick Tock&#8230; Tick Tock&#8230; Can you feel it???  Can you hear it???   Did you survive the violence of Black Friday???  No cap in your ass, no one stepped over you to get the best bargain as you gasped your last breath at Target???  Were you mugged leaving WalMart at 1 am with your X-box???&#8230;.If [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=470&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/christmas-2011-1a1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-817" title="Merry Ho Ho Ho" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/christmas-2011-1a1.jpg?w=231&#038;h=300" alt="" width="231" height="300" /></a>Tick Tock&#8230; Tick Tock&#8230; Can you feel it???  Can you hear it???   Did you survive the violence of Black Friday???  No cap in your ass, no one stepped over you to get the best bargain as you gasped your last breath at Target???  Were you mugged leaving WalMart at 1 am with your X-box???&#8230;.If you are reading then then you must be ready to run the other way as fast as you can???  Back to June, May or March???  Anything but the fucking looming &#8221;Holiday Season&#8221; that over the past few decades have started the &#8220;shoving down your throat or up your ass&#8221;  a day earlier every year&#8230;  This year it started on November 1st&#8230; .but the stores were beaming with pride mid October with Holiday decorations&#8230; Christmas candy out at the same time as Halloween&#8230;.</p>
<p>In fact, I am not even sure they waited till midnight on Halloween to start the ads on TV&#8230; the relentless, shameless ads promoting that the only way to have a great Holiday or to be a great Parent, Spouse etc&#8230; was to &#8220;spend&#8230;spend and oh yeah baby&#8230; spend&#8221;!!!   Hell honey, someone&#8217;s gotta do it for this upcoming <a href="http://www.calendardate.com/year2008_holidays.php" target="_blank"><strong>Holiday Season</strong></a> and do their freaking part to save the economy&#8230;.LOL!!! … Bullshit!!!  Media hype and propaganda telling us&#8230; programming us to do what they want us to do&#8230; not what we should really do&#8230;  Last time I checked&#8230; Holidays had nothing to do with spending or shopping&#8230;</p>
<p>How many days left?  I can’t remember if we even had <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanksgiving" target="_blank"><strong>Thanks Giving</strong></a> yet or not???  Oh yes we did, while eating a rushed dinner, you scurried out the door leaving your Turkey carcass&#8217;s and left over pumpkin pie on the table so you could grab your ads and rush to stand in line for the midnight madness&#8230;.. Well it seems the stores can’t remember that either&#8230;  so don&#8217;t feel bad and don&#8217;t feel bad about stepping over the man at Target either&#8230;</p>
<p>However&#8230;as you shop in the grocery store for your goodies&#8230; you can sing to &#8221;Deck the Halls&#8221;  Guess we shall just start by-passing the  Ole Turkey day Holiday and move straight into “Retail Hell”…  Oops, I meant to say Christmas&#8230;  Let&#8217;s talk Sweetie&#8230;.You do remember <a href="http://www.helium.com/knowledge/121320-satire-christmas" target="_blank"><strong>Christmas</strong></a> don’t you&#8230;  I mean how can you ever forget???  It is shoved pretty much down our throats and up our asses from October 1st to December 25th… now some stores are even open on Christmas so you can truly feel that you that you will want to shoot yourself for standing in line for 7 hours in the freezing cold to get that what was supposed to be, the rock bottom price, on that item that you have heard non fucking stop about for months and months and that if you didn’t get it for them FOR Christmas morning or the world would come to an end and your guilt would eat you alive…  Dirty Bastards&#8230; and your sorry ass fell for it&#8230; &#8220;Sucker&#8221;&#8230;</p>
<p>Well, now, if you can wait till December 25th , you can find that item on sale for 25% less or possibly more had you just waited one more day baby&#8230;  Shit&#8230;that sounds like a great idea&#8230; Let&#8217;s have Christmas on December 27th&#8230;the day after you return everything you didn&#8217;t want and the other shit that didn&#8217;t sell that is now 75% off&#8230; they didn&#8217;t like what you gave them???  Too bad&#8230; you gotta great deal and they look stunning in Orange with Yellow stripes&#8230; oops&#8230; I have digressed&#8230; Now, back to today’s struggling wonderful economy and what I was talking about&#8230; that extra 25% savings  ( or 75% if we veto Christmas till the 27th, that would have paid for the dinner you are fixing for your family to arrive that will only stay long enough to give you the quick hug, kiss, your house looks great, not that they really give a shit&#8230; they are only interested in the tree and what is under it with their name on it&#8230;  Hello&#8230;  Look at all those presents under the tree, they want to know which ones are theirs???   Sure, let’s open now and &#8220;then&#8221; eat, because we know they all have other places to go to and other gifts to collect.. ungrateful bastards&#8230; however it is your own fault&#8230; you created the little and not so little monsters&#8230; now you must live or deal with them&#8230;  Ahh&#8230; finally they are gone, the house is totally destroyed, the food devoured and not a morsel for a mouse&#8230; the plates left in the sink, of course&#8230; the fireplace overflowing with boxes and paper to be burned and the cat is now hiding behind the once beautifully decorated tree,  due to the small children trying to stick a bow on top of his head… vile little creatures that they are&#8230; the children, not that cat!!!  The cat, now in retaliation for this event,  shall first cough up a large wet hairball on our pillow  of course then lift his tail and spray all over your tree and of course the string of lights within it&#8217;s reach…   Ahhh…the holidays… how soon they approach&#8230; Are you ready???   Tick Tock&#8230; Tick Tock&#8230; sounds kind of like an Alfred Hitchcock event coming up&#8230; maybe it is&#8230;</p>
<p>May you have your Valium, wine, JD or Vice of choice baby, close by to survive the next 12 miserable  guilt and pressure filled days to please everyone who will not remember the day after…</p>
<p>Ciao baby… Remember it isn’t about You… But what &#8220;everyone&#8221; expects from You!!!</p>
