Do you ever stop and wonder why things are the way they are… and just how you got to this very moment in time???  What happened and what brought you to this very place where you are sitting at right now… reading this… tuning out the screaming child; pretending not to notice the stack of bills piled high on the kitchen counter and ignoring the out of area phone calls on your cell… gotta love whoever fucking invented caller ID,..don’t ya?  Sure has saved my ass more times than I care to think about from talking to someone I didn’t need to, nor want to or, be able to handle talking to at that time…  So,  how the hell did you get to this Blog???  This Blog that I know really grates on your nerves sometimes with the topics I choose, my opinions and the expressiveness that I choose to use…  However, here you sit, right…  Reading my nasty ass  Blog, I thought so…  And I thank you.. and I am very sincere…

Back to topic… The topic of what brought you here…  What events in your life made it possible for you to have this moment to sit and read with me???  I bet you don’t have a damn clue, do you???  Seriously…. sit back… take a sip of whatever it is that makes you feel better…  and think.. .think hard… think long… ( nice topic – oops, outside typing fingers again lol )  Think about it some more… Where you are today???   Do you like it???  It is where you thought you would be???  It is what you wanted???  Expected… desired???    I imagine not…  It so rarely is… the thing you  must think about is ,what exact events you chose, the Y’s in the road you took.. to get here.. to be sitting here..  reading…. not liking your life…   Your mind is starting to go isn’t it…  I can feel it, hear it.. can you?  Can you feel the wheels turning inside… spinning like a hamster on a wheel inside your head???  Is it really that bad to think about those thoughts, those events that brought you here??   Let’s just  say, you have had a really shitty week, month, year.. lost your house, car, mate… maybe a friend has exited your life..   You ARE thinking aren’t you…  Do you know what you are thinking about??  I do.. It is all about the bad shit that happened to you to get you here to this very moment…   Why is that??  Was it all bad??  I know there were some really fucked up events that happened.. that possibly you would do any bargaining in the world to change the outcome…  But, do you see what you did, when I asked you the question???  You ONLY thought of the bad events in your life… the ones that seemed to stand out above any and all positives… that happened to you, your family, loved ones, friends… co workers..  What about the Positives…..Why are those times are so easy to over look… aren’t they??  Why is that??   Is it because we are programmed to be self absorbed, self focused and to dwell on and throw yourself  our own pity parties??  Yes we are… and because of that we can really suck.. can’t we…

I feel that for every single shitty ass event that has ever happened in my entire life, for as far back as I can remember… a door slammed shut, a tear was cried… and a big door opened wide and a new opportunity happened and that new opportunity led me to the next sad moment that also opened a door and led me to a better opportunity… I, today, would NOT be the person I am and nor would you be whom you are without the bad events in our lives… What we as humans have to train ourselves is to not wallow in self pity, but instead, to open our eyes and see the opportunity that lies ahead of us and realize that we are who we are at this exact moment, the moment you sat down to read this because of every event and second in your life up to now… Those events made you whom you are…    If you are currently in  a fucked situation, know that it will be better and when you quit looking backwards and start looking forward, you will be amazed at how far you have come , survived and been through and know you are a better person for all the nasty ass times in life….

My glass in never half empty or half  full… it is always running over… and so should yours… or shut your trap and figure it out… cuz those of us who choose the power of postive thinking… Do not need or want those of you who are always looking behind you in your life… to drag us backwards… Please make a change and look ahead.. it is great up there…  Honey, don’t confuse what you just read… I didn’t say look up, you won’t find what you need lookng up… I said look ahead… It gets a lot fucking better ahead… Trust me…

Ciao Bella… Sarah B…

Art work of Gregory Hergert