Cell phone…cell phone… Go Away…

I was wondering just how special of a person you have to be to talk “loudly” in public on your cell phone???  Are you that important???  Or are you just that pathetic…..  After listing to your conversation that of course I and anyone within a 20 foot radius was forced to endure…  I am starting to lean a bit more in the “pathetic” direction…  I mean really…  Do you honestly think myself and everyone else needed to hear about your day???  What you ate???  What you deposited in the bathroom??? Yes, No, Yes… not sure…   Ooohhh..  not sure???  That in itself is disturbing alone…

What makes you feel so damn important that it is necessary for all of us around you to know about your life???  I really don’t care what time you pick up your kids…. I really don’t care what happened in your day… and I am fairly certain the person whose ass you are riding in line due to your pure ignorance of respect of personal space cares about the fact that your baby girl has a snotty nose and you had to stop by your mom’s house on the way home from work so you could borrow $20 bucks to buy your baby girl some stuff for her whittle stuffy nose… Hey,  I am only repeating it the way you told your friend or should I say “friends” on the other end of the phone call …  because it was quite apparent you made lots of calls….  to lots of people… I would have loved to been able to speak up and say… I don’t see any stuffy nose medicine in your basket, that look more like a bottle of ghetto cat negro white wine at $3.99 a bottle… ooh baby….  nothing like a cheap hangover… that is if one bottle will still give you a hang over.. though judging by your complexion.. I would feel safe to say NO… oh and Hell no… baby….  I am fairly certain your baby girl is home with the neighbor brat and feeling quite fine and the rest of that money will go for gas, some smokes and some drive thru off the dollar menu..  Bt you keep on a calling and talking and baby girl as my cracker ass white ghetto Auntie likes to say… you just have a good night and you give them all a call after you have taken care of that bottle… “baby girl”…  you really have the stuffy nose… and the cell phone to be important…  Real important…

Could be worse… as I experienced the other day standing in the DMV line… which brings up a very important thought.. Is there an IQ requirement to work there???  I am fucking pretty damn sure… answer is NO.. and I could go down the list of a few other govermnent agencies.. but why… I was the DMV….  they are special.. but hell, what could I say, my sorry ass was there too.. right???  Replacing some mis placed ID…the kind that losers who use their cell phones they paid for with other peoples ID’s when they help themselves to their wallets… Oh, wait… get off the soap box and trash tweakers another day.. ( mental note… trash tweakers )… LOL..  like I could forget that.. so back to DMV…where IQ’s to be employed, not required… but better yet…. if you go to a place like the DMV and are forced to endure standing in line for any period of time, you will not only observer or should I say… hear tweakerville mentioned above.. but you also get to experience “texters”… speed  texters… people whom are so engrossed in their new phone that they don’t hear tweakerville, they don’t even know that anyone or thing exists other than their phones that are color coordinated to match their personalities…  they text, they don’t ever look up…. they are texting at least 5 different people at the same time…  They don’t see you, hear you or the person in front of them.. the only reason they move is their head is bent forward looking down at the phone they are texting on and they notice the space of distance now in front of them from the person whom has moved up ahead.. these  people are truly amazing…. However, I am not sure they would be able to engage in an actual oral conversation….  they are only able to communicate thru text… so their phone makes them as important as tweakerville… but we shall call them….hmmm… I am thinking… we shall call them.. BFS Texters… that will stand for Big Fucking Special Texters…  Ahhh… my day at the grocery store and the DMV…  just doesn’t fucking get any better… now does it…  Howver, I now know how important a cell phone can make you… lol!!!  NOT….

Ciao Bella.. Bitchy Ass Sarah B…. I think I will go pour myself a glass of white ghetto wine, make a few calls and text a few people before calling it a night, so I can fit right in…


  1. marlene · September 1, 2009

    You are so right. How about going to a restaurant and seeing the older guy with the younger chick texting her heart away and smiling and so involved that he does not exist. He sits there on his ass staring at the ceiling and her every once in awhile. Of course he could slap her but he patiently awaits her arrival back to the real world where people are really having dinner. Helloooooooo
    They both look stupid.

  2. marlene · September 1, 2009

    Sarah what about the cell phones with all the music. So righteous.
    And the voicemails with songs. They are really entertaining…NOT

  3. Seymour Robin · September 1, 2009

    Girl…I gotta set you up with a Blog and character so you can write.. you are fun and funny!! Ciao.. Sarah… Love it!!

  4. Matt · September 1, 2009

    Haha that was awesome! I surprised sometimes at how stupid people are that the jobs that you would assume would require some intelligence, and its not just one or two employees is 85% of them. I cant wait to hear about the fuckin blight on society tweakers blog, that is an endless parade of shit.

  5. Seymour Robin · September 1, 2009

    LOL….You made Sarah laugh!!! And…oh how true!!!

  6. brandy seymour · September 2, 2009

    i cant tell you how many times i wanted to shove people’s cell phone’s right up there ass lol.

  7. Barney-J · September 2, 2009

    Somethings gotta make’em feel wanted and important. Afterall, their vibrators and inflatable dolls are tucked safe away in their ghetto tent next the the 3.99 bottle of wine!~ And they know for sure that all around are in such envy. Especially Sarah whose listening closely !

  8. Seymour Robin · September 2, 2009

    Gotta love my Ghetto Wine! It makes me whine…soooo damn good….!

  9. Seymour Robin · September 2, 2009

    I want to be there when you do that.. so I can use my cell phone to take a picture and text it to everyone I know…. Sarah… B…

  10. Kristen Arnold · September 2, 2009

    My favorite is that when I’m sitting on the train I have one person who’s on their cell phone, another person who is typing on their iPhone with the little click sound on, and of course some self-centered idiot who thinks that it is their right to drown out the noise of the world by making the world listen to their personal music from their headphones. I mean really what the heck happened to common courtesy, it’s not just something for our parents and grandparents. Our generation needs to wake up and realize that there is a whole big world out there, and we are not at the center of it!

  11. Seymour Robin · September 2, 2009

    Our generation is so self absorbed it is amazing! I am always shocked and feel old when I see something and say, I would have never.. or would have got my ass beat if I… oh, I am old and today’s generation is spoiled!

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