<p>Sarah B the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPBS7dVrE1U" target="_blank"><strong>Grinch</strong></a></p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/smoke-break4.jpg"><img title="Sarah B The Grinch" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/smoke-break4.jpg?w=115&#038;h=150" alt="" width="115" height="150" /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/wine/'>wine</a> Tagged: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/christmas/'>christmas</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/grinch/'>Grinch</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/halloween/'>halloween</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/holidays/'>holidays</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/thanks-giving/'>thanks giving</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/470/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=470&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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			<media:title type="html">Merry Ho Ho Ho</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">Sarah B The Grinch</media:title>
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		<title>Drunk Monkeys and Fruit Flies&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/07/16/drunk-monkeys-and-fruit-flies/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/07/16/drunk-monkeys-and-fruit-flies/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jul 2011 04:45:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ass crack]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[box]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drunk monkeys]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[frut flies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[robin seymour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=752</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh yeah Baby&#8230; that caught your attention didn&#8217;t it&#8230; I mean really&#8230; What on earth do &#8220;Drunk Monkeys and Fruit Flies&#8221; have in common?  I know you are wondering, questioning, thinking&#8230; pondering&#8230; fondling&#8230; wait that is another blog to be written about later&#8230; Oh sugar, let me tell you&#8230; they got a whole lot more [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=752&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/gregory_hergert_5.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-767" title="Buzzzzz" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/gregory_hergert_5.jpg?w=112&#038;h=150" alt="" width="112" height="150" /></a>Oh yeah Baby&#8230; that caught your attention didn&#8217;t it&#8230; I mean really&#8230; What on earth do &#8220;Drunk Monkeys and Fruit Flies&#8221; have in common?  I know you are wondering, questioning, thinking&#8230; pondering&#8230; fondling&#8230; wait that is another blog to be written about later&#8230; Oh sugar, let me tell you&#8230; they got a whole lot more in common than we could ever imagine&#8230;</p>
<p>Sweetie pie&#8230; sugar muffin&#8230;  lover lips&#8230;  gooey bear&#8230; or as a friend of my is known to say&#8230; gooey duck&#8230; Well now, have you gagged yet&#8230; I have just typing that shit and it made me wanna hurl&#8230;  that is what Sarah likes to call the cooing of a &#8220;Drunk Monkey&#8221;&#8230; I mean really, who the fuck talks that way&#8230; let alone when trying to pick up on someone&#8230; sitting down starting to have a decent conversation, add a few adult beverages to the table, of course ordered by the monkey itself, well on the way to being a drunk monkey&#8230;  It starts off well enough, he is decent looking,  dressed OK, has most of his hair, no ring on his finger&#8230;  you zero in on him&#8230; thinking, damn girlfriend, this could be your lucky night to score a good one&#8230;</p>
<p>The monkey makes his way up to you&#8230; you tuck your muffin top down as far as you can beneath the table top&#8230; you tug a the 2 sizes v neck shirt you have on to pull the &#8220;V&#8221; down to show off the girls&#8230; ahhh&#8230; those girls, what they wouldn&#8217;t give for a little action this evening&#8230; the monkey spots those girls&#8230; the big long wide ass cleavage bigger than an ass crack&#8230; how can he resist&#8230; he can&#8217;t, he staggers over to your table&#8230; Belt buckle all big and shiny&#8230; his pants so snug you can see the outline of the money clip in his pocket&#8230; however you are thinking to yourself&#8230;  I hope that is a money clip and not something else&#8230; you can&#8217;t take your eyes of it as he slowly, ever so slowly due to the few &#8220;cocktails&#8221; he has already had before spotting your ass crack above below your chin&#8230; wait, I am sorry, that is your cleavage and those are your girls&#8230; fuck, I will get it right&#8230; hard to tell the difference!</p>
<p>Now, you and he are engrossed in an in-depth conversation about the increase in the park rent where his single wide currently sits and him sharing his dream with you of moving it to some land and having some &#8230;. uh, what are those things called&#8230; oh yeah, some pigs and chickens&#8230; OMG&#8230; you are thinking, this could be the one, the night you meet the perfect one for you&#8230; you have always wanted some of those wild things in your yard for your kids to chase&#8230; OMG&#8230; better suck that muffin top in some more and now you are just resting the girls on the table, the ass crack is there for him and the rest of the bar to see&#8230;. after round 5&#8230; the monkey now on his way to being a total drunk ass monkey makes his move and reaches over and swallows your face&#8230; you are in heaven&#8230;  you let him know you want to see that single wide&#8230;  he is happy to obliged&#8230;</p>
<p>You both get up and you realize it may be best if you drive&#8230; he is a bit wobbly&#8230; to your Plymouth Duster you go&#8230; the nice orange one with bad breaks&#8230; the two of you&#8230; climb inside, he begins to wash your whole face with a big ass wet nasty kiss&#8230; you get that special tingle&#8230; in your little boxaroo&#8230; tonight is gonna be your night babycakes&#8230; he is telling you&#8230; sugar muffin, I am going to bury myself in those girls&#8230; you are so excited you can&#8217;t put the car in gear fast enough&#8230;</p>
