Sarahs Views on the World

Sunday is a Fun Day… So they say…


bad_cat_1a

Bad Cat by Greg HergerT

Sunday, a fun day???  Where are on earth did they come up with that idea… last time I checked, my Sunday is spent washing, cleaning, and running errands for ungrateful Furballs… Yes, those hairy, conniving, fingerless, mewing, theiving little Fat Furballs... that demand to be fed, petted and tons of food…  where on earth do these evil little creatures come from and how did I become their servant???

One day it was just me, with all the freedom to do whatever I wanted on any given Sunday, then one showed up, with her snaggletooth and muddy little fur, with big pitiful eyes, with a whisper soft meow that said… Please feed me… how could I resist… so feed her I did, her fur began to clean up, her pitiful eyes turn to love, when I would place food out for her, then one day she came in the house, then one night she took over the bed, leaving me half the bed to sleep on, but I didn’t mind, she needed a home…

winkie_2a (1)

Winkie Cat by Greg Hergert

Then one morning, there was another, he was young and a big ole scaredy cat… with a slight limp, he would run when I would place food out for him, then as I close the door he would run up and gobble it all down… 4 weeks later, he took over the couch when I turned on the TV forcing me to the chair… greedy little bastard… soon I was left with a quarter of the bed, one on each side squeezing me in middle… walking across me in the middle of the night to swap sides…

compassion_cat_1a

Compassion Cat by Greg Hergert

Yesterday, I noticed there was another on on the back porch… homeless I am sure of, due to her soulful mewing, lowered head and scruffy fur… I don’t know how long it will take for this one to take the remainder of the bed, but I guess I will just prepare to move to the spare room and leave these 3 loving, funny, demanding sweet peas to have the master suite as they do own the house and rule the kingdom and I am just a Furball servant…

Ciao…Sarah 

Salute_1a_web

Alien Salute by Greg Hergert

Ali

Girls and their moods…


noodge goddess 1a

Reflecting… or picking…

embrasure nude 1a

Tied Up In Knots…

sprout2 1a

Annoyed… Again…

nn

Perplexed… or Perplexing…

Olga 2a

Thinking…

Norwegian wood 1a

Batting An Eye…

Siren 1a

Digesting…

hurricane Sandy 1a

Boob Tube…

 

Sarah

Sarah Baby…

Ciao Bella… Sarah…

It’s Skull Time Folks…


 

fire-water 1a

Like my shades…

solarize 1a

Back Scratcher…

 

Col Kranium

Smoken Joken…

Gog 1a

Molten…

Jack 1 1a

Bad Ass Dude…

jolly roger 1a

Jolly Roger…

rattle 1a

Ciao… Sarah…

Really Cool Cats…


Pasht 1aLuxor 1a

Cats in front of asses…

autumn kittie Mustang 1a

Cats wearing glasses…

Please follow the Piper Who is God?

Super cool cats….

Fantomas costume 1a

Cats with masks…

Left Bank 1a professor 1a

Bug eyed cats…

bow tie 1a Capitalist 1a

Black and white cats…

cat n mouse mentor

Cats with really big racks…

tailgate 1a CAT Magazine

Bats with big asses…

artist Village cats 1a

Aristo.. coolie kitty kats…

prowl 1a

Ciao… Sarah the best kitty cat…

This that and the other thing…


broken mechanical christ4 broken mechanical christ3 broken mechanical christ2 broken mechanical christ1

Mechanics from the outside in…  What comes first.. the inside or the outside…

Janus4 1a Janus3 1a Janus 1a Janus2 1a

Jestor Joker… Joker Jester… Truth or lies… Lies or truth…

blotter 9 1a blotter 7 1a blotter 8 1a blotter 6 1a

Do you see the skull… the bee… the microwave…the lady… is her hair up or down… the light switch… the snow flake… the light switch…the fox???

rattle 1a

Sarah is feeling a bit old these days…

Ciao… Sarah …

Cracker Jack….


torn shorts 1a

Slight Cracker Jack…

sick girl 1a

Subtle Cracker Jack…

stucco 1a

Tacky Cracker Jack…

nylon pylon 1a

Sexy Cracker Jack…

taxi 1a

Full On Cracker Jack…

red car 1a

Too Much Cracker Jack…

Sarah

Sarah Ain’t No Cracker Jack…

How do you like my hat???


potlach princess3

I like hat… but I think it looks better

with the 3rd eye….

potlach princess6

This hat works much better when I

wear it in the shrubs…

potlach princess4

This hat works well with my face

painted to match my outfit…

potlach princess

This hat isn’t big enough to cover

my rack…

potlach princess5

This hat does just that…

potlach princess2

This hat works best of all…

Sarah

Sarah doesn’t need any stinking hat…

In Blue Mood …


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Blue Space Woman…

with super Cool Shades…

blue genie 1a

Blue Genie… with Pointers…

She can point you in the right direction…

money for Mars 1a

Blue… Sea Crustation…

She would love to give you a little pinch…

Sarah

No Blue Sarah…

Time to vist the DR…


flu shot 1a

Did you get your flu shot today…

I promise you won’t feel a thing…

dentist 1a

I see you haven’t been flossing…

I promise you won’t feel a thing…

zombie proctology 1a

Just bend over and relax…

This is gonna hurt…just kidding…

Sarah

Sarah is up to date on her vaccines…

How do you like your Cleavage…


white room 1a

Cleavage with Boots…

flower girl 2a

Clueless Cleavage…

Laurie 1a

Peak a Boo Cleavage…

 

orange hair 1a

Cleavage with Tats…

Mustang 1a

Cleavage on a Kat…

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Or Cleavage with a Hat…

Sarah

Ciao Busten Bella…

Follow me on Tumblr

Love my Stripes…


Change is coming

Stripes on a broom???

pumpkin carver

Stripes and Knives…

mary jane 1a

Kitty Kitty Stripes…

witch

Stripes and a hat…

stockings

Stripes really are just that…

Sarah

Ciao Bello… stripes away…

Blazing Skulls…


malefic 4 1a

Always need my shades…

malefic 2 1a

Say cheese…

malefic 3 1a

Need lips… please…

malefic 1 1a

Damn mouth left me… hungry…

Sarah

Ciao… Sarah…

Mermaids… in thier natural state…


tracey

Oops… let me cover myself…

day 77 1a

Yawn… soooo relaxed…

chicken of the sea 1a

Here kitty kitty…

mercat 1a

Kitties are mermaids too…with boobs…

The Creature

Creature from the ….can you tell me???

mermaid

She has big floaters… up up up…

Davy Jones's Locker 1a

Captains… catch…

mermaid 1a

Firebush mermaid…

Sarah

Sarah wishes she were a red hot red headed mermaid…

 

Redheads…so Rule the world…


 

slutty sarah 1a Fiji time 1aRahab rehab 1a

Letting the wild out to play for the day…

Bengal 1a mary jane 1a
Purr… Here kitty kitty…

Sarah

Girls… Girls… Girls… by artist Gregory Hergert…


sick girl 1a

Need I say anymore???

torn shorts 1a

Tad bit short???

color coordinate 1a

Rocken those red heals…

guess bag 1a

Check out the Guess purse…

stripped mini 1a

Stripes don’t make fat do they???

sheer and strapless 1a

Who needs bras???

Sarah

Boring Sarah… covered and tucked!!!

House of Scorpio…


House of Scorpio2 1a

A thought starts to form…

House of Scorpio 1a

It progresses and evolves…

House of Scorpio3 1a

Take shape with boobs…(of course)

House of Scorpio5 1a

Boobs removed for time being…

House of Scorpio4 1a

Starting to show true form…

House of Scorpio...

