Look Up!!! Scape-Goat Above…


So, the other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store and this person in front of me was just going on and on to someone she had drug to the store with her.  This shall we say, Princess?  Was going on and on to her friend about how she made sure to get back at her loser boyfriend…. by fucking around with her neighbor… I don’t mean F’ng around in such a way that she was messing with his head..well, I guess I do mean that in a way..  ooh!!  Well, anyway,  because this little wide load of a princess spoke so loud and apparently had a 4 pack a day of smoke habit based on her vocal cords… went on quite loudly and with her raspy voice about how her boyfriend deserved this.. and all the whys and ways!

While I can’t pass judgement on her reasons, cuz the guy did sound like a loser ( that she picked! )… but I wondered to myself  if she had looked a mirror at any point in time over the past few years.   Because the last time I checked, 1995, was gone and we are in a new decade of clothing, hair, make up and crude public display and talk were about as in style as 1981!  However, since the cahier was challenged this particular day…. and taking quite an long time.. I was forced to “overhear” this conversation.   What struck me as so fucking typical was the fact that after a while this conversation turned to what they had planned for Sunday.

Well, let’s see, after they each picked up their children from their ex husbands..  ( no issues there.. got my own share of ex’s )… but, best part… they were going out this evening partying the night away.. then picking up the children whom I imagine if girl children would have matching highlighted hair, feathered with big bangs… and if these children were boys… well they would have matching mullets… bu the very best part for me was what they planned for Sunday.. they had Church planned…   this of course let to who’s mini van they would take ( of course! ) and then more Church talk.. I happened to be the fortunate person to leave the store behind them – did I mention the part where they had a 12 pack of bud and some white zif wine?  You know, the kind that comes in a box?  Oh, I am digressing… seems I was parked next to these two wonderful women.. in a mini van… complete with the fish emblem on the back size.. ( should have been a whale emblem – oops… I know I am going to hell for that one.. good thing I don’ care or believe in ti! )

As I loaded my things into my car, I was struck with how typical these two women represented to me what a typical Church going person represented.  One who is according to the bible they profess to love… spends 6 1/2 days… doing everything that goes against the same values they have shoved down their throats that half day on Sunday.  My faovorite part of this group of people, is the fact that they seem to think they can do anything they want  6 1/2 days a week as they have a get out of jail card… a true scape goat who can never stand up for themselves…they have the imaginary God to forgive them…to accept them and to allow them to justify their actions..  Because after all, God will forgive them… while they fuck you every way they can, because as long as God forgives  them, they do not have to be accountable for anything they do.. ..They are covered Baby!  Better than any insurance policy they could buy.  They got God.

Well, I will pass.. I fuck up, got no one else to blame but myself and accept full responsibility.  I am a grown up and I don’t need a God to bail my sorry ass out when I mess up, only own up to it and accept what I have done and hope I can survive the humility to learn on my own and make my next mistakes.. there ain’t no flipping God, just a scapegoat for Sheep’s and Losers!

That is Sarah B’s take on it….Ciao Baby…  Sarah B,

You Just Don’t Know Who You Shop With???


Have you ever just looked around at wondered what the person standing in line at the grocery store was really like?  Not like… in “hey baby” wonder what he would be like to take for a spin???  But more so, in I really wonder what this person is all about…  If you look at the items in his grocery cart… you begin to form a mental image of who this person is once they walk outside of the store… You are behind him in line for quite some time now, behind you is an equally interesting person that you have already surmised up whom and what she is all about in 12 seconds… didn’t take long, face sunken in… teeth gone, hair dyed and unkempt… With her are 3 screaming brats…  Oh please, don’t act offended… you know for a fact you have stood in line with this same person and wondered first, who the hell would fuck her and why the hell didn’t someone shut down her baby making factory after she popped out the first one…  Better yet, the first one isn’t even here with her as we all know the first one is at least 17 and one of these screaming brats in store with this person is actually her grand child… after all the cycle tends to perpetuate… the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as we are told and you know, when she finally gets done saying… NO… we got.. No… you already got and no…no….no… she will give in and each child will get what they want, while she whips out that special government subsidised card to pay for it…  oh, I meant to say, that we just bought… except for that 6 pack of cheap beer ( honey – I am standing next to these kids and I am ready to crack open one of her damn beers and I don’t drink that shit ) and let’s not forget her smokes… those are paid for with bottle return coupons… The ones where she had stood out side and turned in bottles for… those pay for the special things that we don’t…

