Look Up!!! Scape-Goat Above…


So, the other day, I was standing in line at the grocery store and this person in front of me was just going on and on to someone she had drug to the store with her.  This shall we say, Princess?  Was going on and on to her friend about how she made sure to get back at her loser boyfriend…. by fucking around with her neighbor… I don’t mean F’ng around in such a way that she was messing with his head..well, I guess I do mean that in a way..  ooh!!  Well, anyway,  because this little wide load of a princess spoke so loud and apparently had a 4 pack a day of smoke habit based on her vocal cords… went on quite loudly and with her raspy voice about how her boyfriend deserved this.. and all the whys and ways!

While I can’t pass judgement on her reasons, cuz the guy did sound like a loser ( that she picked! )… but I wondered to myself  if she had looked a mirror at any point in time over the past few years.   Because the last time I checked, 1995, was gone and we are in a new decade of clothing, hair, make up and crude public display and talk were about as in style as 1981!  However, since the cahier was challenged this particular day…. and taking quite an long time.. I was forced to “overhear” this conversation.   What struck me as so fucking typical was the fact that after a while this conversation turned to what they had planned for Sunday.

Well, let’s see, after they each picked up their children from their ex husbands..  ( no issues there.. got my own share of ex’s )… but, best part… they were going out this evening partying the night away.. then picking up the children whom I imagine if girl children would have matching highlighted hair, feathered with big bangs… and if these children were boys… well they would have matching mullets… bu the very best part for me was what they planned for Sunday.. they had Church planned…   this of course let to who’s mini van they would take ( of course! ) and then more Church talk.. I happened to be the fortunate person to leave the store behind them – did I mention the part where they had a 12 pack of bud and some white zif wine?  You know, the kind that comes in a box?  Oh, I am digressing… seems I was parked next to these two wonderful women.. in a mini van… complete with the fish emblem on the back size.. ( should have been a whale emblem – oops… I know I am going to hell for that one.. good thing I don’ care or believe in ti! )

As I loaded my things into my car, I was struck with how typical these two women represented to me what a typical Church going person represented.  One who is according to the bible they profess to love… spends 6 1/2 days… doing everything that goes against the same values they have shoved down their throats that half day on Sunday.  My faovorite part of this group of people, is the fact that they seem to think they can do anything they want  6 1/2 days a week as they have a get out of jail card… a true scape goat who can never stand up for themselves…they have the imaginary God to forgive them…to accept them and to allow them to justify their actions..  Because after all, God will forgive them… while they fuck you every way they can, because as long as God forgives  them, they do not have to be accountable for anything they do.. ..They are covered Baby!  Better than any insurance policy they could buy.  They got God.

Well, I will pass.. I fuck up, got no one else to blame but myself and accept full responsibility.  I am a grown up and I don’t need a God to bail my sorry ass out when I mess up, only own up to it and accept what I have done and hope I can survive the humility to learn on my own and make my next mistakes.. there ain’t no flipping God, just a scapegoat for Sheep’s and Losers!

That is Sarah B’s take on it….Ciao Baby…  Sarah B,

The True Definitian Of A GC!!!


Atrist Gregory Hergert

While chatting with a girlie friend of mine over a bottle of cheap white wine the other day, making fun of the the mullets that women still wear and simply asking each other “Why?”….Do they not own mirrors???    No honey, the wine we were drinking wasn’t Chablis… But we have been down that road a time or two in the past and have pinky swore over the toilet the next day that we would never take that trip together ever… no matter how fucking god damn dirt poor we are… get…stay… will be… LOL!!!  While, we are able to recognize that we were not in the most of upscale places… but instead a bit closer to the hood – ghetto – crack central, whatever your neighborhood calls it, where they sell cheap ass white, red or worst yet pink wine.. Honey, we aren’t that proud…   We consider ourselves “Thrifty” spenders… maximizing our dollars!!!

We now have begun to notice of what we call several G. C.’s sitting amongst us while on our upscale night out…  G.C.’s???  You ask what is that???  Come on Muffin… you gotta know what a G.C. is… don’t you???  Really,  I mean, who doesn’t???  What could G.C. possibly stand for???  Oh please… get over yourselves… you simply aren’t that high up the ladder to think it is something nice… I mean, really get over your wide ass load self…  Everyone has a definition of what G.C. stands for… Now, in our case a G.C. stands for the following…

Ghetto Cracker…  “Our definition”  is a white, wide ass,  mullet wearing, 80’s hair with poofy bangs, blue eye shadow, pouring herself into a pair wranglers with what I like to call a super “double muffin top”… one above her belt.. and one that is stacked on top of her real set of boobs… ( god I hope those are real, cuz they are scaring the hell outta me and any kids around!!! )  You know the ones, they pop out the top of the bra she should have thrown away 3 cup sizes ago or should I say, 3 kids ago, but she holds onto as it is the only way she is able to keep those “puppies” remaining pointers and not setters… that is a Ghetto Cracker…  Now G.C. can mean a few other things… let’s say…