Final product… House of Scorpio…

Sarah

Sarah… a Scorpio…

Shades of Gray…


mercat 1a

Surfs up…

the door 1a

Shhh… be very very quiet…

the butler did it 1a

Hmph… I am not talking to you…

granite 3 1a

I just can’t reach that itch…

Sarah

Some Skully Skelly Time…


reading glasses 1a

Ha Ha Ha… tell me another joke!!!

surveilant 1a

Just need to look at your eyes…

rattle 1a

Feeling a little Draggy today…

atomic samurai 1a

Need to polish the dome…

 

Can you feel the beat…

vice grip 1a

Should I shave it or keep it…

Sarah

Wow… WTF… says Sarah…

Mask Mask Mask… everywhere a Mask…


mask 4 1a

Smiles… I am happy…

mask 5 1a

Sorta smile…

mask 1 1a

Say cheese…

mask 6 1a

Ahhh… Ahhh… Choo!!!

mask 2 1a

All twisted up inside…

mask 3 1a

Headache…

So… what mask are you wearing today???

Sarah

Sarah has no mask on…

Five heads are not better than one…


radiant geisha1 1a

Smoochy…

radiant geisha2 1a

Bitchy…

radiant geisha3 1a

Chic…

radiant geisha5 1a

Snooty…

radiant geisha4 1a

Classy…

Sarah

And then there is Sarah…

Bottoms up everyone…


televisor 1a

What’s on TV this evening???

snow angel 1a

Snow angels anyone???

fairy stroll 1a

Fairy godmother…

pop erotic 1a

Painting away…

caterpillar 1a

Hmmm…..

haunted pathway 3 1a

Bottom heavy…

forbidden planet 1a

Moon gazing…

The Minstrel 1a

Your jester…

Bottoms up everyone…

Sarah

Ciao… Sarah…

 

2013… Sorry to see you go… 2014… Nice to meet you…


Peace soon

We are winding down 2013, this year I have many things to sit back and reflect upon, it was for myself, a year of amazing challenges, some very bittersweet moments but also a year of the accomplishment of amazing feats.  When I take a few moments to relax with my glass of wine, I reflect on where things were for myself in the 2013 and am amazed at where I am as I near the end, the distance I have traveled, the people I have met, the family I have connected with and all the good people in my life and the wonderful partner I share my life with and who is kind enough to let me share his artwork…

Phoenix rising

It seemed as I moved along the year in 2013 that I was not accomplishing anything and that the expectations of timelines I had set for myself, all imploded, but as I sit and type this quick little note, turning 50, traveling abroad and opening a new thriving company, I realize I have come far thanks to the support of those I am fortunate enough to have in my life, though at times it felts as though I was not moving at all…  However, that momentum will build in 2014 and will be unstoppable going forward..

Hustle and bustle

2014 will be a year of continued Hustle and Bustle, travel too and from, continued building on the foundation I have created and growing my bonds with my family and friends… but it will also be a year that I pick up my favorite hobby and creative outlet of writing again, I will revamp SarahsViews, as I am not as bitter as when I first created her, she will develop a satire tongue that still pokes fun at the world, but also at herself as she ages… I have created a new blog… Dear Dead Betty… advise from the beyond… a creation, I am having a ton of fun with… I will also focus more on featuring the artwork of Gregory Hergert… 2014 will be a year of letting the creativity back out to play…

stroll 1a blur

I hope as you reflect on 2013 and make plans for the coming year, you leave all the ghost and demons in the past and move forward with vigor and enthusiasm… we are all in control of our happiness and successes as well as our demise… it’s up to each of us to choose which path we take this year… I hope you choose to walk that happiness path with me…

Happy New Year…

Sarah

Ciao, Sarah…

 

Animals or People??? Artwork by Gregory Hergert…


triceratops 1a lounge lizard 1a

Today’s business tycoons…

tax 1a

Pecker head…

costume 1a Mustang 1a

Purrrrrfectly happy…

Ouroboros2 1a

Yowzya…baby…

sugar daddy dog 1a Wolfman 1a

Walking your dog???

Wiki dump 1a the trainer 1a

Boys and girls are soooo different these days…

Sarah baby...

Ciao …Sarah…

Artwork of Gregory Hergert


hemoglobin 1 1a hemoglobin 2 1a hemoglobin 3 1a hemoglobin 4 1a

I am in a red nude mood…

he goat 1 1a he goat 3 1a he goat 4 1a he goat 7 1a

I like the goat man…

fat cat 1 1a fat cat 2 1a fat cat 3 1a fat cat 4 1a

I am a fat cat… are you???

gearshift 1 1a gearshift 3 1a gearshift 4 1a gearshift2 1a

Can we shift your gears???

pink assassin 1 1a pink assassin2 1a pink assassin4 1a pink assassin5 1a

Pink Assassins…

 

Sarah

Sarah’s back… enjoy the art…

 

 

Oh my… It looks as though I can fly…


 

Fly Fly Fly...

Fly Fly Fly…

I am sooo not sure when this happened, I mean… WTF… I swear last month, this was not the case… I am not even sure whose body this is anymore…  In my mind I am still a size 4… in the mirror though it appears I am in a fun house and someone has added the digit number 1 in front of my 4… I repeat… WTF…  4 or 14…which is it???

I am certain last night when I went to sleep in my normal pj’s that I have worn for a few years that I was a size 4… OK..maybe I was pushing a size 6… well… maybe I am fudging abit… it may be a comfy size 8ish to 10???  Maybe, but not a 1 and 4!!!  I know these pj’s are a tad bit snug around the mid driff… well… OK… maybe I have been squirming at night because they are leaving a ring around the waist line… but that is just water weight from too much salt… too much wine… and oh yeah, don’t forget the block of cheese I consumed this past week… but it was soooo good and I needed to get it out of the house so I would not eat anymore of it…  I know it would be a true sin of the holy spirit who made me a 14 to throw it a way…. NO… that would have been sacrilegious…  SO… I ate it all… I was saving myself…

Now as I stand in front of this mirror and as I pick up my once firm breast and position them where they should go… you know… making them pointers instead of setters with the assist of my hands underneath… I noticed something more frightening than that… causing me to drop them and hold my arms straight out to my sides and roll them in circles as we did in PE class many many decades ago… as I did this.. they swung too and fro…the undersides of my once tight taught arms… they now have grown… like my ears and nose… they continue to grow…

Now… they look like I could take off any moment… in mid-flight… so this is how it goes…as we near the time of our passing and leaving this odd place we call earth… we women are granted the gift to fly to the light above while the men are left to wait for some female to come and drag their asses to the light.. ah… I see how this aging process is going…   However, thank the heavenly things above us for inventing cosmetic surgery… because I ain’t no fucking flying squirrel, bat or bird… no I am here to stay and as long as I have money…this bitch ain’t flying nowhere… but perhaps I better get rid of the cheese…wine…and so forth … now you go…  you go fly away… beat it… thsi bitch is going on a liquid diet…what type I will never tell… but I am sure I will be too drunk to fly anywhere…

Ciao… bella… Sarah the flying squirrel … on her way to meet the trainer to get her ass kicked…

work it bitch

 

When Church Can Be An Unpleasant…


Ahh… I knew that would get your attention… didn’t it???  Such a hot topic to everyone and anyone that either does or does not embrace Religion…   When Church becomes a “dirty” word is due to both groups that lie on opposite sides of the topic…  The topic really isn’t Church per say… as it is Religion…  It is the different views and interpretations by individuals as well as a lack of acceptance that others can embrace an opinion or belief system that is different from theirs…  This is where the true nastiness of the topic originates from…  Not Church or Religion… but mostly about the arrogance and ignorance…  lack of compassion, understanding and acceptances toward others…  The superiority complex they feel above others…  They truly are insecure and must find acceptance in those who also share the same beliefs and insecurities… together as a group they become a flock of sheep, they draw upon the fears of their peers for strength and convictions…  ahh.. all in the name of god… their god, that is…