Damn, let’s back to the hottie in front of you, you have managed to keep your back turned as much as you can from the Crystal Queen behind you…  You are really starting to focus in on this cutie pie and the items  he is placing on the checkout counter in front of you.  He is cute enough, maybe 36?  34?  you don’t know, but that does make him legal..right?  Oh wait….. he has a ring on.. not on his finger.. but attached to his NOSE as well as to his penis… it is his cell phone… she is calling non stop… Yes, uh, yes dear.. I got the buns, yes, the wheat ones… ( well you think at least he eats somewhat healthy.. . Right??  )  No, they didn’t have any… yes, I got… no… OMFG…. what a pain in the ass… Shit, what he should have said is… look bitch, if you don’t think I am capable of getting the right things at the damn grocery store, perhaps you should have gotten off your bon bon mother fucking ass and came here yourself… but he doesn’t say that.. Not out-loud at least… Now you are curious…  Just what else is in his cart?  Casually you look at the items he is unloading  as you are trying to tune out Crystal who is making gumming noises over your shoulder… OMG… please go buy some teeth!!!  So, in his cart is…  diapers… toddler size…  so he has a kid, OK, who doesn’t…  buns – wheat mind you as previously verified by his better (LOL) half.. .milk, 2%.. OK, he is or she is making an effort to be somewhat healthy… OMFG..  the fucking ball and chain is calling again.. yes, no… well…  but…I thought you said.. he looks at you, then to the cashier…  The cashier is so used to this, to him it is just another inconsiderate loser that is rude enough to use his phone while at the check out counter…  OK.. after a long pause he says … I will see if they have it… But, but… I am already at the counter paying!!!  Click… it is obvious the click didn’t originate from him, but from the dick he lives with… I would say pussy, but it is clear, he is the pussy in this relationship and the tampons in the cart really should be for him and she is the penis that runs the house and wears the or should we say… his pants…

Too bad… even Crystal behind me isn’t so annoying compared to this person in front of me…  She at least is out doing what she needs to do to make it and not waiting on someone else to do it for her… proud enough to turn in bottles to feed herself and her family and proud enough to admit she needed help from us to make it… gotta admit, may not be our way, but hell, she ain’t picking up the phone pussy whipping someone to bring her bon bons… no she drug her ass out in public and faced the judgement of you and others with her head up high, while he walks with his penis tucked between his legs to keep the peace…

Hopefully when he got home, after 3 more calls and 2 more trips back thru the store isles… she was all happy happy joy joy and he got a moments peace, after he brought in the groceries, she checked each item thoroughly to make sure they are perfect, he puts them away, while she text her friends… He cooks the dinner… does the dishes, puts the screaming 2 year old to bed… because she couldn’t do it… after all she is 8 months pregnant with the next one… which means his “chain” will be there for at least 20 more years… So he should just accept that he is fucked and that he has no life or man hood left, though in his mind he is wondering why he couldn’t have hooked up with one that just woud have “swallowed”!!!

Ciao… Sarah B

The True Definitian Of A GC!!!


Atrist Gregory Hergert

While chatting with a girlie friend of mine over a bottle of cheap white wine the other day, making fun of the the mullets that women still wear and simply asking each other “Why?”….Do they not own mirrors???    No honey, the wine we were drinking wasn’t Chablis… But we have been down that road a time or two in the past and have pinky swore over the toilet the next day that we would never take that trip together ever… no matter how fucking god damn dirt poor we are… get…stay… will be… LOL!!!  While, we are able to recognize that we were not in the most of upscale places… but instead a bit closer to the hood – ghetto – crack central, whatever your neighborhood calls it, where they sell cheap ass white, red or worst yet pink wine.. Honey, we aren’t that proud…   We consider ourselves “Thrifty” spenders… maximizing our dollars!!!

We now have begun to notice of what we call several G. C.’s sitting amongst us while on our upscale night out…  G.C.’s???  You ask what is that???  Come on Muffin… you gotta know what a G.C. is… don’t you???  Really,  I mean, who doesn’t???  What could G.C. possibly stand for???  Oh please… get over yourselves… you simply aren’t that high up the ladder to think it is something nice… I mean, really get over your wide ass load self…  Everyone has a definition of what G.C. stands for… Now, in our case a G.C. stands for the following…

Ghetto Cracker…  “Our definition”  is a white, wide ass,  mullet wearing, 80’s hair with poofy bangs, blue eye shadow, pouring herself into a pair wranglers with what I like to call a super “double muffin top”… one above her belt.. and one that is stacked on top of her real set of boobs… ( god I hope those are real, cuz they are scaring the hell outta me and any kids around!!! )  You know the ones, they pop out the top of the bra she should have thrown away 3 cup sizes ago or should I say, 3 kids ago, but she holds onto as it is the only way she is able to keep those “puppies” remaining pointers and not setters… that is a Ghetto Cracker…  Now G.C. can mean a few other things… let’s say…

