Month: November 2009

Sooo… Sarah Says…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Artist Gregory HergertSooo… I thought it would be kind of fun to let you know what I was thinking today, because we all know lots of people like this… Sooo… Sarah Says…

Sarah Says… You really need to get a clue… as in, get a fucking clue!!!   Sarah wonders if you have any real clue about who you really are…  Yeah, you muffin…  Who you are, what you are and what you want to be when you grow up???  Cuz… Guess What????  You are all GROWN up….  So act grown up…and get a clue….Yes, this means you!!! 

Sarah Says…. What the hell???   No really, what the hell???  Just what the hell are you talking about and please tell me what the hell are you doing???  So, what the hell????  Sarah says, get a fucking clue so you can figure out what the hell you need to do and more importantly, why the hell you aren’t doing it…  because you aren’t so… stand on your own two feet and “please” get your ass on down the road and just do it… what the hell… 

Sarah Says… Why on earth should we care about you???  Are you that special and why should we give a shit about what you are thinking, doing and most importantly… What you are NOT doing… Sooo really, if you don’t care… then why should we???  I really think you should get a clue, figure out what the hell you want and then maybe we will care too… however, more importantly maybe, you will care… because right now you don’t…  so, you know what???  It’s  your call baby cakes….the balls in your court…

Sarah Says….  You are sometimes, just one big “whiny ass bitch”… and just why the fuck is that???  What do you really have to whine about and why are you just such a bitch???   Seriously… I think, you should get a fucking clue, figure out what the hell is your annoying problem,  fix it or quick worrying about if cuz all your whining does nothing more than makes you sound just like a bitch… and that makes you suck…  worse than any hoover I have ever used…

Sarah Says… You can do anything that you want and you don’t need anyone’s approval to do it, cuz we really don’t give a rats ass what you do, think, want, whine about, have no clue about or give a shit about…  I guess I could go on… but really, what is the point???  You aren’t paying attention anyway… cuz that would mean you would have to quit thinking about you and what everyone thinks  about you…  seems this statement is going in circles…  Next!!!

Sarah Says… Could you please just get a life… a real life…   Maybe even “your own” life…  Maybe stay out of everyone else’s life… quit worrying about what everyone else is or isn’t doing… because we are living our own lives???  So why don’t you quit worrying about what we are doing instead figure out what the hell you want to do…  then maybe we will give a fuck about you   Really though, if YOU would just shut your lame whiny ass trap, live your own life and keep your nose out of everyone else’s business… then maybe you will be happy???   Wow… what a concept, to be happy!!!   I know we would be happy if that would happen…

Sarah says to please just get over yourself and get on down the road baby cakes… Live life… Because, we are and we are tired of the fact that you don’t… Only you can change it baby…  So quit your bitching and do something about it for a change… Because  Sarah Says,  simply just shut the fuck up…. you just aren’t that important… and someone had to finally tell you… and I drew the short straw… so that is all for now…

Ciao Bella…  A Very Bitchy Ass Sarah B…

Sarah Says

Bag Type DD: OH What A HO HO HO…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Artist Gregory HergertBag Type DD:  OH what a HO HO HO… At least I didn’t say fun bags… But really, do I need to say anything else???  Oh what a Ho… What could I possibly mean by this statement???  HO HO HO… as in  Merry Fucking Christmas???  Or …. do I mean, Ho Ho Ho… as in, Hey Kitten, you better just get yourself on down to the nearest street corner and starting making a few bucks, cuz  sweet cheeks, the Rent is due and the babies need some food on the table!!!  After all we keep hearing we are in a recession or depression…  Right???  How many times have I heard recently that someone could make more money on their knees than siting on that wide spread of an ass behind a desk or pumping gas??? 

Think about it Honey, in every down a depressed economy, the sales of make up go Up…Up… and oh yeah… UP!!!  Do you think it is to make one feel better about themselves???  Seriously, you can’t be that naive…  Are you???  I highly doubt it…  Not only does make up sales go up, but also the sale of precious beloved alcohol goes up…  (I have helped contribute to that one sugar!!! )  I guess for those of you are sheep or want to live in your little four corners of your world and ignore what is going on, then you can assume that one is simply buying “make up” to make themselves feel better and the “alcohol” to take the stress of the day away as they sit and veg out the TV news and media… and pretend while they sit in their chair all made up with no money to go out and sitting by themselves with a glass of wine or a shot of vodka… on the rocks… that everything in the world is perfect and wonderful… NOT!!!

