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When Church Can Be An Unpleasant…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Ahh… I knew that would get your attention… didn’t it???  Such a hot topic to everyone and anyone that either does or does not embrace Religion…   When Church becomes a “dirty” word is due to both groups that lie on opposite sides of the topic…  The topic really isn’t Church per say… as it is Religion…  It is the different views and interpretations by individuals as well as a lack of acceptance that others can embrace an opinion or belief system that is different from theirs…  This is where the true nastiness of the topic originates from…  Not Church or Religion… but mostly about the arrogance and ignorance…  lack of compassion, understanding and acceptances toward others…  The superiority complex they feel above others…  They truly are insecure and must find acceptance in those who also share the same beliefs and insecurities… together as a group they become a flock of sheep, they draw upon the fears of their peers for strength and convictions…  ahh.. all in the name of god… their god, that is…

The pure arrogance that this group feels that they or shall I say their religion can be far superior to anyone  elses other than their own… is truly nothing more than pure ignorance, even more so than arrogance… though the two can often be easily confused…  This group believes they are “the top dogs” in the eyes of god and speak on a regular basis to him  daily…  of course… I am going to assume, they refer to their god as a him…  as it would be beyond their capacity to think that a book of stories rewritten over and over to conform (ahh.. how I detest that word)  to each Church or Religion…   One theme typically remains constant… their god… whom they spew upon the rest of us… their thoughts of the subject… is always a man… not that I personally give a shit if they follow a man or a woman… the common theme for me… is they are following something and that makes them followers… unable to think without being told… yet to have the comfort of their god to fall back on when they do step out of line with the others… they can always use the get outta jail free card above to forgive them for what they perceive to be as sins…. always living to please and ask for acceptance and forgiveness… hell honey, you might as well get a good blow job or a lickity split in the mean time… cuz god will forgive you till next week…

While I clearly do not hide my distaste in the actions of this group above. .. I do however accept openly that they can choose to believe what ever they want to, as it is their right and while I may openly trash that belief system… I do at the same time respect it… as it is their choice not mine… the group on the other side of the fence can be equally as damning… The non believers who profess that there is nothing spiritual in this world and scream that they will not participate in a Church or Religion… They wear their badge of non god as predominately as those listed above…  What I must question is… Is that, this group of non believers,  to me  they seem at times to be as fucking ignorant and arrogant as the sheep of god above…  This group, is so proud to not believe in anything that they too have become over zealous with their beliefs and must feel the need to debate the topic whenever they hear the word Church or Religion…  to shove down the throat of the believers why they are far superior that the believers for following their god… Does this not make the Non Believer the same as the Believers???  Do they not belong to a special peer group???  May they be considered the “Black Sheep” of society, family or friends… but does that not also make them a pack of sheep… following a belief system… one not of religion but instead deeply rooted in the belief of non religion and the non-existence of god… are they not also spewing the same thing… just from a different platform???  Seems to me they are their own religion… Baaa…Baaa… Black Sheep…

I guess I can close this out with my own views… you have the option to not care, listen or agree… as it is the same stance I take when I hear yours… the one thing I do not want to do… is to shove my thoughts down your throat and I ask the same of you… I feel that the world is a large place… and all people “are” created equal…Sorry to burst your bubble there baby… We are all have our own vices, flaws and hiccups… it is the life experiences that make us whom we are… our minds are strong powerful tools that can make us or break us… I believe the world needs sheep and both types ….in addition,  the world needs free thinkers whom are able to make  choices of their own minds… you can not escape the impact of religion no matter where you look… I believe everyone has the right to believe what they want, to be who they are, want to be and can be and should not let religion or others stop them from being who they truly should be… you should not pass judgment on those who are different or have different beliefs… If we all followed the same flock of crap… what a boring world this would be…  Those are SarahsViews on Church… it is a dirty word…  and while I enjoy making fun of life… and what I see… I do think… we need all types in this world to make it work… and beside…if we didn’t, where the hell would I get my topics from… You kittens???

Ciao Bella… a non PC Sarah B…

If I Only Had Balls… Wait, I Do…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


My balls of fire...