Good Christian… please do you really want me of all people to give you the “Sarah B” view of a Good Christian… OK, you asked for it… and here is goes…  The same lame ass Ghetto Cracker listed above who is hung over on Sunday mornings after picking up her multiple children from multiple fathers at the all night baby sitter…. oh please, let not forget to add multiple races… (gotta keep it in the hood, bario, crack central)  She chugs a few cups of yesterday’s cold coffee, lights a few smokes… (ooh!!!)   Wipes off last nights make up and put on a jean skirt and boots and drags her wide ass load and 3 chicklets to church for 3 hours Sunday morning… 1 day a week… give or take a few extra trips on holidays… that is my definition of a “Good Chetto Christian Cracker”…  Now we could expand and say G.C. stood for the following…  Got Child???  Here is the meaning…  Mullet man is hitting on mullet woman in a western bar and wants to get some action that night… but is wondering if she’s “Got Child or Got Children” at home or is he going to have to bring her to his mom’s house to do his wild monkey love dance…   (ooohhh!!! YUCK!!!)  OR… it could mean or should I say silently whisper… Got Child!!!   So, mullet woman is on the hunt for a mate for the next few months…  Welfare isn’t quite making the bills… so, she is on the prowl and needs to weed out the weak and the smart… she seeks the longest mullet with the most empty cans of beer in front of him… cozies her big ole double muffins up to him and catches his eyes… then whispers a few things in his ear…  she is fully aware he is wanting some big yummy muffins for breakfast… so she silently mouths… I Got Child!!!… He doesn’t run…cuz he can’t get his eyes out of her muffins cups… and  baby cakes, those beers make damn fucking great goggles…  so they hop into his firebird and now the rent is paid for a few months…

Now.. G.C. could also mean… “Gonad Crusher”… I love this term… because after our “Ghetto Good Christian Cracker” that’s “Got Child” ( multiple!!!)  is done, used up and movinng on from her mullet man… cuz all his money is gone and his firebird is in need of  a new ashtray; the right side sits just a ad bit bit lower… So she is about to become theMaster “Gonad Crusher” and move on to the next unsuspecting mullet man and maybe try to move up the food chain a bit, find herself someone who drinks from a bottle instead of a can and drives a thunderbird – shit at least he won’t be drinking it sugar… After all of that, her rent will be taken care of for a few more months while the 4th baby from the last mullet head is incubating… away… Ahh… gotta love those G.C. women… don’t ya… Hell No!!!

Keep them as far away fromme and honey, you should stay the hell away from all G.C.s… OR… you know what you will be doing the next 18 or so years…paying for it…and baby, there ain’t no box lunch that good…beer goggles or not…

Ciao Bella…. Sarah.. B

 Artist Gregory Hergert

It Soothes… It Heals… It Protects!!!


 

It Soothes, It Heals, It Protects!!!  It warms you up at night, it take the chill out of your bones…  It has the capability to brighten your day at it’s worse moment, it can make you forget about the asshole that just cut you off on the freeway in his super spendy car with the all-knowing, telling look at me emblem blazing on the front of the hood screaming… look at me… look at me…. I am driving my penis compensator…  It has the ability to make you more friendly and will bring a smile to your face quicker than anything else…  If it has the potential to do all of these things, then why on earth is it so difficult to come by????  It’s like pulling freaking teeth…  Like going to a dreaded Dentist appointment, far worse than a night over at your in-laws and worse yet time with your ex…  Hell for some of us we would prefer to have dinner with our worst enemy or our most recent ex lover… or morning gasp and wake up in sheer panic call… as we roll over to see we are not alone…

One thing for sure is that we will go out of our way to avoid it, to give  in and to act on upon it….  We suck allot…  I know I do and I don’t mean in a way that can make my other half smile and bargain with you for next round…   but we really suck, we are cold, self-absorbed and our vision continues to become more and more tunneled…  to the point where we can barely see 3 feet in front of us…  We lose all our peripheral vision…  worst of all, we do this on purpose…  We choose this route and we have chosen to be loners on an island, alone at work or  in the coffee line, we will not say bless you when some one sneezes, only we turn a deaf ear and pretend not to hear… Instead we will make feigned attempts to help someone in front of us that falls or drops something, only to delay long enough for them to pick up themselves… all with a phony smile of sincerity on our faces… We take our time so as not really have to act out and follow through or extend ourselves…

What could or would Sooth, Heal and Protect and warm you to the very core of yourself…  It is several very simple answers… It would be to see or give a genuine smile, to say thank you and really mean it, to give up your seat so someone older and more tired can take your seat,  to allow someone who has one item in the grocery line while you have 20 to go ahead of you…  When someone is short for their cup of coffee in front of you to offer to pick up the difference or better yet the tab… to pay for the coffee behind you in the drive thru…  To take time to stop and help someone up…   Or to give to someone in need and not judge them or expect anything in return…   We are all guilty of the things that make us suck…   Me included…  I am terrible about judging people by their hair, clothes, the car they drive… I am notorious for judging them more if they dress nicer or drive nicer vehicles or if they have nice jewelry than if they do not….  It is  certainly not an intentional thing most of us do, it is just simply something we are programmed to do from birth… to judge and to feel superior…  when in fact, we are truly equal…

Today, I shall  make a sincere attempt to tuck away my crassness and my satire, I will keep my grinch and bitchy katty  comments to myself and focus on my day ahead and what good things I need to accomplish and how I will do this…  For tomorrow… I can make no promises…   I may have a shitty day and some asshole in fancy car with a nice fancy emblem and slicked back hair may cut me off on my way to my meetings and tomorrows comments may be totally different… after all.. .we are programmed to also let our immediate reactions effect our moods… can you guess what kind of day I had?

Ciao Sunshine…  don’t do anything I wouldn’t do or at least get caught at…   cuz this is really all just a line of bullshit baby…  Did you buy into it???

Sarah B

Artist Gregory Hergert