I mean really, do they LOVE their jobs right???  Do they think their spouses don’t cheat and their kids don’t whine all that much…  Really???  Fuck no, that is bullshit baby, that is a life of a dreamer and of someone who is living in a delusional world, a life of unreality or as we used to say… The life of Riley!!!   They are unrealistic to what is really going on…  However, put all that aside and accept the fact that we “must” be realistic to what is really going on in the world and accept the fact that the average person is out there daily, fighting for their share of corner time over the well seasoned working girl, they are busting down the front door of their new pimp daddy so they can get a sign on bonus to pay the rent…  OK.. well, maybe they aren’t actually on a corner pushing the true “first entrepreneur” off, but… they are doing things that they would have never considered themselves capable of doing  a year ago… because in these times, honey… the motto is “by hook or crook”…

In our time right now, they will do things that they once consider to be beneath them… or thought they would never have to do again… because they thought they had finally achieved what they deemed a stable life… Well, Sweet Cheeks… It is time to wake up and work your lame ass, the good ole days are gone and they won’t be returning anytime soon, so we all gotta step it up, step out and put on a bit of extra lip stick or in my case, chap stick… Take a BIG swig from that bottle and get on our own corner and work it baby, work it good and if you need to… then get on your knees and do what it takes to make it work… Don’t be shy!!!  Shyness will get you no where in life and it won’t pay your bills baby…

After all….  Bag Type DD:  OH What A HO HO HO  can mean many different things… Only you can let your imagination take it the right or wrong direction…  My theory is do what or whoever it takes baby to make it and answer only to yourself…

Ciao, Sarah B – Bag Type DD…

 Artist Gregory Hergert

e-Homely.com will take you when e-Harmony won’t…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


First off…there is no such thing as an e-Homely.com so don’t get your panties all in a tight little wad because you just read the title… cuz either two things just happened when you read the title… You laughed your little jelly ass right off or… you said… Really???  Where do I sign up???  How much does it cost and this is ONE sight I don’t mind posting a “real picture” of myself on…   Woo Hoo… e-Homely.com baby, here I come!!!  I mean I would post my picture on this site… if it really existed… I am not saying that I am an overly homely person … but I am also not saying I am not a stunning beauty either…  I mean, come on… this is SarahB…

So lets take this a step further… If you have ever sat down and watched the Ads on TV for these websites, you should have noticed that the only people they advertise a happy success stories on these sites are all pretty or adorable???  Both the Men and the Women!!!  My first thought as I am watching this is… WTF???  Why would you put these model looking people on TV commercials for these websites to get the “average” person to get up and walk over to their computer, give up the cash on the credit card???   Hello… I don’t want to burst your bubble little muffin tops… but if you haven’t noticed most of us do not quite look like those women on TV with perfect hair, pretty smiles… perky breasts, asses and all of 25 years old, while it is also apparent that the men have spent half of their days for the past 7 years working out and still have hair???  Why do these people need to join a dating site to hook up???  Did I miss that step in my 20’s and went directly to marriage???  Gasp!!!  No wonder it didn’t work out… it had nothing to do with the fact that I am sarcastic bitch… I wasn’t hooked up with the right mate that matched me to 25 compatible life changing points… to ensure me a life time of  Happy Happy – Joy Joy… Shit…  I could have saved myself some grief, money and of course found my soul mate…boy am I am idiot… not!!!