My balls of fire…

If I Only Had Balls… Wait, I Do… They were yours!!!  You left them in the middle of our conversation…right there, on the floor, as scurried out of the room in the middle of a slightly challenging conversation… yup, you turned and you bolted… like a flash of lightening… boom… you were gone and on the floor in the dust were your balls…oh… I meant to say, my balls…

Oh yeah, that’s right, you dropped, you ran and so guess what… I took…  they are now mine…  I think I shall hang them from my rear view mirror so every time I am in the car, I can be reminded that I have big balls… bigger than yours, wait, that’s right, they are yours… but guess what, they are mine…  In fact, all my female friends have a set just like these hanging from their rear view mirrors, a few of them use them for a key chain… yup… that’s right, balls on chain…

No take backs allowed, you left them up for grabs and now they are mine… once I give them a great work out and show them how they are really to be used and what they are capable of and their full potential…and not left on the side lines…then perhaps I will return them… if you think you can finally use them… and better yet, know what to do with them… till then… I will take are of business…

Ciao Bella…

Sarah…

Ball Buster

Ball Buster

Sheep in Wolves Clothing…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Sheep on Wolves Clothing…

Stepford Sheep or Stepford Wolves, they are all… Stepford People… Truly they are all just one in the same… Individuals who want to have the appearance of a perfect life, marriage, job and looks… They eagerly follow the leader of the Perfect Pack… as none of them want to think for themselves and be separated from the pack…  They yearn to be just like everyone else, think like everyone else and look like everyone else…  Wanting only to be perfect and more importantly they want you to be just as perfect and to join their herd…

You see them everywhere you look and they are all around you; they are milling about, fixing their hair, straightening their ties, shifting their skirts and checking any mirror they pass to make sure they are still just as perfect…  They may look perfect, however you can see right past and through them… not even catching your attention… They so much want to just be noticed by you and others, to just stand out amongst everyone else around them, however, sadly, they only simply just blend in with the back ground that surround them… There is nothing about them that is special at all… Too bad, so sad, all that money, all that following, all that perfectness, beauty and status and yet they really are just only a bunch of  nothings…

It never ceases to amaze me how important it is for this group of individuals to be noticed and to stand out above of the rest of us while forming their own secret sect;  I am all too shocked at the needs of this group to be recognized, to be something they are not and more so, can and never will be…  Who are these people and why are they are here?  What insecurity was instilled into them to create this need to be perfect…  Is it so important to be like everyone else?  To look like everyone else?  To dress like everyone else?   Must they all drive the same cars, live in houses that they only to tell them apart, in their gated communities, is simply by the numbers on the fronts of their homes…  As nothing else sets them apart, the last thing they want is to be the black sheep of the flock…  How horrible that would be…  Being the Black Sheep to this group would cause one to ostracized and shunned forever… this group can not sustain itself with those who seek individuality, as this group works diligently at squashing and shunning the dreamers and seekers of what else is out there besides a life of conformity…

If being someone who is  seeking to learn more about life, dreams and possibilities of what one can do, means you are a non conformist to the Perfects Sect and that you will be shunned, then I shall take a pass at the “Stepford Lies Club” and instead continue moving towards being my own individual and follow my own lead and no one else s… as I am not nor would I ever want be a part of the Perfect Pack…  wolves or sheep’s, all the same and I will take a pass on this group, sect and herd… I would prefer to be a Baa Baa Black Sheep Baby…

Ciao Bella… Sarah B…

Woke up this morning with clarity…

Happy Birthday To Me… Happy Birthday To Me???

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Joy oh Joy… the joyous gifts that we as women are given on our birthdays…  You know what birthday I mean, correct, the one that start the next cycle of our lives… oh what a fun journey this next cycle will be… Humph!!!

I guess using the term, gift and cycle in the same paragraph is miss leading, on this birthday, my cycle decided to give me a little more than normal, it decided to hang around awhile, hmmm, I muttered to myself… well that is odd, haven’t had this issue before, in the back of my mind, I was in denial as to what this could potentially mean, perhaps, I am just having an odd month, you know, lots of stress, maybe not enough exercise or better yet, I decided it was from not enough sex… determining this to be the case, I made mental note to attack my other half upon the moment he entered the door when he came home…  that would fix this extra birthday gift and make it go away…