<p>You drive to his place, getting lost 2 times because his shots of shitty ass black velvet are kicking in high gear, finally, you reach is tin tee pee, you are so excited&#8230; he opens the door and falls out of the car&#8230;you race to his side to pick him up, he falls face first in your ass crack&#8230; I mean the girls&#8230; shit, I can&#8217;t tell the difference&#8230; this makes you tingle some more&#8230; in the trailer you go&#8230; you let him lead you to his crushed velvet headboard and bed&#8230; you are so excited, you both undress&#8230; you toss yourself on the bed and he falls forward onto you&#8230; telling you he is gonna give you the &#8230; the&#8230; he is silent&#8230; you ask him&#8230;. what lover boy, what are you gonna give me&#8230; lover boy&#8230;what???  All you hear is snoring&#8230; No&#8230; No&#8230; this can&#8217;t be&#8230; this was the night, the night you were gonna give it up&#8230;the night you were gonna get rid of the fruit flies from that dried up thing&#8230; you been saving for the one&#8230;  Instead&#8230;  you are left with a Drunk Monkey and you still got your fruit flies&#8230;</p>
<p>Yowza baby girl&#8230; Sarah Says to fork up some cash and paid to get that thing serviced&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao&#8230; Sarah B&#8230; who ain&#8217;t got no fruit flies buzzing around her&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/smoke-break.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-768" title="No fucker flies here baby..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/smoke-break.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a> Tagged: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/ass-crack/'>ass crack</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/box/'>box</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/drunk-monkeys/'>drunk monkeys</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/frut-flies/'>frut flies</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/robin-seymour/'>robin seymour</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/sex/'>sex</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/752/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=752&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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			<media:title type="html">Buzzzzz</media:title>
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			<media:title type="html">No fucker flies here baby...</media:title>
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		<title>What are you putting out there&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/03/12/what-are-you-putting-out-there/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2011/03/12/what-are-you-putting-out-there/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Mar 2011 01:07:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=734</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What are you putting out there baby???  I hear your lips a flapping and see your jaws and jabbing but I don&#8217;t understand what you are saying&#8230;  Nothing coming out of your mouth is making any sense, now is it???  I hear the words you tell me, you are saying you are going to do [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=734&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_735" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 128px"><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/mermaid2.jpg"><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-735" title="SarahsViews" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/mermaid2.jpg?w=118&#038;h=150" alt="Artist Gregory Hergert" width="118" height="150" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">I got mine... do you have yours...</p></div>
<p>What are you putting out there baby???  I hear your lips a flapping and see your jaws and jabbing but I don&#8217;t understand what you are saying&#8230;  Nothing coming out of your mouth is making any sense, now is it???  I hear the words you tell me, you are saying you are going to do something&#8230; you say you want to change&#8230; yet I never see you the results&#8230;</p>
<p>What complaint shall we have today???  Shall you tell me the same thing you told me yesterday&#8230; last week&#8230; last month???  What has changed today to make any of us believe you shall do anything different&#8230;  Did you wake up and realize that you are your own <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE" target="_blank">worst enemy???</a> Not that you and the rest of us do not already know this&#8230; as in life, we create our own beds that we lie in&#8230; we can either lie in a bed with a dog and it&#8217;s flees&#8230; which is fine if you need to get some scratching done&#8230; or you can lie in warm cozy clean bed&#8230; and not worry about getting scratched and instead be the one doing the scratching&#8230;  So sweetie, what is different today&#8230;  I hear what you are saying&#8230; but do you hear yourself???  Do you&#8230; do you really listen to what you are preaching???  Are you following your own golden rule you are pushing&#8230; I don&#8217;t think so&#8230; baby&#8230;</p>
<p>Me thinks you are just gonna keep on whining&#8230; gonna keep on  talking&#8230; gonna be in the spot talking the same shit&#8230; whining the same drama the very next time I see you &#8230; and the time after that and the time after that&#8230;  why???  Cuz it takes <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courage" target="_blank">courage</a> to quit the talking and it takes courage to walk the walk&#8230;  and not just talk the talk&#8230;</p>
<p>Where is your courage going to come from&#8230; Will it take being pushed, dumped, dumb ass broke on or left alone for you to finally get the courage&#8230;  because to walk the walk&#8230; you gotta get the balls to do it &#8230;. without those balls baby, you ain&#8217;t going no where&#8230;  So, baby&#8230; figure out how to man up and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YUuyzQDmjY" target="_blank">grow a set</a> and start walking the walk&#8230;  and catch up with the rest of us&#8230;  It is a lot more fun up here&#8230; we&#8217;d enjoy your company&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao Baby&#8230;</p>
<p>Sarah B&#8230; and she&#8217;s got a mighty big set&#8230;</p>
