Get Over Your Lame Ass

So…. recently some dumb ass sent me this email called “The Zen of Saracasm” …  Ok…so has this idiot NOT read any of Sarahs Blogs???  I mean… I may not always be “happy happy joy joy” but on the sarcasm level… I feel as though I can hold my own..  So, let’s see what the “Ball Brothers” felt the need to forward on and what I think the true response is… but for the record… I am waiting for Marvin to come back and play… I hope we didn’t scare his cracker ass off… Oh well…

Mr. BS..( this is what we shall call him, cuz he is full of shit!!! ) says…  If nobody cares you are alive… try missing a few car payments…  Sarah thinks that since Mr. BS has brought up this topic… He is about to have his car repossessed and has quit answering his phone…  If Mr.BS were smart…he would never apply for credit with “actual” addresses he uses…dumb ass.. they find you that way… you are an idiot… you deserve to lose your car!

Mr.BS says… Give a man a fish and he will eat all day…  Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day…  Sarah says…. 2 things… First…  Fish…smell’s fishy… and he should recommend his woman take a shower… Ooh… second….he sits in a boat and drinks all day???  Well…. who the fuck cares….  he clearly serves no real purpose….let him be and move on…  He doesn’t want to work and your stupid ass taught him how to fish.. so shut the fuck up and get over it!

Mr.BS says… If you lend someone $20 and never see them again… It was a pretty wise investment…  Sarah says…. You think???  In fact I bet you gave that $20 to a family member… cuz I have always heard if you need a good screw… go to family…. In fact, I have an Aunt… I have dubbed $20!  So quit your bitching, we are tired of your whining… you gave the $20! 

Dumb Ass Mr. BS says… ( this is exceptionally classic!)…. Some days you are the Bug and sometimes you are the windshield… Sarah says… you know idiot… you can’t see a fucking car coming toward you… then you deserve to be a bug… You know what that is called???  Thinning out the herd!!  And sunshine… you have just been thinned!  Ahhh… I can feel the ZEN arriving now…. yes… more air…

Oh, Mr. Bright BS says… There are two theories to arguing with a women.  Neither one will work…  Sarah says… been that long since you were laid???  Try agreeing with her and she will put out… argue with her as you continue to do… and you will keep those BB’s!

Wow….this one is good… I think… Mr. BS says… NEVER under any circumstances… take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night before going to bed…  Sarah says… hey dumb ass.. if you can’t tell you are about to have a special moment… then a sleeping pill won’t matter… you have just been fortunate enough to be awake during those times…  We know you drink and all that special shit… so quit blaming your age on your “special issues”….. ever heard the term TMI… wait… you are old… that means… slowly… ” Too Much Information”…. keep your crap to yourself!  We aren’t interested baby cakes..

OK…. This one is a stretch… Mr.. BS says… Generally speaking… you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving…  Sarah says… LOOK dumb ass… do you want a BJ or do you want to talk… make up your mind… OH..wait…  do we need some “blue” pills or would you prefer to hang out with Sarah B and have a glass of wine and think about me shutting the fuck up…

Sarah says… where is Marvin….  Mr.. BS needs to get better at this!!

Ciao Bella… Your “talking.. not blowing” Sarah B….

 The Bitch Crew

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