After repeatedly using this approach, one evening, while dozing, I began to notice that the room had become extremely…shall we say… a freaking blazing inferno….oh my freaking god… Please get this sea of blankets off of me know… I struggle to get my leg out of the blanket all while managing to piss off our cat at the foot of the bed, begrudgingly, he spat at me, showing me his annoyance and he moved over to my husbands side of the bed, what the hell…  did we leave the heat on ultra high before going to bed earlier, I struggled to remember, no, I know we didn’t, wow…one let out is not going to do the trick, I wondered what I was thinking when I wore a tee shirt and sleeping bottoms, they were now stuck to me, a bit damp I was… second leg out… what is that trickling between my breast is that water???  Did the cat piss on me because I woke him up… now struggling to fully waken myself, I see the fur ball snuggled close to my husband, he has not pissed on me, why am I wet???  Crap… I am freaking burning up, my hair is damp… I toss all the covers fully off of me, throwing them onto my husband, I am sure I have fever and to have one this high, I must be close to death… surely there is no other reason to be this warm…  do I have food poisoning???  Why am I sweating…   crap… I began to realize I am cold… damn, give me those covers back and I want them now… I grab them off my husband and take a few of his at the same time… I prepare myself for a bad case of the flue tomorrow morning, because I know to have this type of fever, means that I will be hugging the porcelain bowl and not want to be far from it, I am sure of this…  I doze and go back to a sound sleep, when I wake, I am fine, other than when I went to bed, I had straight hair and in my rage of sweat, I must have gotten my hair wet and it is now curly and fuzzy… nice, what a beauty I am as I look in the mirror…  funny though I don’t feel sick…

It was 3 nights later, I repeated this pattern and after a few more weeks of the on and off switch with my body’s thermostat, I began to self diagnose, because somewhere in the back of my mind…  a little voice was saying… you know, that was a very significant number you just hit on your birthday… right???

About 2 months later as I was at work, I was talking to a co worker, while sitting at my desk, I began to notice that I was starting to get hot, the hair on the back of my neck felt like a heavy wool coat!!!  I looked at my co worker as I began to feel like perspiration on my upper lip… I asked him the only thing I could think of… is it HOT in here…. Or it is just me???  He looks at me and says nope, it is actually a bit cool in here today… Damn… I was so afraid that is what he would say…  shall we say going forward, for the next 2 months, I learned to dress in layers in the dead of winter and a pony tail became my hair style of choice, I began to understand why so many women as they got older chose short  hair…   I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe I could possibly, you know.. Me entering.. that M stage of my life…  This would require research…

With Google as a girl’s best friend and my husband asleep, I crept to our home office and plugged in the M word in search bar… I read all about it, when it starts, what the symptoms were.. fuck.. I had almost all of them… denial has been my friend, years of taking care of my body, eating healthy, exercising… and it has betrayed me… damn body, in my mind that meant I could betray it back… I lay in bed, partially covered prepared for the heat wave, one leg out, our cat had learned it was safer to sleep next to my husband than potentially risk being kicked awake every few nights… I decided I would sleep on it…

In the morning, I went to the health food store and bought all the natural remedies I could find… after 3 weeks, I realized I had just simply donated hard earned money and still continued to dress in layers and had now resorted to 2 fans on the side of my bed… it became all too clear… it was time to see a DR… it had been a few years, kids were grown.. life was full, so hadn’t taken the time to visit the lay down and spread em doctor…

When I called to make an appointment, I found she had moved to a new state… they said they would set me up with a new DR, a male doctor… I said no thank you, I didn’t want to explain this man… how would he understand…  So, I did the next best thing.. I went to my girlfriend, who was a few years older than myself…  I met her for wine and we talked and I explained the past several months’ events and she was all to sympathetic, letting me know that her time has started a few years ago.. she had opted for the natural way though and could not refer me to a doctor… was she fucking nuts… who would opt for natural when after I realized my natural approach didn’t work, I had crept back to the office one night and with google as my friend and no longer in denial, I searched.. .menopause and how the fuck to make the symptoms go away…

She offered to ask several of her girlfriends for a referral for me… I thanked her and we finished our girls catch up time and wine and we headed our separate ways for the evening… As I got to the work the next morning, I turned on my computer and went to check my email and true to form, my friend had sent out an email that read…  My first and last name has started having hot flashes and is looking for a gynecologist can anyone refer her to one… now everyone knew… I didn’t know to say… so I closed my email… put my hair in a ponytail, removed my first layer… and went to work.. at lunch I opened back up my email and there we numerous emails from friends of our age group that had replied with referrals and shared stories of misery that made me laugh… seems I was not alone in this and that I had entered a new cycle of my life with this birthday that brought me to a new sisterhood, an odd way to bond, but a nice way to start a new chapter… next week, I shall meet my new DR that is referred by many of the women on the email chain and if this DR knows what is good for her and she wants to leave the office in one piece, I will leave her office with a prescription to make me go back to normal…  Happy Birthday to me…