<div id="attachment_736" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 125px"><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/smoke-break.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-736" title="Sarah B..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/smoke-break.jpg?w=538" alt="Artist Gregory Hergert"   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Man up baby...</p></div>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a>  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/734/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=734&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Are we living in a voice challenged world&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/30/are-you-living-in-a-voice-challenged-world/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/30/are-you-living-in-a-voice-challenged-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Oct 2010 03:53:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cell phone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[text]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[voice mail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WTF]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=722</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Interesting title isn&#8217;t it&#8230; I mean, I am sure you are trying to decipher what I meant when I wrote that&#8230; seriously, do you have any idea what I am talking about&#8230; any clue&#8230; any concept&#8230; here let me help you out and give you a hint&#8230; but first in order for me to do [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=722&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/frank.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-723" title="Frankendroid..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/frank.jpg?w=119&#038;h=150" alt="" width="119" height="150" /></a>Interesting title isn&#8217;t it&#8230; I mean, I am sure you are trying to decipher what I meant when I wrote that&#8230; seriously, do you have any idea what I am talking about&#8230; any clue&#8230; any concept&#8230; here let me help you out and give you a hint&#8230; but first in order for me to do that, I need your cell number&#8230; Why, you ask so perplexed and dumbfounded&#8230; so I can text you of course, I mean really what other way would I communicate with you other than in text???</p>
<p>I remember a few years back standing in the grocery or bank line or any line for that matter, where I was subjected to not only having the line move slow, but to also be forced to endure the endless and mundane cell phone conversation where I was only hearing one side of it&#8230; how fucking annoying that was&#8230; I mean, really it was as though this person felt so damn important that they had to share the conversation they were having with all of us that stood within 15 feet of them&#8230; they spewed on and on about what time they were heading out for the night, what they were buying and made arrangements to meet whomever was on the other end of the phone&#8230; while I found this to be so annoying, I also found it to be quite entertaining&#8230; so entertaining that I would listen intently to their conversation all while being an overly arrogant person myself, looking them up and down and judging them by either their over paid clothes and tanned faces, while whipping out their orchards credit card to pay for groceries&#8230; knowing that to have an orchard card meant they had marginal credit and were living beyond their means and thus the need to over indulge their clothing, tanning and worst of all&#8230;the overly informative cell phone conversation in ear range of all they could reach without being obnoxious&#8230;</p>
<p>Ahh&#8230; I had fun with this group&#8230;. I will say that in my life time of owning a cell phone, I have always maintained a rule to not talk on the phone in public unless an emergency or waiting for a call back about what to fucking fix for dinner that night&#8230; but my favorite is the older person using the cell phone while shopping pushing their cart into everyone because they are driving one-handed and can&#8217;t drive the cart straight&#8230; ahh&#8230; they were so fun to avoid&#8230;  however, things have changed&#8230; I no longer am able to find amusement in check out line of any given store&#8230; I no longer am given the selfish pleasure of judging those in front of me and imagining what the other person on the other end of the call looks like or is saying&#8230;  at least not in regards to their phone conversation, I still will find a way to make fun of them&#8230;. things have changed and I have changed&#8230; I still maintain my no talking on the cell phone in public unless an emergency and am eternally grateful for caller ID&#8230;so I can screen those calls whom feel they are important and I can instead return their calls&#8230;with what&#8230;you ask&#8230;</p>
<p>Oh please, you all know, cuz you all do it now&#8230; I will return calls without even listening to voice messages&#8230; that is another topic all together and a different blog, that one I will to this group that explains that no one listens to voice messages anymore because we all have caller ID and we know who we want to and not want to talk to at any given time&#8230; so that brings me back full circle to what do we do with those voice messages and missed calls&#8230;</p>
<p>We fucking text them back&#8230;  In a text we can say whatever we want, there is no indication if we are lying, annoyed or just simply busy&#8230; a text message is short and to the point&#8230; it is an easy way out&#8230; as well as a great way to communicate with multiple people at one time&#8230; it is the way things have gone&#8230; I am as guilty of this as anyone&#8230; in fact I am the mother fucking texting queen&#8230; I would rather text you than get on the phone with you and take what can or should be a 2 minute conversation and have it turn into a 25 minute conversation about something I didn&#8217;t need to talk to you about or need to you or want to or give a shit about&#8230;   However, the downside to this is 2 fold&#8230; we lose our personal contact and touch in texting and sometimes our delivery can be somewhat dry when not meant to be&#8230; however, the true downside of texting in line is that I have lost a source of entertainment&#8230; it really isn&#8217;t fun watching you text in front of me&#8230; and I am equally guilty of using the time in line to text someone to entertain myself while the slowest checker in the world is checking my out&#8230; but part of the delay and I am guilty of this is that the person texting will actually hold up the line because they need to finish their text and that takes two hands&#8230; when we used our cell phones to talk, we at least had 1 hand free and could make eye contact with the person checking us out&#8230; now when we stand in any line, our heads are all down, our thumbs moving like mad and we are content moving slower so we can finish our text conversation&#8230; and no one is talking anymore&#8230; ahh&#8230;the peace a quite at the stores&#8230;</p>