However… I think there should be a site for real people… we may not need to call it e-Homely.com but maybe something like… Website hook up for the Average Joe and the tag lines can be… Hey, I got a few kids hanging around the house and a few extra pounds on my thighs… but I am still a pretty OK person, who will always be there…  or my hair has moved to my back…but the quantity is still the same and I guarantee you wont’ get cold at night or sleep alone…  There should be a site that is dedicated to real people where  they can actually feel comfortable enough to post not their college pic or the one that they had a good friend take at the perfect angle that gives you the illusion they are 110lbs…which is retarded … but  instead you post pics of you taken within the last 6 months with your kids, exes, dogs, cats etc… ,one that isn’t of just your head, but shows that muffin or in some cases… muffins that are tagging along with you… or the one that show the actual amount of hair you don’t have… like women really give a shit about hair on men…  Instead of being a CEO you can tell the truth and say, I am one broke ass dick cuz I got nailed by my ex in divorce court, I got child support for the next 8 years, my house ain’t much, but it is mine and I work hard at the factory for a living…  It should be real and not fluff… This site should have a “what is your baggage” section and it should be filled out truthfully as we all have baggage… and when they say none… Then the site can automatically redirect them to e-Harmony or Match.com where they can say all the lies they want and look for a 10 when they are barely a 3…  LOL… I bet if there were a real site for real people… it would be number 1 and what I would consider a “cash cow”…  MOO… doesn’t always mean FatAss…It can also mean the sound of cash being stuffed into my bank account…  I need to hurry and start a website!!! 

Ciao Bella… Sarah B… a 5.50… LOL!!!

Check your Ego at the door… Please!!!

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Baaaa BaaaaHello….Hello…  Just who the Fuck do you think  you are???  I don’t think you know and I am pretty damn sure none of us want to know either…  What???  I can’t hear you… No, that does not mean say it again, idiot… it simply means “shut the fuck up” !!!  Oh yeah, I said that and better yet babycakes… I said it to you!!!  Yes… you… I know it is hard for you to accept that I would say such a thing to you…  I mean after all… it is You!!!  The one and only you…  “You” are the person who requires us to expand our doorways before you enter… you are the one who requires us to stand beneath the shadow of your greatness, to pause and listen when you speak… to follow you from here and there… like sheep being led around by our noses and empty heads…

Well sweet cheeks… You really aren’t ALL that…  I know, shocking…  How can I say such a thing to YOU???  The infamous you…  I mean, after all…  This is YOU we are talking about… or shall I say, you are talking about!!!  You spend so much time talking about you and what you are and what you do and what you think you are and how wonderful it is to be you and how we should all be so damn grateful to know the “one and only you”!!!  WTF Ever…

Well beautiful… I hate to be the one to make you wake up all sticky in a  wet puddle… but you really aren’t all that… Ohhh, I am sorry… did I piss in you Wheaties???  Did I rain on your parade???  Did I take the wind out of your sails???  Guess what???  Too fucking bad… get over your lame ass… cuz you know what???  The doorways into this world are not about to be widened for the likes of you or your kind to walk through… In fact, the last time I looked there was nothing more special about you than anyone else or myself for that matter… You are not going to get me to bend over back wards for you and no one should bend over backwards for you or worse yet… bend over at all and take it where the sun doesn’t shine baby… because you haven’t got anything that special to make or cause anyone to need or want to do that… I know….Shocking!!!  You simply aren’t that great or unique…  No one will stand beneath your shadow of what you think is greatness as I am fairly certain that shadow is nothing more that a few extra pounds of flesh you are carrying around because you are really an insecure little piece of work that has over indulged themselves on gluttony of the life line of others… Your shadow smells of bad body odor and reeks of the followers that are really sheep you have led to slaughter for your own guiltless pleasure…

Well now you should listen for just a few… maybe you haven’t figured it out yet… but in this house… no one here are sheep and you are not that special… you are simply nothing at all… no different from the rest of us… so no door ways will be widened to allow you through… in fact, at this house baby… you can “check your ego at the door” or take your lame sorry ass down the street where someone with low self-esteem is in need of a God to follow…will eagerly become your next tool pawn in your game…We follow no one here, but ourselves … perhaps you should give it a try… If not… take your God complex outta here and on down the way… baby… go find an alter to build to yourself or shall we say your Ego… there will always be another of like your kind as soon as we get rid of you… as well as those who will want to follow you … as this world is made up of Egos and Sheeps…  too bad and so sad that people feel as though they must be one or the other to fit in…  Oh well… Sarah B doesn’t want to fit in and those who believe in themselves should not as well…

Ciao Bella…  a humble Sarah B…

No sheep here sister!