The pure arrogance that this group feels that they or shall I say their religion can be far superior to anyone  elses other than their own… is truly nothing more than pure ignorance, even more so than arrogance… though the two can often be easily confused…  This group believes they are “the top dogs” in the eyes of god and speak on a regular basis to him  daily…  of course… I am going to assume, they refer to their god as a him…  as it would be beyond their capacity to think that a book of stories rewritten over and over to conform (ahh.. how I detest that word)  to each Church or Religion…   One theme typically remains constant… their god… whom they spew upon the rest of us… their thoughts of the subject… is always a man… not that I personally give a shit if they follow a man or a woman… the common theme for me… is they are following something and that makes them followers… unable to think without being told… yet to have the comfort of their god to fall back on when they do step out of line with the others… they can always use the get outta jail free card above to forgive them for what they perceive to be as sins…. always living to please and ask for acceptance and forgiveness… hell honey, you might as well get a good blow job or a lickity split in the mean time… cuz god will forgive you till next week…

While I clearly do not hide my distaste in the actions of this group above. .. I do however accept openly that they can choose to believe what ever they want to, as it is their right and while I may openly trash that belief system… I do at the same time respect it… as it is their choice not mine… the group on the other side of the fence can be equally as damning… The non believers who profess that there is nothing spiritual in this world and scream that they will not participate in a Church or Religion… They wear their badge of non god as predominately as those listed above…  What I must question is… Is that, this group of non believers,  to me  they seem at times to be as fucking ignorant and arrogant as the sheep of god above…  This group, is so proud to not believe in anything that they too have become over zealous with their beliefs and must feel the need to debate the topic whenever they hear the word Church or Religion…  to shove down the throat of the believers why they are far superior that the believers for following their god… Does this not make the Non Believer the same as the Believers???  Do they not belong to a special peer group???  May they be considered the “Black Sheep” of society, family or friends… but does that not also make them a pack of sheep… following a belief system… one not of religion but instead deeply rooted in the belief of non religion and the non-existence of god… are they not also spewing the same thing… just from a different platform???  Seems to me they are their own religion… Baaa…Baaa… Black Sheep…

I guess I can close this out with my own views… you have the option to not care, listen or agree… as it is the same stance I take when I hear yours… the one thing I do not want to do… is to shove my thoughts down your throat and I ask the same of you… I feel that the world is a large place… and all people “are” created equal…Sorry to burst your bubble there baby… We are all have our own vices, flaws and hiccups… it is the life experiences that make us whom we are… our minds are strong powerful tools that can make us or break us… I believe the world needs sheep and both types ….in addition,  the world needs free thinkers whom are able to make  choices of their own minds… you can not escape the impact of religion no matter where you look… I believe everyone has the right to believe what they want, to be who they are, want to be and can be and should not let religion or others stop them from being who they truly should be… you should not pass judgment on those who are different or have different beliefs… If we all followed the same flock of crap… what a boring world this would be…  Those are SarahsViews on Church… it is a dirty word…  and while I enjoy making fun of life… and what I see… I do think… we need all types in this world to make it work… and beside…if we didn’t, where the hell would I get my topics from… You kittens???

Ciao Bella… a non PC Sarah B…

What’s Your Speed Limit…


Purr...My engine is all rev'd up!!!

Purr…My engine is all rev’d up!!!

So baby… what’s your speed limit???  Are you someone who drives slow and steady at 35 miles per hours… do you like the nice even pace of being middle of road, giving you ample time to avoid any road blocks ahead… foot steady on the gas pedal ready to brake at any moment???

Is your speed limit 35 but you like to drop down to 25 miles per hour… hang out in the really slow lane, looking for some excitement…ready to put your pedal down hard so you  can take off lightening fast… if someone in the 25 mile per hour lane catches up to you and sparks your attention???  Do you slow back down to let them catch up to you???  Gently tap your brake lights to get their attention… you all wanting to drive 35 but wanting to play in the 25 mile per hour lane…

If driving under the speed limit isn’t really your thing, are you someone who likes to chances and rev up your night and push full steam ahead and press your petal down hard and hit the fast lane, are you someone who loves to tempt fate and risk the twist and turns of the fast lane, lives to enjoy speeding up to the next stop sign, look around and see who is next to you… see if you can catch them as the race away… you and all your 35 mile per hour wanting to chase that 45 mile per hour person… you are ready for the chase and you to win the race…

Remember…whatever lane you choose to drive in… there are always gonna be some speed bumps ahead when you least expect it… ready to blow a tire… pop your airbags sooner than you expected…  whatever lane you like to drive or shall I say play in… remember slow it way down back baby… buckle up or as a wise ole gal I know says… you better click it or get a ticket… drive safe… stay in your own fucking lane…

Ciao Bella …  Sarah B… playing it safe at 35…

Where the hell is my driver???

Where the hell is my driver???

If I Only Had Balls… Wait, I Do…


My balls of fire...

My balls of fire…

If I Only Had Balls… Wait, I Do… They were yours!!!  You left them in the middle of our conversation…right there, on the floor, as scurried out of the room in the middle of a slightly challenging conversation… yup, you turned and you bolted… like a flash of lightening… boom… you were gone and on the floor in the dust were your balls…oh… I meant to say, my balls…

Oh yeah, that’s right, you dropped, you ran and so guess what… I took…  they are now mine…  I think I shall hang them from my rear view mirror so every time I am in the car, I can be reminded that I have big balls… bigger than yours, wait, that’s right, they are yours… but guess what, they are mine…  In fact, all my female friends have a set just like these hanging from their rear view mirrors, a few of them use them for a key chain… yup… that’s right, balls on chain…

No take backs allowed, you left them up for grabs and now they are mine… once I give them a great work out and show them how they are really to be used and what they are capable of and their full potential…and not left on the side lines…then perhaps I will return them… if you think you can finally use them… and better yet, know what to do with them… till then… I will take are of business…

Ciao Bella…

Sarah…

Ball Buster

Ball Buster

Sheep in Wolves Clothing…


Sheep on Wolves Clothing…

Stepford Sheep or Stepford Wolves, they are all… Stepford People… Truly they are all just one in the same… Individuals who want to have the appearance of a perfect life, marriage, job and looks… They eagerly follow the leader of the Perfect Pack… as none of them want to think for themselves and be separated from the pack…  They yearn to be just like everyone else, think like everyone else and look like everyone else…  Wanting only to be perfect and more importantly they want you to be just as perfect and to join their herd…

You see them everywhere you look and they are all around you; they are milling about, fixing their hair, straightening their ties, shifting their skirts and checking any mirror they pass to make sure they are still just as perfect…  They may look perfect, however you can see right past and through them… not even catching your attention… They so much want to just be noticed by you and others, to just stand out amongst everyone else around them, however, sadly, they only simply just blend in with the back ground that surround them… There is nothing about them that is special at all… Too bad, so sad, all that money, all that following, all that perfectness, beauty and status and yet they really are just only a bunch of  nothings…

It never ceases to amaze me how important it is for this group of individuals to be noticed and to stand out above of the rest of us while forming their own secret sect;  I am all too shocked at the needs of this group to be recognized, to be something they are not and more so, can and never will be…  Who are these people and why are they are here?  What insecurity was instilled into them to create this need to be perfect…  Is it so important to be like everyone else?  To look like everyone else?  To dress like everyone else?   Must they all drive the same cars, live in houses that they only to tell them apart, in their gated communities, is simply by the numbers on the fronts of their homes…  As nothing else sets them apart, the last thing they want is to be the black sheep of the flock…  How horrible that would be…  Being the Black Sheep to this group would cause one to ostracized and shunned forever… this group can not sustain itself with those who seek individuality, as this group works diligently at squashing and shunning the dreamers and seekers of what else is out there besides a life of conformity…

If being someone who is  seeking to learn more about life, dreams and possibilities of what one can do, means you are a non conformist to the Perfects Sect and that you will be shunned, then I shall take a pass at the “Stepford Lies Club” and instead continue moving towards being my own individual and follow my own lead and no one else s… as I am not nor would I ever want be a part of the Perfect Pack…  wolves or sheep’s, all the same and I will take a pass on this group, sect and herd… I would prefer to be a Baa Baa Black Sheep Baby…

Ciao Bella… Sarah B…

Woke up this morning with clarity…

Happy Birthday To Me… Happy Birthday To Me???