<p>So, are you, we and myself living in a voice challenged world&#8230; absolutely&#8230; and I love it and wouldn&#8217;t change it for anything&#8230; I want you to text me and I will text you and please don&#8217;t call me and I won&#8217;t call you&#8230; I won&#8217;t leave you a voice mail, instead if I have to call you and you do not answer, I will text you and say what I need and that will take care of that&#8230; text me baby&#8230; text me all you want&#8230; if I don&#8217;t like what you have to say, all I have to do is delete your text and then delete you&#8230;  So&#8230; text text baby&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao&#8230; Sarah Texting Baby&#8230;</p>
<p>Sarah B&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/49922_100000293500537_8321207_n.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-724" title="Texting -Sexting Sarah B..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/49922_100000293500537_8321207_n.jpg?w=115&#038;h=150" alt="" width="115" height="150" /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a> Tagged: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/cell-phone/'>Cell phone</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/text/'>text</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/voice-mail/'>voice mail</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/wtf/'>WTF</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/722/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=722&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>How Old Are You&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/25/age-is-just-a-number-right/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/25/age-is-just-a-number-right/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2010 21:43:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[20]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[30]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[40 year old]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[age]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind fuck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[omg]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=404</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[They say age is simply just a number&#8230;well I think those dirty bastards are lying and it is really the best way to mind fuck yourself into doing or not doing something stupid in your life&#8230; Let&#8217;s talk about your 20&#8242;s&#8230;  You think you are on top of the world&#8230; your ass is as perky as your tits [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=404&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/red-car-1a.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-777" title="How ya doing baby..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/red-car-1a.jpg?w=113&#038;h=150" alt="" width="113" height="150" /></a>They say age is simply just a number&#8230;well I think those dirty bastards are lying and it is really the best way to mind fuck yourself into doing or not doing something stupid in your life&#8230;</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s talk about your 20&#8242;s&#8230;  You think you are on top of the world&#8230; your ass is as perky as your tits and your dick, while as hard a rock&#8230; is quick to react and or should I say&#8230; over react&#8230; and really seems to think that being  &#8220;six-shooter&#8221; is something to be proud of&#8230;  NOT!!! The problem is that in your 20&#8242;s you think you are invincible, hot and can do anything you fucking want to&#8230;  Well&#8230; you are hot!!!  But&#8230; you are not invincible and doing anything you fucking want to do will bite you in the ass a few decades later&#8230;  While you are &#8220;perky&#8221;&#8230; you are also as dumb as a sack of rocks and believe anything that flies out the mouth of  &#8220;Mr. quick fire&#8221;&#8230;  neither of you have a fucking clue and the sad part is you aren&#8217;t going to know that for quite some time to come&#8230; and all your actions, desires and impulses are only going to haunt you for decades&#8230; My advice is to keep your box on lock down&#8230; your six-shooter&#8230; well covered to protect against &#8220;future&#8221; unplanned college educations you will both now have to figure out how to finance&#8230;  I can say all of this&#8230; cuz I was 20 something once&#8230;</p>
<p>Ahh&#8230; the undesired number 30&#8230;is next&#8230; <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=omg" target="_blank">OMG!!! </a> You are now &#8220;30&#8243;&#8230;where did your youth go???  Inside as I type this&#8230; I am laughing my ass off because you are an idiot!!!  Your youth is still there and your 30&#8242;s&#8230;well, lets say these will be some of the worst years of your life&#8230; They will suck!!!  Suck like a &#8220;Hoover&#8221; baby&#8230; speaking of Babies&#8230; let&#8217;s talk about them&#8230; Did you cover that thing or lock it down???  Nope???  Great&#8230; Now you are saddled to someone who used to have perky tits and a tight ass&#8230; and used to have a full head of hair on his head that seems to be moving down his back&#8230; while you two shuffle your life around now, not 1 but 2 children because after all&#8230; you were in your 20&#8242;s and full of  &#8221;Gum Drops and Rainbows&#8221;  and look where the pot of gold has gotten you now&#8230;  You &#8221;just&#8221; had to have each other&#8230; now you &#8220;hate&#8221; each other&#8230; neither of you can get a decent job cuz&#8230; you didn&#8217;t finish your degree cuz you became baby makers&#8230; or as I call them&#8230; breeders&#8230;  In an attempt to save your marriage you decide to pop out  a 3rd child&#8230;  What a bright move that is&#8230;  Now you have attached yourself to this person you really want to escape for an additional 18 plus years, you idiots&#8230;  Good luck&#8230;  it only gets worse&#8230; It isn&#8217;t until you finally part company&#8230; screw anything that walks for a months  ( years for those who are really slow to figure it out ) while trying to regain the youth of your 20&#8242;s back&#8230; your perky breast are now sitting a bit lower and your ass resembles last weeks cottage cheese&#8230;  However&#8230; you have spent so much time being a partner and parent&#8230; that at least you still have your wardrobe from your 20&#8242;s and your hair style&#8230; or at least she does&#8230; He is starting to expose a bit more forehead&#8230; and or has shaved his head&#8230; his ass has now sunk in and he his starting to get man boobs that are perkier than hers&#8230; (ooh!!)   Now as you near the end of your 30&#8242;s&#8230; you are about to enter a new phase of mind fuck&#8230;  I know this cuz&#8230;I was 30 something once&#8230;</p>