Good Christian… please do you really want me of all people to give you the “Sarah B” view of a Good Christian… OK, you asked for it… and here is goes…  The same lame ass Ghetto Cracker listed above who is hung over on Sunday mornings after picking up her multiple children from multiple fathers at the all night baby sitter…. oh please, let not forget to add multiple races… (gotta keep it in the hood, bario, crack central)  She chugs a few cups of yesterday’s cold coffee, lights a few smokes… (ooh!!!)   Wipes off last nights make up and put on a jean skirt and boots and drags her wide ass load and 3 chicklets to church for 3 hours Sunday morning… 1 day a week… give or take a few extra trips on holidays… that is my definition of a “Good Chetto Christian Cracker”…  Now we could expand and say G.C. stood for the following…  Got Child???  Here is the meaning…  Mullet man is hitting on mullet woman in a western bar and wants to get some action that night… but is wondering if she’s “Got Child or Got Children” at home or is he going to have to bring her to his mom’s house to do his wild monkey love dance…   (ooohhh!!! YUCK!!!)  OR… it could mean or should I say silently whisper… Got Child!!!   So, mullet woman is on the hunt for a mate for the next few months…  Welfare isn’t quite making the bills… so, she is on the prowl and needs to weed out the weak and the smart… she seeks the longest mullet with the most empty cans of beer in front of him… cozies her big ole double muffins up to him and catches his eyes… then whispers a few things in his ear…  she is fully aware he is wanting some big yummy muffins for breakfast… so she silently mouths… I Got Child!!!… He doesn’t run…cuz he can’t get his eyes out of her muffins cups… and  baby cakes, those beers make damn fucking great goggles…  so they hop into his firebird and now the rent is paid for a few months…

Now.. G.C. could also mean… “Gonad Crusher”… I love this term… because after our “Ghetto Good Christian Cracker” that’s “Got Child” ( multiple!!!)  is done, used up and movinng on from her mullet man… cuz all his money is gone and his firebird is in need of  a new ashtray; the right side sits just a ad bit bit lower… So she is about to become theMaster “Gonad Crusher” and move on to the next unsuspecting mullet man and maybe try to move up the food chain a bit, find herself someone who drinks from a bottle instead of a can and drives a thunderbird – shit at least he won’t be drinking it sugar… After all of that, her rent will be taken care of for a few more months while the 4th baby from the last mullet head is incubating… away… Ahh… gotta love those G.C. women… don’t ya… Hell No!!!

Keep them as far away fromme and honey, you should stay the hell away from all G.C.s… OR… you know what you will be doing the next 18 or so years…paying for it…and baby, there ain’t no box lunch that good…beer goggles or not…

Ciao Bella…. Sarah.. B

 Artist Gregory Hergert

Are You The Kat’s Meow…


Are you the Kat’s Meow…OR are you Something the Kat drug in…  Do you like to get your Kitty scratched or do you prefer to scratch the Kitty and make it purr…  Hopefully when you are scratching the kitty, you aren’t throwing Kitty Litter everywhere and making a mess… A big mess that is left for the rest of us to scoop up and put back together…

I am all in favor of the purr that comes from scratching the Kitty, but I am not in favor of the aftermath that can come when you scratch the Kitty carelessly and selfishly… The aftermath left in the wake of careless scratching can be devastating on so many levels…

We have the emotional baggage that we are left to deal with when we realize our the Kitty has been used for nothing more than someone else’s selfish needs and no thought or care of the person who is emotionally invested in this cat box that you are playing in and the damage that can be caused in the aftermath… That baggage sucks… but maybe not as good as it did when they were getting their Kitty scratched… meow…

The other more troubling affect it the not so fun talk of being “socially” responsible when you allow several to play in your Kitty Box…after all, you never know where the Tom Cat has been before he strayed over your direction attracted by your scent of cum hither and make me purr sound… One hopes you are not being a bit on the sly side and playing with multiple partners at once… This could lead to sharing of lots of things unintended to share… so… always remember they make kitty pan liners… and they should be used all the time if you are going to be an Alley Kat…

So Sarah Says… be a Kitty all you want, go get your Kitty scratched and purr like a bitch in heat… We all do… but be careful of whose you let play in your Kitty Box as you may end up with a lot of kitty litter in places you didn’t intend to and it may just be in your best interest to be spayed as well… Meow…

Ciao Bella,

A Wise Kitty Sarah B…

Whose Reality Are You Living???


Whose reality are you really living???  Is it theirs or is it yours…   Are you doing what they want you to do and or what they expect of you???  Are you being their bitch for the day,, the week and the month… are you getting ready to lower yourself to your knees right this very moment… have your already to strapped on the knee pads and are prepared to do what they want and expect of you and worse yet… assume you will do for them???

Have you sold yourself out to them, given up on who you are and handed over to them the keys to yourself such a long time ago that don’t remember how this came about and now they not only own you but also drive your ass too???  Do they service you regularly to keep you running smooth and efficient so you can be there at their beck ‘n call… Because you after all, you are their bitch…  Do they dangle things in front of you to remind you who owns you when you start to show signs of wanting to break the chains and escape???  Are those carrots in front of your eyes so yummy and nutritious that you stay…  Is it that you can’t imagine being without those carrots and you have long forgotten how to grow your own carrots???

Remember those carrots you once planted for yourself???  The ones you nurtured, cherished and savored nightly as you lay in bed planning your future…  dreaming of your future… planting the seeds you sowed for your future road to happiness… what is stopping you from taking your keys back and driving your own ass, owning your own ass… becoming free and breaking the chains… I bet if you laid down one night and replanted those seeds as you drifted off to sleep… and each night, you continued nurturing those seeds and eventually each night as they begun to sprout up… the carrots of those who think they own you, they would begin to taste bitter and as your continued to nurture your garden and begin to see the root of the carrot break the surface of the ground, their carrot would be full of acid and as you pull that carrot from the ground and brush off the dirt, you will feel the chains fall away from you and then you will feel the keys to yourself placed back in your own hands and at that time, no one would ever own your ass… you would be back in control of your life, passions, dreams and you would no longer have to strap on knee pads ever again…  Unless you want to do it for your own purpose and benefit…

Plant your seeds baby, plant them now… water them, nurture them and take control of your own life… and future…

Ciao Bella…  Sarah B…