Joy oh Joy… the joyous gifts that we as women are given on our birthdays…  You know what birthday I mean, correct, the one that start the next cycle of our lives… oh what a fun journey this next cycle will be… Humph!!!

I guess using the term, gift and cycle in the same paragraph is miss leading, on this birthday, my cycle decided to give me a little more than normal, it decided to hang around awhile, hmmm, I muttered to myself… well that is odd, haven’t had this issue before, in the back of my mind, I was in denial as to what this could potentially mean, perhaps, I am just having an odd month, you know, lots of stress, maybe not enough exercise or better yet, I decided it was from not enough sex… determining this to be the case, I made mental note to attack my other half upon the moment he entered the door when he came home…  that would fix this extra birthday gift and make it go away…

After repeatedly using this approach, one evening, while dozing, I began to notice that the room had become extremely…shall we say… a freaking blazing inferno….oh my freaking god… Please get this sea of blankets off of me know… I struggle to get my leg out of the blanket all while managing to piss off our cat at the foot of the bed, begrudgingly, he spat at me, showing me his annoyance and he moved over to my husbands side of the bed, what the hell…  did we leave the heat on ultra high before going to bed earlier, I struggled to remember, no, I know we didn’t, wow…one let out is not going to do the trick, I wondered what I was thinking when I wore a tee shirt and sleeping bottoms, they were now stuck to me, a bit damp I was… second leg out… what is that trickling between my breast is that water???  Did the cat piss on me because I woke him up… now struggling to fully waken myself, I see the fur ball snuggled close to my husband, he has not pissed on me, why am I wet???  Crap… I am freaking burning up, my hair is damp… I toss all the covers fully off of me, throwing them onto my husband, I am sure I have fever and to have one this high, I must be close to death… surely there is no other reason to be this warm…  do I have food poisoning???  Why am I sweating…   crap… I began to realize I am cold… damn, give me those covers back and I want them now… I grab them off my husband and take a few of his at the same time… I prepare myself for a bad case of the flue tomorrow morning, because I know to have this type of fever, means that I will be hugging the porcelain bowl and not want to be far from it, I am sure of this…  I doze and go back to a sound sleep, when I wake, I am fine, other than when I went to bed, I had straight hair and in my rage of sweat, I must have gotten my hair wet and it is now curly and fuzzy… nice, what a beauty I am as I look in the mirror…  funny though I don’t feel sick…

It was 3 nights later, I repeated this pattern and after a few more weeks of the on and off switch with my body’s thermostat, I began to self diagnose, because somewhere in the back of my mind…  a little voice was saying… you know, that was a very significant number you just hit on your birthday… right???

About 2 months later as I was at work, I was talking to a co worker, while sitting at my desk, I began to notice that I was starting to get hot, the hair on the back of my neck felt like a heavy wool coat!!!  I looked at my co worker as I began to feel like perspiration on my upper lip… I asked him the only thing I could think of… is it HOT in here…. Or it is just me???  He looks at me and says nope, it is actually a bit cool in here today… Damn… I was so afraid that is what he would say…  shall we say going forward, for the next 2 months, I learned to dress in layers in the dead of winter and a pony tail became my hair style of choice, I began to understand why so many women as they got older chose short  hair…   I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe I could possibly, you know.. Me entering.. that M stage of my life…  This would require research…

With Google as a girl’s best friend and my husband asleep, I crept to our home office and plugged in the M word in search bar… I read all about it, when it starts, what the symptoms were.. fuck.. I had almost all of them… denial has been my friend, years of taking care of my body, eating healthy, exercising… and it has betrayed me… damn body, in my mind that meant I could betray it back… I lay in bed, partially covered prepared for the heat wave, one leg out, our cat had learned it was safer to sleep next to my husband than potentially risk being kicked awake every few nights… I decided I would sleep on it…

In the morning, I went to the health food store and bought all the natural remedies I could find… after 3 weeks, I realized I had just simply donated hard earned money and still continued to dress in layers and had now resorted to 2 fans on the side of my bed… it became all too clear… it was time to see a DR… it had been a few years, kids were grown.. life was full, so hadn’t taken the time to visit the lay down and spread em doctor…

When I called to make an appointment, I found she had moved to a new state… they said they would set me up with a new DR, a male doctor… I said no thank you, I didn’t want to explain this man… how would he understand…  So, I did the next best thing.. I went to my girlfriend, who was a few years older than myself…  I met her for wine and we talked and I explained the past several months’ events and she was all to sympathetic, letting me know that her time has started a few years ago.. she had opted for the natural way though and could not refer me to a doctor… was she fucking nuts… who would opt for natural when after I realized my natural approach didn’t work, I had crept back to the office one night and with google as my friend and no longer in denial, I searched.. .menopause and how the fuck to make the symptoms go away…

She offered to ask several of her girlfriends for a referral for me… I thanked her and we finished our girls catch up time and wine and we headed our separate ways for the evening… As I got to the work the next morning, I turned on my computer and went to check my email and true to form, my friend had sent out an email that read…  My first and last name has started having hot flashes and is looking for a gynecologist can anyone refer her to one… now everyone knew… I didn’t know to say… so I closed my email… put my hair in a ponytail, removed my first layer… and went to work.. at lunch I opened back up my email and there we numerous emails from friends of our age group that had replied with referrals and shared stories of misery that made me laugh… seems I was not alone in this and that I had entered a new cycle of my life with this birthday that brought me to a new sisterhood, an odd way to bond, but a nice way to start a new chapter… next week, I shall meet my new DR that is referred by many of the women on the email chain and if this DR knows what is good for her and she wants to leave the office in one piece, I will leave her office with a prescription to make me go back to normal…  Happy Birthday to me…

Ciao Bella… a Pissed Off Sarah…

Servicing The Customer…


Customer service or servicing the customer… what is the difference…. Well for starters, the customer is the reason why we get up, get our asses dressed and down some caffeine and aspirin all at the same time, look in the mirror… throw some paint on or comb the hair over the spot that seems to be growing on top and say to ourselves… It’s show time folks… with that over eager look of hope…

Upon starting your day and by your third customer, you begin to realize that you can give all the customer service you want… but it is apparent that the customers want more, they want you to give them customer service and pay them for you give it to them… in addition, perhaps you can shine their shoes, carry their purse while they shop, hell, they will just give you the list of what they want, ask you to pour them a drink of top shelf adult beverage, request you pay the tab for the drink and do their shopping while they put their feet up and rest a bit…