<p>Your 40&#8242;s&#8230;  Let&#8217;s talk about this interesting phase of your life&#8230;  You now want to be 20 again ( You Idiot!!!)&#8230; They do say today that your 40&#8242;s are the new 20&#8242;s&#8230; so you now have justification to act 20&#8230;right???  Does that also mean the true 20 year olds are really not there to compete with you as you try to buy their clothes and cars???  Or keep up with them at the gym, the language, the hair styles, or and or and or&#8230; I will say this&#8230;  Your 40&#8242;s are the best decade of your life as of yet&#8230;  You have the confidence to finally be who you really are&#8230; should have been or wanted to be and you don&#8217;t give a rats ass about what anyone else thinks.  You are the new 20&#8242;s and if you were smart&#8230;  you either divorced well or learned how to make a good living so you can remove those signs of aging&#8230;  You have figured out that you don&#8217;t need anyone or anything for during your 40&#8242;s as you are quite capable of entertaining yourself or finding anyone of any age to entertain youand as for you men&#8230; you now can buy that special car, get a great fake tan, go to the gym and nail that 20 something-year-old for the night.. but good luck&#8230; because remember the sand trap you got yourself into at 20 and how it happened???  You were screwing a 20-year-old then and you just finished paying your kids college education&#8230; hopefully you snipped it and won&#8217;t repeat THAT mistake again&#8230; what we come to realize in both men and women at this age is that sex with younger folks or just anyone&#8230; isn&#8217;t anything compared to someone of the same confidence and mental caliber that comes with someone mentally in age and drive to them&#8230; that shit goes a lot further in the bedroom and in a life partner than  those perky tits and a 6 shooter&#8230; that is what you learn in your 40&#8242;s&#8230;  And again&#8230; I am 40 something&#8230;so I can say this&#8230; and not give a shit if you care about what I write about or not&#8230;</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know about the 50&#8242;s yet&#8230; but I am sure they are marketing those blue pills for just that reason and I will be the first to stand in line for them&#8230; for 60&#8242;s and beyond&#8230; we will just have to wait and see&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao Bell&#8230; 40 Something Sarah B&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/smoke-break1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-778" title="You are only as old as you feel baby..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/smoke-break1.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a> Tagged: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/20/'>20</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/30/'>30</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/40-year-old/'>40 year old</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/age/'>age</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/mind-fuck/'>mind fuck</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/omg/'>omg</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/404/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=404&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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			<media:title type="html">You are only as old as you feel baby...</media:title>
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		<title>Caution&#8230;  Look Up!!!  Scape-Goat Above&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/03/caution-look-up-scape-goat-above/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/03/caution-look-up-scape-goat-above/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Oct 2010 01:25:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[church]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[follower]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loser]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scapegoat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wt]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://sarahsviews.wordpress.com/?p=62</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So, the other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store and this person in front of me was just going on and on to someone she had drug to the store with her.  This shall we say, Princess?  Was going on and on to her friend about how she made sure to [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=62&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/smoke-break3.jpg"></a><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-428" title="Please follow the Piper" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/coolcatpiano.jpg?w=119&#038;h=150" alt="Please follow the Piper" width="119" height="150" />So, the other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store and this person in front of me was just going on and on to someone she had drug to the store with her.  This shall we say, Princess?  Was going on and on to her friend about how she made sure to get back at her loser boyfriend&#8230;. by fucking around with her neighbor&#8230; I don&#8217;t mean F&#8217;ng around in such a way that she was messing with his head..well, I guess I do mean that in a way..  ooh!!  Well, anyway,  because this little wide load of a princess spoke so loud and apparently had a 4 pack a day of smoke habit based on her vocal cords&#8230; went on quite loudly and with her raspy voice about how her boyfriend deserved this.. and all the whys and ways!</p>
