New Years Flu… Did You Get It Too???


You so sick girl...

You so sick girl...

Well… here you are… the second week of the New Year that I sprinkled in Fairy dust for you and now look at you…  All coughing and hacking up a storm… missed 3 days of work so far to boot…. All because you have the New Years Flu…  Couldn’t keep your mouth to yourself that night now could you???

Had to go out and get all snazzied up in your finest of duds and baby, I really do mean “duds”… in case you are not sure what I am talking about, then perhaps you need to check out the latest Wally World email floating around in your inbox at work…. To see what I mean by duds… oh, wait that would require you to be at work, nope not you…and why aren’t you at work… cuz you are sick… you got it bad… you ache and feel like crap…

Well your dumb wide ass deserves it, yes it does, if you have not drank so many wine coolers that night, yanking your shirt up to show us your setters instead of pointers, all proud of those low riders…girl, where the hell was your bra that night by the way.???    Seems you were the one who wanted to climb on top of the table and dance the New Years in… and dance you did, till the leg cracked and we caught you on the way down… which reminds me, you owe someone a thank you for being there to break your fall…ouch!!!

If you hadn’t from 11:30 – midnight proceeded to work the room, bouncing up and down, swinging too and fro… going from one person to the other… giving them the option of being flashed or kissed… who would have thought a girl could get so many kisses in one night… not that you should take that as a compliment…. Well there you have it, now you are sick with the New Years Eve flu… from all the closeness with 28 of your newest best friends… who passed along some New Years Eve cheer to you as well… now you are in the hole from missing work and your dignity gone till the Valentine party you throw all the single people including yourself…

Well Sarah’s suggestion for that event is to not invite her and to try the Brown Bottle Flu instead… nice way to start the New Year off….

 

Ciao,

A catty Sarah B just because she can…

Sarahs Back...

Sarahs Back...

 

 

Are You Ready…It’s Almost Here…Tick Tock…Tick Tock…


Tick Tock… Tick Tock… Can you feel it???  Can you hear it???   Did you survive the violence of Black Friday???  No cap in your ass, no one stepped over you to get the best bargain as you gasped your last breath at Target???  Were you mugged leaving WalMart at 1 am with your X-box???….If you are reading then then you must be ready to run the other way as fast as you can???  Back to June, May or March???  Anything but the fucking looming “Holiday Season” that over the past few decades have started the “shoving down your throat or up your ass”  a day earlier every year…  This year it started on November 1st… .but the stores were beaming with pride mid October with Holiday decorations… Christmas candy out at the same time as Halloween….

In fact, I am not even sure they waited till midnight on Halloween to start the ads on TV… the relentless, shameless ads promoting that the only way to have a great Holiday or to be a great Parent, Spouse etc… was to “spend…spend and oh yeah baby… spend”!!!   Hell honey, someone’s gotta do it for this upcoming Holiday Season and do their freaking part to save the economy….LOL!!! … Bullshit!!!  Media hype and propaganda telling us… programming us to do what they want us to do… not what we should really do…  Last time I checked… Holidays had nothing to do with spending or shopping…

How many days left?  I can’t remember if we even had Thanks Giving yet or not???  Oh yes we did, while eating a rushed dinner, you scurried out the door leaving your Turkey carcass’s and left over pumpkin pie on the table so you could grab your ads and rush to stand in line for the midnight madness….. Well it seems the stores can’t remember that either…  so don’t feel bad and don’t feel bad about stepping over the man at Target either…

However…as you shop in the grocery store for your goodies… you can sing to “Deck the Halls”  Guess we shall just start by-passing the  Ole Turkey day Holiday and move straight into “Retail Hell”…  Oops, I meant to say Christmas…  Let’s talk Sweetie….You do remember Christmas don’t you…  I mean how can you ever forget???  It is shoved pretty much down our throats and up our asses from October 1st to December 25th… now some stores are even open on Christmas so you can truly feel that you that you will want to shoot yourself for standing in line for 7 hours in the freezing cold to get that what was supposed to be, the rock bottom price, on that item that you have heard non fucking stop about for months and months and that if you didn’t get it for them FOR Christmas morning or the world would come to an end and your guilt would eat you alive…  Dirty Bastards… and your sorry ass fell for it… “Sucker”…