When all is done, they will write a scathing complaint letter to your boss about how you didn’t look them in the eye, didn’t smile quite enough times and offended them because the drink you bought for them, wasn’t as strong as they felt it should have been… or my favorite, too strong and they got a ticket driving home and expect you to pay…

Today, we are taught to give good customer service, but we as customers have forgot how to be good customers, with stores fighting for our market share we have become arrogant and rude, intolerant to the person who is attempting to help you while at the checkout counter, or answer your questions at customer service… we as customers, have become spoiled children like Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory who wants it all now and doesn’t care who she yells at to get it… this is us… this is today’s customer…

When you shop today… who will you be… today’s customer or …

Ciao… Sarah B

 

Interesting Quotes And Their True Meanings…


Aspire to be Barbie – the bitch has everything…  Sarah says… boy does that bitch really does have everything, come on sister.. she’s got a play house, a Barbie mobile and best of all  a Ken dude that is made of plastic and hard, that she controls… and wow… I guess she does have everything, except batteries to keep Ken going…

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always…  Sarah says… Oh Baby cakes… Really, you didn’t know her first name was Ms.. not Miss Always… cuz now your ass is married and that makes your first name… Yes Dear…

Maybe this world is another planet’s hell…  Sarah say… Uh, really?  Do you think… what was your first clue???  Your day at the office???

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company…  Sarah says… well where do you wanna be… in the sunshine with you know… those types… or in the heat with your friends, sipping cocktails by the pool…watching the pool boy… who you know… screwed up too and ended up here servicing you… tough choice… but I a prone to the heat…

Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope?  If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!  Sarah says…  well she doesn’t want to step on toes… but come on… does it get any clearer that statement… and who is the Pope and exactly what does he does for a living… not quite sure on that and why has he never had sex???

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me…  Sarah says… LOL.. the true definition of religion… better to ask for forgiveness than permission…

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.  Sarah says… And your point??

He is a self-made man and worships his creator…  Sarah says.. Hey dude.. why does it need to be all about man and his creator… you self righteous bastard… don’t you know we made you… or I guess the correct term is own you…

When life gets you down – just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.  Sarah says… put em on sister, you lame whiny ass bitches are giving the rest of us a bad name, so shut, buck up and do the job like the rest of us…

A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.   Did Sarah here the words I do in this statement???

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants… Sarah says, Italian food is the best she has ever had… yum yum…

The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps.  Sarah says… no comment because common sense and not politics tells you this is a true statement and leave it at that…  because one thing Sarah has learned… is common sense really doesn’t matter…

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.   Sarah says… WTF… have you been listening to my phone calls lately???

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.  Sarah says… What???

Today is the last day of some of your life.   Sarah says… Wow… Really, that is the best you can come up with… dumb ass…

Ciao Bella… bite me… Sarah…

Is The Peri Fairy Heading Your Way???


Just entering the latter part of my 40’s, I have begun to enter that newest phase of being a female.  My doctor calls this new phase “peri-menopausal”…  I don’t really know what “peri” means as a medical term, but in real life terms “peri” means… aggravating, bothersome, annoying, troublesome, vexing…I.E.: ”Fucking-pain-in-the-god–damn- ass”-pre-menopausal.

So let’s talk real… I’ve been having a period since I was 11.  Yes…early bloomer in so many wrong ways….  WTF ever…  So, for over 30 years, it’s been an inconvenient, yet predictable part of my life.  3-1/2 weeks go by, I get cramps for a day, bleed for 4 or 5 , and it’s a done deal for another 3-1/2 weeks.  But a couple years ago, things started changing a bit.  First, I started to decrease to just 3 or 4.  It continued to dwindle over the next few months until I was down to just over 2 days.  Woo-Hoo!!!  Who wouldn’t like that???  Eventually I was left with a day of cramps but no period to follow.  Not my favorite, but the no muss-no fuss aspect has its appeal.  Finally one day I was at the grocery store, passing by the tampon display, and realized I hadn’t restocked my supply in what seemed like a very long time…  Standing at the display, I counted backwards to the last time I’d needed them… Holy shit…it was nearly 6 months!!!

Free at last – Free at last!  Fuck you Playtex & your God-damn labia pinching super-glide applicator!!!  They never once were a super glide… Fuck you Kotex & your God-damn pube pulling self-sticking panty shields!!!  And Fuck you OB & your God-damn strings that wick bodily fluids into the wearer’s underwear without absorbing a fucking drop!  I was a happy woman… I giggled and danced a little jig right there in the aisle…  causing the young man standing close by to move quickly away from me…  OMG…within a week, I had a freaking period…  NOT one of those 1 or 2 day MF’s either.  Apparently my uterus had not stopped doing its thing, just simply saving for a rainy day….  I had 3 days of cramps and 6 months worth of period over about a 9 day time span…   Mother Nature can be such a raving bitch…  Moving forward, I vowed a couple of things… I will only pass the feminine hygiene display if I need feminine hygiene products,  I will approach those product displays with only the deepest reverence and utmost respect…  Also, I will never again curse feminine hygiene product makers in public or private as I had learned my lesson…

Now for the past 6 months I’ve honored my vows, avoided the tampon aisle, been respectful etc. and my menstrual life has once again returned to uneventful.  The dwindling process resume and I went back to having periods that are sporadic, short-lived and sparse…   Life is good…but then I forgot… Shit!!!  While grocery shopping…  I must first point out and ask what genius’s idea it was to arrange the feminine hygiene products on the same aisle as coffee or deeply desired espresso… which for me, is a requirement of life as important to air and wine…  I decided it was silly of me to go all the way around the hygiene product aisle to get to the other end to get coffee, so I cut through… Dumb Ass…  Seeing the tampon & maxipad boxes all lined up, I again realized it had been some length of time since I’d needed to re-supply…  Outwardly I remained respectful & polite, inwardly, I must admit I had just the teensiest of  Ha Ha… moment…  That was all it took… you idiot!!!

The next day, Monday, I was sitting at my desk talking on the phone when, with absolutely no warning, I felt something go bluuurrp…you know…down there.  I knew immediately this was not good…  I finished the phone call and headed to the rest-room squeezing my you know what shut…  Oh My God!!!  It was bad…it was really really bad…  It looked like someone had bled a sacrificial goat into my underwear…  Was I wearing light-colored pants???  Did I even have to ask???  They were khakis of course…   Had it bled through my underwear into my pants???  Hello…of course!!!  Badly I wondered… Not too bad from the volume/area/stain size standpoint, however from a placement/location standpoint, it was fucking stellar…  Somehow, because of the way I was sitting, because of the way my pants fit, or because I fucking pissed off the Period Goddess again, I had managed to channel the flow forward so it made a big red blotch right at the base of my pant fly… It was only 10:00 am…

I cleaned up as best I could, & went looking in the bathroom cupboard for the supplies to catch any further leakage.  In the past, I always kept a small stash of tampons at work.  However it hasn’t been all that necessary for quite some time now, and I didn’t have anything…  Fortunately, one of my lovely 20-something year-old co-workers had a box of panty shields in the cupboard.  It was an emergency and I figured I could replace them later, so I opened her box, and learned a new thing…  Did you know they make panty shields for THONGS???  They’re normal width in the front, and taper to string width in the back…with wings…  Who knew and most importantly….WHY???  How fucking useless is that???  Being desperate, I made do…  I laid the first one in, front to back & then the second one, back to front so that together, they almost made one whole.  I made it through the rest of the morning by staying at my desk, or carrying papers, and file-folders in front of me.