Ciao Bella… a Pissed Off Sarah…

Interesting Quotes And Their True Meanings…

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything…  Sarah says… boy does that bitch really does have everything, come on sister.. she’s got a play house, a Barbie mobile and best of all  a Ken dude that is made of plastic and hard, that she controls… and wow… I guess she does have everything, except batteries to keep Ken going…

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always…  Sarah says… Oh Baby cakes… Really, you didn’t know her first name was Ms.. not Miss Always… cuz now your ass is married and that makes your first name… Yes Dear…

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell…  Sarah say… Uh, really?  Do you think… what was your first clue???  Your day at the office???

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company…  Sarah says… well where do you wanna be… in the sunshine with you know… those types… or in the heat with your friends, sipping cocktails by the pool…watching the pool boy… who you know… screwed up too and ended up here servicing you… tough choice… but I a prone to the heat…

Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!  Sarah says…  well she doesn’t want to step on toes… but come on… does it get any clearer that statement… and who is the Pope and exactly what does he does for a living… not quite sure on that and why has he never had sex???

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me…  Sarah says… LOL.. the true definition of religion… better to ask for forgiveness than permission…

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.  Sarah says… And your point??

He is a self-made man and worships his creator…  Sarah says.. Hey dude.. why does it need to be all about man and his creator… you self righteous bastard… don’t you know we made you… or I guess the correct term is own you…

When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.  Sarah says… put em on sister, you lame whiny ass bitches are giving the rest of us a bad name, so shut, buck up and do the job like the rest of us…

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.   Did Sarah here the words I do in this statement???

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants… Sarah says, Italian food is the best she has ever had… yum yum…

The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps.  Sarah says… no comment because common sense and not politics tells you this is a true statement and leave it at that…  because one thing Sarah has learned… is common sense really doesn’t matter…

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.   Sarah says… WTF… have you been listening to my phone calls lately???

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.  Sarah says… What???

Today is the last day of some of your life.   Sarah says… Wow… Really, that is the best you can come up with… dumb ass…

Ciao Bella… bite me… Sarah…

Is The Peri Fairy Heading Your Way???

Posted on by Robin Weirich


Just entering the latter part of my 40’s, I have begun to enter that newest phase of being a female.  My doctor calls this new phase “peri-menopausal”…  I don’t really know what “peri” means as a medical term, but in real life terms “peri” means… aggravating, bothersome, annoying, troublesome, vexing…I.E.: ”Fucking-pain-in-the-god–damn- ass”-pre-menopausal.

So let’s talk real… I’ve been having a period since I was 11.  Yes…early bloomer in so many wrong ways….  WTF ever…  So, for over 30 years, it’s been an inconvenient, yet predictable part of my life.  3-1/2 weeks go by, I get cramps for a day, bleed for 4 or 5 , and it’s a done deal for another 3-1/2 weeks.  But a couple years ago, things started changing a bit.  First, I started to decrease to just 3 or 4.  It continued to dwindle over the next few months until I was down to just over 2 days.  Woo-Hoo!!!  Who wouldn’t like that???  Eventually I was left with a day of cramps but no period to follow.  Not my favorite, but the no muss-no fuss aspect has its appeal.  Finally one day I was at the grocery store, passing by the tampon display, and realized I hadn’t restocked my supply in what seemed like a very long time…  Standing at the display, I counted backwards to the last time I’d needed them… Holy shit…it was nearly 6 months!!!

Free at last – Free at last!  Fuck you Playtex & your God-damn labia pinching super-glide applicator!!!  They never once were a super glide… Fuck you Kotex & your God-damn pube pulling self-sticking panty shields!!!  And Fuck you OB & your God-damn strings that wick bodily fluids into the wearer’s underwear without absorbing a fucking drop!  I was a happy woman… I giggled and danced a little jig right there in the aisle…  causing the young man standing close by to move quickly away from me…  OMG…within a week, I had a freaking period…  NOT one of those 1 or 2 day MF’s either.  Apparently my uterus had not stopped doing its thing, just simply saving for a rainy day….  I had 3 days of cramps and 6 months worth of period over about a 9 day time span…   Mother Nature can be such a raving bitch…  Moving forward, I vowed a couple of things… I will only pass the feminine hygiene display if I need feminine hygiene products,  I will approach those product displays with only the deepest reverence and utmost respect…  Also, I will never again curse feminine hygiene product makers in public or private as I had learned my lesson…

