Happy Birthday To Me… Happy Birthday To Me???


Joy oh Joy… the joyous gifts that we as women are given on our birthdays…  You know what birthday I mean, correct, the one that start the next cycle of our lives… oh what a fun journey this next cycle will be… Humph!!!

I guess using the term, gift and cycle in the same paragraph is miss leading, on this birthday, my cycle decided to give me a little more than normal, it decided to hang around awhile, hmmm, I muttered to myself… well that is odd, haven’t had this issue before, in the back of my mind, I was in denial as to what this could potentially mean, perhaps, I am just having an odd month, you know, lots of stress, maybe not enough exercise or better yet, I decided it was from not enough sex… determining this to be the case, I made mental note to attack my other half upon the moment he entered the door when he came home…  that would fix this extra birthday gift and make it go away…

After repeatedly using this approach, one evening, while dozing, I began to notice that the room had become extremely…shall we say… a freaking blazing inferno….oh my freaking god… Please get this sea of blankets off of me know… I struggle to get my leg out of the blanket all while managing to piss off our cat at the foot of the bed, begrudgingly, he spat at me, showing me his annoyance and he moved over to my husbands side of the bed, what the hell…  did we leave the heat on ultra high before going to bed earlier, I struggled to remember, no, I know we didn’t, wow…one let out is not going to do the trick, I wondered what I was thinking when I wore a tee shirt and sleeping bottoms, they were now stuck to me, a bit damp I was… second leg out… what is that trickling between my breast is that water???  Did the cat piss on me because I woke him up… now struggling to fully waken myself, I see the fur ball snuggled close to my husband, he has not pissed on me, why am I wet???  Crap… I am freaking burning up, my hair is damp… I toss all the covers fully off of me, throwing them onto my husband, I am sure I have fever and to have one this high, I must be close to death… surely there is no other reason to be this warm…  do I have food poisoning???  Why am I sweating…   crap… I began to realize I am cold… damn, give me those covers back and I want them now… I grab them off my husband and take a few of his at the same time… I prepare myself for a bad case of the flue tomorrow morning, because I know to have this type of fever, means that I will be hugging the porcelain bowl and not want to be far from it, I am sure of this…  I doze and go back to a sound sleep, when I wake, I am fine, other than when I went to bed, I had straight hair and in my rage of sweat, I must have gotten my hair wet and it is now curly and fuzzy… nice, what a beauty I am as I look in the mirror…  funny though I don’t feel sick…

It was 3 nights later, I repeated this pattern and after a few more weeks of the on and off switch with my body’s thermostat, I began to self diagnose, because somewhere in the back of my mind…  a little voice was saying… you know, that was a very significant number you just hit on your birthday… right???

About 2 months later as I was at work, I was talking to a co worker, while sitting at my desk, I began to notice that I was starting to get hot, the hair on the back of my neck felt like a heavy wool coat!!!  I looked at my co worker as I began to feel like perspiration on my upper lip… I asked him the only thing I could think of… is it HOT in here…. Or it is just me???  He looks at me and says nope, it is actually a bit cool in here today… Damn… I was so afraid that is what he would say…  shall we say going forward, for the next 2 months, I learned to dress in layers in the dead of winter and a pony tail became my hair style of choice, I began to understand why so many women as they got older chose short  hair…   I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe I could possibly, you know.. Me entering.. that M stage of my life…  This would require research…

With Google as a girl’s best friend and my husband asleep, I crept to our home office and plugged in the M word in search bar… I read all about it, when it starts, what the symptoms were.. fuck.. I had almost all of them… denial has been my friend, years of taking care of my body, eating healthy, exercising… and it has betrayed me… damn body, in my mind that meant I could betray it back… I lay in bed, partially covered prepared for the heat wave, one leg out, our cat had learned it was safer to sleep next to my husband than potentially risk being kicked awake every few nights… I decided I would sleep on it…

In the morning, I went to the health food store and bought all the natural remedies I could find… after 3 weeks, I realized I had just simply donated hard earned money and still continued to dress in layers and had now resorted to 2 fans on the side of my bed… it became all too clear… it was time to see a DR… it had been a few years, kids were grown.. life was full, so hadn’t taken the time to visit the lay down and spread em doctor…

When I called to make an appointment, I found she had moved to a new state… they said they would set me up with a new DR, a male doctor… I said no thank you, I didn’t want to explain this man… how would he understand…  So, I did the next best thing.. I went to my girlfriend, who was a few years older than myself…  I met her for wine and we talked and I explained the past several months’ events and she was all to sympathetic, letting me know that her time has started a few years ago.. she had opted for the natural way though and could not refer me to a doctor… was she fucking nuts… who would opt for natural when after I realized my natural approach didn’t work, I had crept back to the office one night and with google as my friend and no longer in denial, I searched.. .menopause and how the fuck to make the symptoms go away…

