As we all know… from years of hearing it… there is a term we are all familiar with… “Beer Goggles”…  For those of you stuck under a moss covered rock and for some lame ass reason, not familiar with the term beer goggles…  The easiest way for me to give you the shortest explanation is the following… Have ugly girlfriend or family member that is either married or with “child” and you wonder….WTF??? How the fuck did she get someone or …. I don’t need to go any farther…  Simple explanation…  She see’s the victim… plies him with “Beer”…  takes him home…  Now should her goal simply to be get “knocked up” then it will be a quickie… wait.. he has been drinking…  so a long night ahead… but once mission accomplished, he wakes up… frightened.. gathers his clothes and leaves and you get to be an Aunt or babysitter… However, should she be trying to land a mate… the tactic is much different… she has about 27 cases of beer in her house… 12 six packs in the fridge at all times… same thing above happens…  however she gets up before he does…. and has a beer by the bed with a love note… saying…this will help your head… while I shower… more in the fridge… this repeats until the day after the wedding… OK… as she is now “with child” and the rest is history… Beer Goggles have ruined many a good mans life!  Too bad so sad.. you fucking idiot!!!  You clearly allowed the beer goggles to conrol the thinking head….

Now…  “Wine Goggles” are of a whole different beast…. oh but what a fun, totally trashy, beast they are… I love my wine goggles…  I cherish them and relish every damn moment that I have the opportunity to use them..   My wine google are like Superman’s X-ray vision goggles…. they give me and all my “girlies” the power to do…WTF ( oh hell… as Miss Jaz T. would say… why not spell it out!!)  What The Fuck EVER…we want to do it…  Now…where shall we start???  The stories and list are so long.. not as long as something fun I could use right now as I am drinking a glass of wine… oops.. was that my outside typing fingers again???  Oh well…. we will chalk that up to “wine goggles”… now to be known as WG…  Got your WG???  Got Milk is boring…. but But WG…well sister… that is a hell of a lot more fun…  don’t ya think…

WG gives us power that is well above the power of Beer Goggles…  Trust me sister on this on…  Put on your WG’s and you can and WILL do anything…  I mean anything… what you can do is… pick up your closest friend and head over to a local wine bar ( of course.. what else ) order up some wine…  have a glass or 4 and verbally abuse the male servers. close patrons and or bartender and ask them to come and table dance for you…  I swear under the oath of “god” (LMFAO cuz there ain’t no one named god in my book )…. that I have or my best girlies have never done that… However… we have been known to put on our WG’s…. in the heat of summer… being smart enough to know we could or should not drive to the store…walk to the store.. buy a few MORE bottles of wine.. walk home..sit on the porch and insist the neighbors whom have come over to see that things are ok… since I guess our loud trashy asses are too loud… and insist they take their shirts off to show us how hot they are…  OK… we had the WG’s on.. but the lame asses, actually showed us…  That required more wine… to forget the sight… omfg…  I / we will never ask a neighbor to “expose” any body part ever again.. why you ask???  Not cuz he was not even worth seeing WG’s or not…  come on now…help me here… He is the “fucking” neighbor!!!  Meaning… the next time you see him…he wants to show you his chest for fun when you pass each other in the morning on your way to work… and now not even a good stiff cup of coffee can get that image outta of  your mind… so you might as well… just realized you are fucked with him without ever getting fucked…. damn…nothing like a dry boring …!!!

WG’s have been known to take a “shopping” road trip… Oh yeah!!!  Did you  ever wonder how that “odd” non matching piece of furniture or that fucking retarded piece of clothing, that only a 20 year old size zero would wear is now hanging in your closet…  after you modeled it… while still under the influences of WG to your other half… and please remember…this sheer piece of material was designed for a size ZERO… you idiot… and you …. shall, I say… are a few digits away from that… well.. OK.. maybe more than a few…  However under the effects of WG….wtf do you care???  You thought it fit and looked cute at that moment and the damn dirty ass bastard you are living with better damn well appreciate it… asshole!!!    Besides the shopping trips… and asking strangers to strip…  Please keep in mind that our “WG’s” do not ever require us to crawl under covers with anyone… WG’s… are different… they offer a different type of confidence such as… making calls you would never do, sending emails…that you vaguely remember when you wake up and are horrified when you check your sent file… fuck… damn….oh well… time to start thinking up your story to cover your once again lame ass… you have the confidence to do and say way more than you can follow thru on… as my family says… “your mouth is saying…way more than your ass can cover…  So…I want to hear your WG stories…

Send them to Sarah B with your WG’s on…so we can laugh at you together…

Ciao Bella… WG….ghetto ass white trash Miss Sarah B…  At least for today’s Blog…