<p>While I can&#8217;t pass judgement on her reasons, cuz the guy did sound like a loser ( that she picked! )&#8230; but I wondered to myself  if she had looked a mirror at any point in time over the past few years.   Because the last time I checked, 1995, was gone and we are in a new decade of clothing, hair, make up and crude public display and talk were about as in style as 1981!  However, since the cahier was challenged this particular day&#8230;. and taking quite an long time.. I was forced to &#8220;overhear&#8221; this conversation.   What struck me as so fucking typical was the fact that after a while this conversation turned to what they had planned for Sunday.</p>
<p>Well, let&#8217;s see, after they each picked up their children from their ex husbands..  ( no issues there.. got my own share of ex&#8217;s )&#8230; but, best part&#8230; they were going out this evening partying the night away.. then picking up the children whom I imagine if girl children would have matching highlighted hair, feathered with big bangs&#8230; and if these children were boys&#8230; well they would have matching mullets&#8230; bu the very best part for me was what they planned for Sunday.. they had Church planned&#8230;   this of course let to who&#8217;s mini van they would take ( of course! ) and then more Church talk.. I happened to be the fortunate person to leave the store behind them &#8211; did I mention the part where they had a 12 pack of bud and some white zif wine?  You know, the kind that comes in a box?  Oh, I am digressing&#8230; seems I was parked next to these two wonderful women.. in a mini van&#8230; complete with the fish emblem on the back size.. ( should have been a whale emblem &#8211; oops&#8230; I know I am going to hell for that one.. good thing I don&#8217; care or believe in ti! )</p>
<p>As I loaded my things into my car, I was struck with how typical these two women represented to me what a typical Church going person represented.  One who is according to the bible they profess to love&#8230; spends 6 1/2 days&#8230; doing everything that goes against the same values they have shoved down their throats that half day on Sunday.  My faovorite part of this group of people, is the fact that they seem to think they can do anything they want  6 1/2 days a week as they have a get out of jail card&#8230; a true scape goat who can never stand up for themselves&#8230;they have the imaginary God to forgive them&#8230;to accept them and to allow them to justify their actions..  Because after all, God will forgive them&#8230; while they fuck you every way they can, because as long as God forgives  them, they do not have to be accountable for anything they do.. ..They are covered Baby!  Better than any insurance policy they could buy.  They got God.</p>
<p>Well, I will pass.. I fuck up, got no one else to blame but myself and accept full responsibility.  I am a grown up and I don&#8217;t need a God to bail my sorry ass out when I mess up, only own up to it and accept what I have done and hope I can survive the humility to learn on my own and make my next mistakes.. there ain&#8217;t no flipping God, just a scapegoat for Sheep&#8217;s and Losers!</p>
<p>That is Sarah B&#8217;s take on it&#8230;.Ciao Baby&#8230;  Sarah B,</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/smoke-break3.jpg"><img title="Ciao Bella, Sarah B..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/smoke-break3.jpg?w=115&#038;h=150" alt="" width="115" height="150" /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/religion/'>religion</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a> Tagged: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/church/'>church</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/follower/'>follower</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/god/'>God</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/loser/'>loser</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/scapegoat/'>scapegoat</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/tag/wt/'>wt</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/62/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=62&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Are You The Kat&#8217;s Meow&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/01/are-you-the-kats-meow/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/10/01/are-you-the-kats-meow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Oct 2010 21:56:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor, satire, wtf, comedy,]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[religion]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Are you the Kat’s Meow…OR are you Something the Kat drug in&#8230;  Do you like to get your Kitty scratched or do you prefer to scratch the Kitty and make it purr…  Hopefully when you are scratching the kitty, you aren’t throwing Kitty Litter everywhere and making a mess… A big mess that is left [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=707&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/hummingbird.jpg"></a><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/sarah-b-and-friend.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-712" title="Here Kitty Kitty... Meow..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/sarah-b-and-friend.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a>Are you the Kat’s Meow…OR are you Something the Kat drug in&#8230;  Do you like to get your Kitty scratched or do you prefer to scratch the Kitty and make it purr…  Hopefully when you are scratching the kitty, you aren’t throwing Kitty Litter everywhere and making a mess… A big mess that is left for the rest of us to scoop up and put back together…</p>
<p>I am all in favor of the purr that comes from scratching the Kitty, but I am not in favor of the aftermath that can come when you scratch the Kitty carelessly and selfishly… The aftermath left in the wake of careless scratching can be devastating on so many levels&#8230;</p>
<p>We have the emotional baggage that we are left to deal with when we realize our the Kitty has been used for nothing more than someone else’s selfish needs and no thought or care of the person who is emotionally invested in this cat box that you are playing in and the damage that can be caused in the aftermath… That baggage sucks… but maybe not as good as it did when they were getting their Kitty scratched… meow…</p>