She offered to ask several of her girlfriends for a referral for me… I thanked her and we finished our girls catch up time and wine and we headed our separate ways for the evening… As I got to the work the next morning, I turned on my computer and went to check my email and true to form, my friend had sent out an email that read…  My first and last name has started having hot flashes and is looking for a gynecologist can anyone refer her to one… now everyone knew… I didn’t know to say… so I closed my email… put my hair in a ponytail, removed my first layer… and went to work.. at lunch I opened back up my email and there we numerous emails from friends of our age group that had replied with referrals and shared stories of misery that made me laugh… seems I was not alone in this and that I had entered a new cycle of my life with this birthday that brought me to a new sisterhood, an odd way to bond, but a nice way to start a new chapter… next week, I shall meet my new DR that is referred by many of the women on the email chain and if this DR knows what is good for her and she wants to leave the office in one piece, I will leave her office with a prescription to make me go back to normal…  Happy Birthday to me…

Ciao Bella… a Pissed Off Sarah…

Servicing The Customer…


Customer service or servicing the customer… what is the difference…. Well for starters, the customer is the reason why we get up, get our asses dressed and down some caffeine and aspirin all at the same time, look in the mirror… throw some paint on or comb the hair over the spot that seems to be growing on top and say to ourselves… It’s show time folks… with that over eager look of hope…

Upon starting your day and by your third customer, you begin to realize that you can give all the customer service you want… but it is apparent that the customers want more, they want you to give them customer service and pay them for you give it to them… in addition, perhaps you can shine their shoes, carry their purse while they shop, hell, they will just give you the list of what they want, ask you to pour them a drink of top shelf adult beverage, request you pay the tab for the drink and do their shopping while they put their feet up and rest a bit…

When all is done, they will write a scathing complaint letter to your boss about how you didn’t look them in the eye, didn’t smile quite enough times and offended them because the drink you bought for them, wasn’t as strong as they felt it should have been… or my favorite, too strong and they got a ticket driving home and expect you to pay…

Today, we are taught to give good customer service, but we as customers have forgot how to be good customers, with stores fighting for our market share we have become arrogant and rude, intolerant to the person who is attempting to help you while at the checkout counter, or answer your questions at customer service… we as customers, have become spoiled children like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory who wants it all now and doesn’t care who she yells at to get it… this is us… this is today’s customer…

When you shop today… who will you be… today’s customer or …

Ciao… Sarah B

 

Who are we today… Lisa Bright or Lisa Dark???


You just gotta fucking love the mood swings of the average person that you interact with on a day to day basis, don’t you???  I mean really, isn’t it fun to go to work one morning and meet Lisa Bright and within 30 fucking stupid ass minutes… the ugly head of Lisa Dark appears???  Have you ever met Lisa Dark???  As  overheard a 5 year old  saying the other day while trying to lift something… Jesus H…before I shut him down..  However, he hit it right on the fucking head….Christ all mighty!!!!   Lisa Dark is a fucking pain in the ass… to me and anyone within 100 yards of them.

Lisa Dark can be in the middle of a fairly normal conversation… event… whatever and go from a “Happy Happy – Joy Joy” person to a raging “dick” or “bitch” in zero to 5.5 seconds and without cause or provocation.. I hate Lisa Dark… I don’t mean that I truly hate this individual.. but I hate how this person can ruin your day, ruin your week, make you feel like shit and be so totally completely self absorbed in themselves that they are totally unaware of the path of destruction they have just caused with a callous cruel unthinking cold ass remark or remarks… Often they feel they are typically superior to you or anyone you may be talking about or working with… Lisa Dark needs some fucking Prozac, Zoloft, Valium or any mother F’ng thing to pull their totally self absorbed head ouf of their ass and come back to earth and realize they are NOT the only person in the world…and honeslty sometimes, they just aren’t that special….  Ouch!!   They are not the only people dealing with drama, finances or life… They need to realize they have not been singled out as this particular moment in time and I really don’t want to hear about what a martyr they are…  Lisa Dark needs to go back under the red rock they crawled out from..  So, I can take a larger rock, place it on top and not allow this dreadfully miserable person to come back…

I want to deal with Lisa Bright…  However people whom allow Lisa Dark to come out, they hate Lisa Bright or the Lisa Brights of the world.. they hate them with every ounce of their beings… because they themselves are miserable people..   Lisa Bright confuse them.. even when they themselves are basically Lisa Brights… they don’t know how to handle an upbeat person or group of people whom find the positive in life even when life is at it’s worst… they do not like this… it is not in-balance with their self imposed pity party…   Lisa Brights.. instead look for good, seek good and focus on the  good.. They want to surround themselves with good and will go out of their way to do good for whomever they can, including the Lisa Darks of the world…

Oh Lisa Darks… if I could say anything to you.. it would be to open your eyes… open them wide, before it is too late.. before you push everyone and everything away… Oh Lisa Dark… what makes you so unhappy… that when you have happiness, you push hard to push it away to the point of making you and everyone that is around you miserable…   Please… Please… Put Lisa Dark away… it is only eating away at you for no reason… put it BACK under the rock it crawled out from…  You are a good person and you deserve to be a Lisa Bright and to surround yourself with others who want happiness, positives and who want to enjoy life… do not let the succubus of Lisa Dark or the Lisa Darks of the world ruin you and everything around you.. Let the light shine in… It may be be bright and  it really isn’t that bad and if it is a bit tough at first; then put on some fucking sun glasses… and get the fuck over it… because the rest of sure as hell are….

Lisa Bright…come out ….come out… wherever you are… we are waiting…

Ciao Bella Sarah B….

Lisa Dark Baby