At lunch, I zipped home where I scrubbed the spot from the crotch of my pants, and threw them in the dryer to dry.  Unfortunately…“the thong panty liners” didn’t stick very well to my “non-thong panties”…   Instead, they are curled, twisted and have attached themselves directly to my hairy lips… both right and left!!! Removing the liners gave me a free partial Brazilian job, as they ripped out thong shaped swaths of pubic hairs…  I took a quick shower and checked on my pants…  The stain had been transformed.  It was now a large ring around the whole crotch of my pants where they had been wetted when I scrubbed them.  I decided perhaps it was time for plan B…change pants, and just freaking deal if anybody asks why if they are stupid enough to not see the glaring eyes and flaring nostrils…

Night sweats, Insomnia, Hot Flashes, Moodiness, Irritability, Memory Lapses,  Brain-farts….all predicted, and all now accounted for. However, my friends, you left some stuff out.  Nobody bothered to tell me that walking down the tampon aisle at the grocery store will make your periods start. Nor did anyone say that after 30 plus years of practice in how to deal with having a period, that I’d suddenly become incompetent…  It makes me wonder what else was left out of the stories that I am yet to experience… it this some secret society you can only enter into thru trial by fire…well fuck you…  As for me, I am back to making sure I stay away from the feminine hygiene aisle, being respectful toward the patroness saints of the menses…  I’m hoping that will keep me relatively free of unpleasant surprises for the next bit-o-while.  I am passing this along for you 20 & 30 something’s so you have something to look forward too…

Ciao Bella… A Peri Sarah B…

They Call Me… For A Reason…


They call me Bitch for a reason… Because I am… End of Blog…

I could leave it at that, but that would be incredibly stupid, just like the statement above is…  Often times I have found in life when one takes an assertive or firm stances on a topic and ones views… They are called a bitch… The same can be said of when someone take charge of their own lives and destiny, this too often causes one to be called a bitch…   That leads to ask, just what a bitch is???  Is a bitch someone who does what needs to be done, stay true to the course and takes no shit from anyone…  I think this is not a bitch but instead someone who is taking control, has goals and a plan to achieve them… I think intead, that this is a person who deals with things straight up and head on…

If this were a man we would call him, smart, aggressive and a go getter… but with women, we call this a bitch…  Maybe, we should see what Wikipedia’s definition of a bitch is… ” In literal, non slang use, Bitch is a term for female canines…. Hmmm,  let’s start on this statement…  If we are called bitches, then does that mean we are also female dogs???  So, we are also ugly, because we all use the term Dog, we typically refer to the meaning that you are so ugly as in “what a dog, you need a sack for her head to… hmmm, well… Dog to me, also means… What I think of some types of men, such as in “What a Dumb Ass Dog”… as in he can’t keep his zipper up whenever he smells a new bitch around him…in fact in my cell phone, several of my good male friends, have the labels “dumb-ass-dogs #1, #2 #3 & on after their names… just so I know which one of my bitches is calling today… lol… So in my book, the definition above of bitch is referring to “canines” and that tells me that a bitch is a dog, which seems to refers to a “Dog” which is in… “Dumb-Ass- Dog”…  so truly, the term bitch when in reference to canine, actually means man… so we women are not the bitch…

Wikipedia also states… this suggest a high sexual desire in a woman, compatible to a “bitch” in heat…  a bitch in heat… hmmm… sounds like a woman who just needs to get her kitty scratched so she can purr like a kitten… that doesn’t sounds like a bad thing, now does it???  What would sound bad is a bitch in heat suggesting someone wanting to get knocked up so she can trap some Dumb-Ass-Dog into taking care of her and her puppies she would be popping out…  that is not so nice… I will pass on being a “bitch in heat”… I can scratch my own kitty…

The other definition Wikipedia quotes is… In recent usage, the range has expanded to refer to a feminist context, Bitch, can indicate a Strong or Assertive Woman, one who may make men feel threatened… I find it truly amazing that this definition is exactly how I started out this blog, where Bitch is a strong woman…  I must disagree, a bitch is simply someone who for no reason at all is a just an arrogant, cocky, rude person…  This can refer to both a male or a female… They can both be a bitch in my book…

The last definition states, when applied to a man, “bitch” is a derogatory term for subordinate… So, it is saying that you are my bitch and I am your boss… Hmm, this is confusing because in essence, above , it stated a strong and assertive person would be the boss and they would be the bitch… So the subordinate could not be the bitch, right???  Seems to me that the word bitch has a lot of mixed connotations as to what it really means… However, we are all going to use the term “Bitch” when we feel the need to throw someone under the bus or get our point across or feel superior… For me, I am a Bitch but which definitions above apply, well depends on what time of day you ask me…

Ciao, Sarah B…

And What’s Your Sign…


 So Baby… just what is your sign???  Ever hear that lame ass line when you are out trying to have a great evening with the girls or boys???  Or someone who is so fucking proud of their Zodiac sign that they announce it to everyone they meet like it is a badge of honor???  Well…  here is SarahsViews and interpretation of your Zodiac signs…

AQUAIRIUS    You have an inventive mind are inclined to be progressive or repressive in my opinion…  You lie a great deal…  Like you don’t already know that…  You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are “SS” we call that “super stupid”…  Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk…  I really know you are a fucking jerk and now you do too… So liar…  get over yourself…  Go invent some new shit and sell it to someone who believes it…  Oh… you already did!!!

PISCES     You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads and you think only with the head of your dick or your special box.  You are quick to reprimand, inpatient and full of advice, because it is all about you…you… and oh yeah.. YOU… Dumb ASS…  You do nothing but piss off everyone you come in contact with…  You are a prick… Asshole… Dick… Bitch… etc… I could go on…  But you are so self-serving, you actually think I am complimenting you…  LOL!!!

ARIES     You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA, well… actually you are, because you are usually a criminal or associate with them…  You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power, LOL…that is funny, that is when your friends arent’ in jail…  You lack confidence and are a general dipshit…  But if it makes you feel better… at least you aren’t a Pisces…  whew!!!

TAURUS   You as practical and persistent as a stupid fucking fruit fly or as I like to call them a “fucker fly” that I can’t swat fast enough to get rid off…   You are a nasty pest…  You have a dogged determination and work like hell…   Oh please…  like I believe that…  Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed…  You are nothing but a god damned dick… kiss ass… suck up and oh…go wipe your nose… it appears to be covered in something brown!!!

GEMINI   You are quick and intelligent thinker…  People like you because you are bisexual…  I just think you are Bi-Polar!!!  You are inclined to expect too much for too little…  This means you are a cheap bastard…  As in cheap ass mother fucker… who buys Night Train and pours it into an expensive bottle you dug out of your neighbors recycle bin to feel better about yourself and look good to others… depends on if you are Lisa Dark or Lisa Bright today…  Gemini’s are notorious for thriving on incest…  Hey.. stay the fuck away from me!!!  You are scaring the hell out of my cat and dog… both of you… Go Away!!!

CANCER   You are sooo sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems, which makes you a fat big sucker…  One dumb ass lame… sucker…  You are always putting things off…  Because you can’t get jack shit done…  This is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit… Sucker…  Hey this is your sign not mine.. I didn’t make this shit up… I just found it on the internet… so it must be true…  Everyone in prison is a Cancer…  Wow…  Know anyone there???  I do…  hopefully it won’t be you…

LEO     You consider yourself a born leader…  Then you woke up in a sticky puddle…  Others think you are an idiot…   I know you are an idiot…  One arrogant mother fucker… Most Leo’s are bullies… with big heads and small heads at the same time… oops… if you are  woman… you just suck or will suck!!!  You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism…  Your arrogance is disgusting…  and yet so appealing at the same time… I am scared to admit it… Leo people are thieving mother fuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex… Wow…  that is sad…  Yet… if you take videos we can upload them onto U-Tube and make some dough.. so work it baby!!!