Well, now, if you can wait till December 25th , you can find that item on sale for 25% less or possibly more had you just waited one more day baby…  Shit…that sounds like a great idea… Let’s have Christmas on December 27th…the day after you return everything you didn’t want and the other shit that didn’t sell that is now 75% off… they didn’t like what you gave them???  Too bad… you gotta great deal and they look stunning in Orange with Yellow stripes… oops… I have digressed… Now, back to today’s struggling wonderful economy and what I was talking about… that extra 25% savings  ( or 75% if we veto Christmas till the 27th, that would have paid for the dinner you are fixing for your family to arrive that will only stay long enough to give you the quick hug, kiss, your house looks great, not that they really give a shit… they are only interested in the tree and what is under it with their name on it…  Hello…  Look at all those presents under the tree, they want to know which ones are theirs???   Sure, let’s open now and “then” eat, because we know they all have other places to go to and other gifts to collect.. ungrateful bastards… however it is your own fault… you created the little and not so little monsters… now you must live or deal with them…  Ahh… finally they are gone, the house is totally destroyed, the food devoured and not a morsel for a mouse… the plates left in the sink, of course… the fireplace overflowing with boxes and paper to be burned and the cat is now hiding behind the once beautifully decorated tree,  due to the small children trying to stick a bow on top of his head… vile little creatures that they are… the children, not that cat!!!  The cat, now in retaliation for this event,  shall first cough up a large wet hairball on our pillow  of course then lift his tail and spray all over your tree and of course the string of lights within it’s reach…   Ahhh…the holidays… how soon they approach… Are you ready???   Tick Tock… Tick Tock… sounds kind of like an Alfred Hitchcock event coming up… maybe it is…

May you have your Valium, wine, JD or Vice of choice baby, close by to survive the next 12 miserable  guilt and pressure filled days to please everyone who will not remember the day after…

Ciao baby… Remember it isn’t about You… But what “everyone” expects from You!!!

Sarah B the Grinch

Whose Reality Are You Living???


Whose reality are you really living???  Is it theirs or is it yours…   Are you doing what they want you to do and or what they expect of you???  Are you being their bitch for the day,, the week and the month… are you getting ready to lower yourself to your knees right this very moment… have your already to strapped on the knee pads and are prepared to do what they want and expect of you and worse yet… assume you will do for them???

Have you sold yourself out to them, given up on who you are and handed over to them the keys to yourself such a long time ago that don’t remember how this came about and now they not only own you but also drive your ass too???  Do they service you regularly to keep you running smooth and efficient so you can be there at their beck ‘n call… Because you after all, you are their bitch…  Do they dangle things in front of you to remind you who owns you when you start to show signs of wanting to break the chains and escape???  Are those carrots in front of your eyes so yummy and nutritious that you stay…  Is it that you can’t imagine being without those carrots and you have long forgotten how to grow your own carrots???

Remember those carrots you once planted for yourself???  The ones you nurtured, cherished and savored nightly as you lay in bed planning your future…  dreaming of your future… planting the seeds you sowed for your future road to happiness… what is stopping you from taking your keys back and driving your own ass, owning your own ass… becoming free and breaking the chains… I bet if you laid down one night and replanted those seeds as you drifted off to sleep… and each night, you continued nurturing those seeds and eventually each night as they begun to sprout up… the carrots of those who think they own you, they would begin to taste bitter and as your continued to nurture your garden and begin to see the root of the carrot break the surface of the ground, their carrot would be full of acid and as you pull that carrot from the ground and brush off the dirt, you will feel the chains fall away from you and then you will feel the keys to yourself placed back in your own hands and at that time, no one would ever own your ass… you would be back in control of your life, passions, dreams and you would no longer have to strap on knee pads ever again…  Unless you want to do it for your own purpose and benefit…

Plant your seeds baby, plant them now… water them, nurture them and take control of your own life… and future…

Ciao Bella…  Sarah B…