You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when your friends tell you that you whine like a little bitch starting her period… yet you are a 37-year-old man… that just simply hasn’t figured out that the lotion isn’t really working for the motion and that in order to get some… you gotta step out to go get it out… Pansy Ass… get off the net and go out and meet a real woman or at least invest in a … oh never mind!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when you go to the gym and get on the treadmill and put it on 2.8 speed… Hold on to the handles like you are gonna fall off… sweat like you are in the sauna and turn on the Home and Garden channel…while the Chickie Poo next to you has it on…. 6.0… is running on mile 9 and watching ESPN and dripping sweat all down her body… and all you notice is the fact that the colors on the wall of the house on TV are sooo wrong… Pansy Ass… Hello… can you not see the sweat dripping between her cleavage??? Idiot!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when the elevator sign at work is out-of-order and you have to carry your lame ass up two flights of stairs, while trying not to spill your Starbucks Venti Mocha with extra whip cream and low fat muffin… while the person who works three floors up jaunts up the stairs past you and you are starting to pit out… Pansy Ass… get your ass to the gym!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when you would rather sit in the house all weekend long watching reruns of Will & Grace on TV instead of going outside and getting some sun on those ugly ass white legs and actually working up a sweat doing something.. because we know you aren’t gonna be doing “someone”… Pansy Ass… get off your ass and do something… Please.. cover those legs up!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when your wife has to go to the store to buy you some hemorrhoid medicine cuz you just can’t take the pain.. OMFG!!!!! Are you kidding me… she squirted out a freaking thing the size of a watermelon in the morning, cleaned house that afternoon and still had to run to the store to fix your ass…. Pansy Ass… in so many ways.. I can’t even begin describe!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when your older friends can kick your ass all over the place on the court… they have to allow you get a basket… and have to avoid the sweat piles you are leaving so they don’t slip and fall… everywhere… Can you say… Outta shape Pansy Ass??? Hello…they call it a “gym”… go find one!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when you think you can still go all night long and you don’t realize your partner is asleep until you wake up with her on top of you drooling across your chest and snoring… cuz your ass couldn’t be on top to do the job… OMG..that is so wrong… You are the ultimate Pansy Ass!!!
You know you are a “Pansy Ass” when you actually think your mullet looks good with your new perm and highlights… and your gold chain, gold nugget ring and you glue a fake diamond on your front tooth…so you think you are a stud… No you Pansy Ass…that is called having NO friends to teach you any better or NO mirror in your house… Go get some new friends, a mirror and invest $10 at Super Cuts!!!
OK… Sarah B… typically doesn’t single out a gender.. but WTF… it fit and was fun… I will get the women next time around, but they are sooo whiny I just couldn’t deal with them today… if you feel you have been male bashed…then I accomplished my goal for the day …. so shut up “Pansy Ass”!!!
Ciao Bella… Sarah B… feeling a wee bit bitchy today…