VIRGO    You are the logical type and hate disorder… You make the rest of us fucking nuts because you are so damn annoying and can’t shut the fuck up…and must always have the last word… Asshole!!!  Your shit picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co workers… assuming you have them…  You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking…  Whatever it is that you choose to fuck and honey… I don’t want to know… Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps…  At least you will always have job security in those industries!!!

LIBRA    You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality…  Because you are a fucking whack job…  If you are male you are probably gay…  OH well… at least someone has to bring you outta of the closet… Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil… You don’t seem surprised by that… but more surprised that we actually mentioned the word employment and you in the same sentence…  Most Libra women are whores… Again.. job security!!!   All Libras die of venereal disease…  I will pass on that one…and not be playing in your cat box or sand trap…

SCORPIO    You are the worst of the lot…  You are nothing but dirty sneaky bastards all the way…  You are shrewd in business and can not be trusted… EVER!!!   You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics…  Ethics… WTF are those???  You will screw anyone and everyone to get what YOU want…because after all , this is about you… Scorpio… they are just nothing but dirty bastards who will own your ass if you don’t watch out… You think you are the perfect son of a bitch…  Most Scorpios are murdered… and rightfully so…  You better run… hide… before they find you… cuz they are looking sweetie…

SAGITARIUS    You are optimistic and enthusiastic…  LOL… You dumb ass!!!   You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no real talent…  Oops…didn’t mean to let the cat outta the bag on that one…  you should have figured it out by the pile of shit you have lying around…The majority of Sagitarians are drunks…  Hey… nothing wrong with that…  You are a worthless piece of shit…  Oops.. outside typing fingers again!!!  Sorry to be the bearer of bad news for you…  At least you know and can plan where to buy your next bottle of booze from…

CAPRICORN    You are conservative and afraid of taking risks… That is what we in the real world call a Pansy Ass and you are basically chicken shit…  There has never been a Capricorn of any importance…  EVER…  You shall kill yourself…  Hey… again, not me…  I found it on the net… so it must be true… Please don’t breed… there no point… get over it and yourself and move on down the road… to where ever your kind goes… you really have no purpose… we call that thinning out the herd…

Ciao… One mean Scorpio Sarah B Bitch…

Sarahs Bitch Crew

How Old Are You…Really???


They say age is simply just a number…well I think those dirty bastards are lying and it is really the best way to mind fuck yourself into doing or not doing something stupid in your life…

Let’s talk about your 20’s…  You think you are on top of the world… your ass is as perky as your tits and your dick, while as hard a rock… is quick to react and or should I say… over react… and really seems to think that being  “six-shooter” is something to be proud of…  NOT!!! The problem is that in your 20’s you think you are invincible, hot and can do anything you fucking want to…  Well… you are hot!!!  But… you are not invincible and doing anything you fucking want to do will bite you in the ass a few decades later…  While you are “perky”… you are also as dumb as a sack of rocks and believe anything that flies out the mouth of  “Mr. quick fire”…  neither of you have a fucking clue and the sad part is you aren’t going to know that for quite some time to come… and all your actions, desires and impulses are only going to haunt you for decades… My advice is to keep your box on lock down… your six-shooter… well covered to protect against “future” unplanned college educations you will both now have to figure out how to finance…  I can say all of this… cuz I was 20 something once…

Ahh… the undesired number 30…is next… OMG!!! You are now “30”…where did your youth go???  Inside as I type this… I am laughing my ass off because you are an idiot!!!  Your youth is still there and your 30’s…well, lets say these will be some of the worst years of your life… They will suck!!!  Suck like a “Hoover” baby… speaking of Babies… let’s talk about them… Did you cover that thing or lock it down???  Nope???  Great… Now you are saddled to someone who used to have perky tits and a tight ass… and used to have a full head of hair on his head that seems to be moving down his back… while you two shuffle your life around now, not 1 but 2 children because after all… you were in your 20’s and full of  “Gum Drops and Rainbows”  and look where the pot of gold has gotten you now…  You “just” had to have each other… now you “hate” each other… neither of you can get a decent job cuz… you didn’t finish your degree cuz you became baby makers… or as I call them… breeders…  In an attempt to save your marriage you decide to pop out  a 3rd child…  What a bright move that is…  Now you have attached yourself to this person you really want to escape for an additional 18 plus years, you idiots…  Good luck…  it only gets worse… It isn’t until you finally part company… screw anything that walks for a months  ( years for those who are really slow to figure it out ) while trying to regain the youth of your 20’s back… your perky breast are now sitting a bit lower and your ass resembles last weeks cottage cheese…  However… you have spent so much time being a partner and parent… that at least you still have your wardrobe from your 20’s and your hair style… or at least she does… He is starting to expose a bit more forehead… and or has shaved his head… his ass has now sunk in and he his starting to get man boobs that are perkier than hers… (ooh!!)   Now as you near the end of your 30’s… you are about to enter a new phase of mind fuck…  I know this cuz…I was 30 something once…

Your 40’s…  Let’s talk about this interesting phase of your life…  You now want to be 20 again ( You Idiot!!!)… They do say today that your 40’s are the new 20’s… so you now have justification to act 20…right???  Does that also mean the true 20 year olds are really not there to compete with you as you try to buy their clothes and cars???  Or keep up with them at the gym, the language, the hair styles, or and or and or… I will say this…  Your 40’s are the best decade of your life as of yet…  You have the confidence to finally be who you really are… should have been or wanted to be and you don’t give a rats ass about what anyone else thinks.  You are the new 20’s and if you were smart…  you either divorced well or learned how to make a good living so you can remove those signs of aging…  You have figured out that you don’t need anyone or anything for during your 40’s as you are quite capable of entertaining yourself or finding anyone of any age to entertain youand as for you men… you now can buy that special car, get a great fake tan, go to the gym and nail that 20 something-year-old for the night.. but good luck… because remember the sand trap you got yourself into at 20 and how it happened???  You were screwing a 20-year-old then and you just finished paying your kids college education… hopefully you snipped it and won’t repeat THAT mistake again… what we come to realize in both men and women at this age is that sex with younger folks or just anyone… isn’t anything compared to someone of the same confidence and mental caliber that comes with someone mentally in age and drive to them… that shit goes a lot further in the bedroom and in a life partner than  those perky tits and a 6 shooter… that is what you learn in your 40’s…  And again… I am 40 something…so I can say this… and not give a shit if you care about what I write about or not…

I don’t know about the 50’s yet… but I am sure they are marketing those blue pills for just that reason and I will be the first to stand in line for them… for 60’s and beyond… we will just have to wait and see…

Ciao Bell… 40 Something Sarah B…

New Years Flu… Did You Get It Too???


You so sick girl...

You so sick girl...

Well… here you are… the second week of the New Year that I sprinkled in Fairy dust for you and now look at you…  All coughing and hacking up a storm… missed 3 days of work so far to boot…. All because you have the New Years Flu…  Couldn’t keep your mouth to yourself that night now could you???

Had to go out and get all snazzied up in your finest of duds and baby, I really do mean “duds”… in case you are not sure what I am talking about, then perhaps you need to check out the latest Wally World email floating around in your inbox at work…. To see what I mean by duds… oh, wait that would require you to be at work, nope not you…and why aren’t you at work… cuz you are sick… you got it bad… you ache and feel like crap…

Well your dumb wide ass deserves it, yes it does, if you have not drank so many wine coolers that night, yanking your shirt up to show us your setters instead of pointers, all proud of those low riders…girl, where the hell was your bra that night by the way.???    Seems you were the one who wanted to climb on top of the table and dance the New Years in… and dance you did, till the leg cracked and we caught you on the way down… which reminds me, you owe someone a thank you for being there to break your fall…ouch!!!