Now for the past 6 months I’ve honored my vows, avoided the tampon aisle, been respectful etc. and my menstrual life has once again returned to uneventful.  The dwindling process resume and I went back to having periods that are sporadic, short-lived and sparse…   Life is good…but then I forgot… Shit!!!  While grocery shopping…  I must first point out and ask what genius’s idea it was to arrange the feminine hygiene products on the same aisle as coffee or deeply desired espresso… which for me, is a requirement of life as important to air and wine…  I decided it was silly of me to go all the way around the hygiene product aisle to get to the other end to get coffee, so I cut through… Dumb Ass…  Seeing the tampon & maxipad boxes all lined up, I again realized it had been some length of time since I’d needed to re-supply…  Outwardly I remained respectful & polite, inwardly, I must admit I had just the teensiest of  Ha Ha… moment…  That was all it took… you idiot!!!

The next day, Monday, I was sitting at my desk talking on the phone when, with absolutely no warning, I felt something go bluuurrp…you know…down there.  I knew immediately this was not good…  I finished the phone call and headed to the rest-room squeezing my you know what shut…  Oh My God!!!  It was bad…it was really really bad…  It looked like someone had bled a sacrificial goat into my underwear…  Was I wearing light-colored pants???  Did I even have to ask???  They were khakis of course…   Had it bled through my underwear into my pants???  Hello…of course!!!  Badly I wondered… Not too bad from the volume/area/stain size standpoint, however from a placement/location standpoint, it was fucking stellar…  Somehow, because of the way I was sitting, because of the way my pants fit, or because I fucking pissed off the Period Goddess again, I had managed to channel the flow forward so it made a big red blotch right at the base of my pant fly… It was only 10:00 am…

I cleaned up as best I could, & went looking in the bathroom cupboard for the supplies to catch any further leakage.  In the past, I always kept a small stash of tampons at work.  However it hasn’t been all that necessary for quite some time now, and I didn’t have anything…  Fortunately, one of my lovely 20-something year-old co-workers had a box of panty shields in the cupboard.  It was an emergency and I figured I could replace them later, so I opened her box, and learned a new thing…  Did you know they make panty shields for THONGS???  They’re normal width in the front, and taper to string width in the back…with wings…  Who knew and most importantly….WHY???  How fucking useless is that???  Being desperate, I made do…  I laid the first one in, front to back & then the second one, back to front so that together, they almost made one whole.  I made it through the rest of the morning by staying at my desk, or carrying papers, and file-folders in front of me.

At lunch, I zipped home where I scrubbed the spot from the crotch of my pants, and threw them in the dryer to dry.  Unfortunately…“the thong panty liners” didn’t stick very well to my “non-thong panties”…   Instead, they are curled, twisted and have attached themselves directly to my hairy lips… both right and left!!! Removing the liners gave me a free partial Brazilian job, as they ripped out thong shaped swaths of pubic hairs…  I took a quick shower and checked on my pants…  The stain had been transformed.  It was now a large ring around the whole crotch of my pants where they had been wetted when I scrubbed them.  I decided perhaps it was time for plan B…change pants, and just freaking deal if anybody asks why if they are stupid enough to not see the glaring eyes and flaring nostrils…

Night sweats, Insomnia, Hot Flashes, Moodiness, Irritability, Memory Lapses,  Brain-farts….all predicted, and all now accounted for. However, my friends, you left some stuff out.  Nobody bothered to tell me that walking down the tampon aisle at the grocery store will make your periods start. Nor did anyone say that after 30 plus years of practice in how to deal with having a period, that I’d suddenly become incompetent…  It makes me wonder what else was left out of the stories that I am yet to experience… it this some secret society you can only enter into thru trial by fire…well fuck you…  As for me, I am back to making sure I stay away from the feminine hygiene aisle, being respectful toward the patroness saints of the menses…  I’m hoping that will keep me relatively free of unpleasant surprises for the next bit-o-while.  I am passing this along for you 20 & 30 something’s so you have something to look forward too…

Ciao Bella… A Peri Sarah B…