<p>The other more troubling affect it the not so fun talk of being “socially” responsible when you allow several to play in your Kitty Box…after all, you never know where the Tom Cat has been before he strayed over your direction attracted by your scent of cum hither and make me purr sound… One hopes you are not being a bit on the sly side and playing with multiple partners at once… This could lead to sharing of lots of things unintended to share… so… always remember they make kitty pan liners… and they should be used all the time if you are going to be an Alley Kat…</p>
<p>So Sarah Says… be a Kitty all you want, go get your Kitty scratched and purr like a bitch in heat… We all do… but be careful of whose you let play in your Kitty Box as you may end up with a lot of kitty litter in places you didn’t intend to and it may just be in your best interest to be spayed as well… Meow…</p>
<p>Ciao Bella,</p>
<p>A Wise Kitty Sarah B…</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/smoke-break.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-708" title="Here Kitty Kitty..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/smoke-break.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a></p>
<br />Filed under: <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/comedy-satire-non-pc/'>comedy, satire, non pc</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/humor-satire-wtf-comedy/'>humor, satire, wtf, comedy,</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/religion/'>religion</a>, <a href='http://sarahsviews.com/category/uncategorized/'>Uncategorized</a>  <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gocomments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/comments/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godelicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/delicious/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gofacebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/facebook/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gotwitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/twitter/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/gostumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/stumble/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/godigg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/digg/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/goreddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://feeds.wordpress.com/1.0/reddit/sarahsviews.wordpress.com/707/" /></a> <img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=707&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Whose Reality Are You Living???</title>
		<link>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/08/19/whose-reality-are-you-living/</link>
		<comments>http://sarahsviews.com/2010/08/19/whose-reality-are-you-living/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:20:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Robin Seymour</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[comedy, satire, non pc]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Whose reality are you really living???  Is it theirs or is it yours&#8230;   Are you doing what they want you to do and or what they expect of you???  Are you being their bitch for the day,, the week and the month&#8230; are you getting ready to lower yourself to your knees right this [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=sarahsviews.com&amp;blog=5543847&amp;post=431&amp;subd=sarahsviews&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/shoofly-pie.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-699" title="Who Owns You???" src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/shoofly-pie.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a>Whose reality are you really living???  Is it theirs or is it yours&#8230;   Are you doing what they want you to do and or what they expect of you???  Are you being their bitch for the day,, the week and the month&#8230; are you getting ready to lower yourself to your knees right this very moment&#8230; have your already to strapped on the knee pads and are prepared to do what they want and expect of you and worse yet&#8230; assume you will do for them???</p>
<p>Have you sold yourself out to them, given up on who you are and handed over to them the keys to yourself such a long time ago that don&#8217;t remember how this came about and now they not only own you but also drive your ass too???  Do they service you regularly to keep you running smooth and efficient so you can be there at their beck &#8216;n call&#8230; Because you after all, you are their bitch&#8230;  Do they dangle things in front of you to remind you who owns you when you start to show signs of wanting to break the chains and escape???  Are those carrots in front of your eyes so yummy and nutritious that you stay&#8230;  Is it that you can&#8217;t imagine being without those carrots and you have long forgotten how to grow your own carrots???</p>
<p>Remember those carrots you once planted for yourself???  The ones you nurtured, cherished and savored nightly as you lay in bed planning your future&#8230;  dreaming of your future&#8230; planting the seeds you sowed for your future road to happiness&#8230; what is stopping you from taking your keys back and driving your own ass, owning your own ass&#8230; becoming free and breaking the chains&#8230; I bet if you laid down one night and replanted those seeds as you drifted off to sleep&#8230; and each night, you continued nurturing those seeds and eventually each night as they begun to sprout up&#8230; the carrots of those who think they own you, they would begin to taste bitter and as your continued to nurture your garden and begin to see the root of the carrot break the surface of the ground, their carrot would be full of acid and as you pull that carrot from the ground and brush off the dirt, you will feel the chains fall away from you and then you will feel the keys to yourself placed back in your own hands and at that time, no one would ever own your ass&#8230; you would be back in control of your life, passions, dreams and you would no longer have to strap on knee pads ever again&#8230;  Unless you want to do it for your own purpose and benefit&#8230;</p>
<p>Plant your seeds baby, plant them now&#8230; water them, nurture them and take control of your own life&#8230; and future&#8230;</p>
<p>Ciao Bella&#8230;  Sarah B&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/smoke-break.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-700" title="Plant those seeds baby..." src="http://sarahsviews.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/smoke-break.jpg?w=538" alt=""   /></a></p>
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