If you hadn’t from 11:30 – midnight proceeded to work the room, bouncing up and down, swinging too and fro… going from one person to the other… giving them the option of being flashed or kissed… who would have thought a girl could get so many kisses in one night… not that you should take that as a compliment…. Well there you have it, now you are sick with the New Years Eve flu… from all the closeness with 28 of your newest best friends… who passed along some New Years Eve cheer to you as well… now you are in the hole from missing work and your dignity gone till the Valentine party you throw all the single people including yourself…

Well Sarah’s suggestion for that event is to not invite her and to try the Brown Bottle Flu instead… nice way to start the New Year off….

 

Ciao,

A catty Sarah B just because she can…

Sarahs Back...

Sarahs Back...

 

 

SarahsViews Welcomes 2012…


Bringing good Fairy dust to The New Year...

Hello World…  SarahsViews here… been a while since I have written much…  seems 2011 got the best of me as well as the rest of the world with all the downers and depressions going on…  Lots of misfortunes and sad news came out of 2011…  So I have sent this SarahsView Fairy to you to brush away the negative tone of 2011 and dust you all with “positive” fairy dust and good thoughts going forward into 2012…

We can dust away the bad economy, because it is an election year an miraculously things always improve in January of an election year, so come on all that negative political TV ads to come in March… until then enjoy what is being said to be a turn around economy, after all we all spent our earnings in November and December to give a boost the the consumer index… Sarah isn’t always clueless… she helped as well in that area…

In 2012, we will find many positive changes ahead, it is all in how you look at it, we are seeing less volatility in the real estate sector, seems you can buy a house these days for 49 cents on the dollar, so count your lucky stars if you are a seller and didn’t have to drop to 38 cents on the dollar, those banks will give you houses in 2012 at this rate…

We seen a report that employers are wanting to hire in 2012…   Yes sir they are, why wouldn’t they hire you… you have been out of work so long, they can get you for minimum wage…  who cares if you were making $125K 3 years ago… 3 years ago, you could have sold your house of 300% over the actual value, if you didn’t sell and bank the money then shame on you and take the job and thank the Fairy, as eventually they will pay you a going wage and it beats the alternative…. so yes they will be hiring…

We will see Stocks continue to rise, why not…they are pennies on the dollar as well, so buy em if you can… see good things will happen in 2012, better yet, maybe everything will be 1% interest… nah, this Fairy ain’t that good…

So count your lucky stars you made it through 2011 and are looking down at the daisies and not up at them… 2012 is really a year of positive change and for that to happen it is a matter of how you approach the new year…

So shut up, buck up, step up and keep your chin up and take on 2012 with vigor and a positive approach and you will be fine…

Ciao… Sarah

Sprinkling Fairy Dust Whenever I Can...

Are You Ready…It’s Almost Here…Tick Tock…Tick Tock…


Tick Tock… Tick Tock… Can you feel it???  Can you hear it???   Did you survive the violence of Black Friday???  No cap in your ass, no one stepped over you to get the best bargain as you gasped your last breath at Target???  Were you mugged leaving WalMart at 1 am with your X-box???….If you are reading then then you must be ready to run the other way as fast as you can???  Back to June, May or March???  Anything but the fucking looming “Holiday Season” that over the past few decades have started the “shoving down your throat or up your ass”  a day earlier every year…  This year it started on November 1st… .but the stores were beaming with pride mid October with Holiday decorations… Christmas candy out at the same time as Halloween….

In fact, I am not even sure they waited till midnight on Halloween to start the ads on TV… the relentless, shameless ads promoting that the only way to have a great Holiday or to be a great Parent, Spouse etc… was to “spend…spend and oh yeah baby… spend”!!!   Hell honey, someone’s gotta do it for this upcoming Holiday Season and do their freaking part to save the economy….LOL!!! … Bullshit!!!  Media hype and propaganda telling us… programming us to do what they want us to do… not what we should really do…  Last time I checked… Holidays had nothing to do with spending or shopping…

How many days left?  I can’t remember if we even had Thanks Giving yet or not???  Oh yes we did, while eating a rushed dinner, you scurried out the door leaving your Turkey carcass’s and left over pumpkin pie on the table so you could grab your ads and rush to stand in line for the midnight madness….. Well it seems the stores can’t remember that either…  so don’t feel bad and don’t feel bad about stepping over the man at Target either…

However…as you shop in the grocery store for your goodies… you can sing to “Deck the Halls”  Guess we shall just start by-passing the  Ole Turkey day Holiday and move straight into “Retail Hell”…  Oops, I meant to say Christmas…  Let’s talk Sweetie….You do remember Christmas don’t you…  I mean how can you ever forget???  It is shoved pretty much down our throats and up our asses from October 1st to December 25th… now some stores are even open on Christmas so you can truly feel that you that you will want to shoot yourself for standing in line for 7 hours in the freezing cold to get that what was supposed to be, the rock bottom price, on that item that you have heard non fucking stop about for months and months and that if you didn’t get it for them FOR Christmas morning or the world would come to an end and your guilt would eat you alive…  Dirty Bastards… and your sorry ass fell for it… “Sucker”…

Well, now, if you can wait till December 25th , you can find that item on sale for 25% less or possibly more had you just waited one more day baby…  Shit…that sounds like a great idea… Let’s have Christmas on December 27th…the day after you return everything you didn’t want and the other shit that didn’t sell that is now 75% off… they didn’t like what you gave them???  Too bad… you gotta great deal and they look stunning in Orange with Yellow stripes… oops… I have digressed… Now, back to today’s struggling wonderful economy and what I was talking about… that extra 25% savings  ( or 75% if we veto Christmas till the 27th, that would have paid for the dinner you are fixing for your family to arrive that will only stay long enough to give you the quick hug, kiss, your house looks great, not that they really give a shit… they are only interested in the tree and what is under it with their name on it…  Hello…  Look at all those presents under the tree, they want to know which ones are theirs???   Sure, let’s open now and “then” eat, because we know they all have other places to go to and other gifts to collect.. ungrateful bastards… however it is your own fault… you created the little and not so little monsters… now you must live or deal with them…  Ahh… finally they are gone, the house is totally destroyed, the food devoured and not a morsel for a mouse… the plates left in the sink, of course… the fireplace overflowing with boxes and paper to be burned and the cat is now hiding behind the once beautifully decorated tree,  due to the small children trying to stick a bow on top of his head… vile little creatures that they are… the children, not that cat!!!  The cat, now in retaliation for this event,  shall first cough up a large wet hairball on our pillow  of course then lift his tail and spray all over your tree and of course the string of lights within it’s reach…   Ahhh…the holidays… how soon they approach… Are you ready???   Tick Tock… Tick Tock… sounds kind of like an Alfred Hitchcock event coming up… maybe it is…

May you have your Valium, wine, JD or Vice of choice baby, close by to survive the next 12 miserable  guilt and pressure filled days to please everyone who will not remember the day after…

Ciao baby… Remember it isn’t about You… But what “everyone” expects from You!!!

Sarah B the Grinch

Drunk Monkeys and Fruit Flies…


Oh yeah Baby… that caught your attention didn’t it… I mean really… What on earth do “Drunk Monkeys and Fruit Flies” have in common?  I know you are wondering, questioning, thinking… pondering… fondling… wait that is another blog to be written about later… Oh sugar, let me tell you… they got a whole lot more in common than we could ever imagine…

Sweetie pie… sugar muffin…  lover lips…  gooey bear… or as a friend of my is known to say… gooey duck… Well now, have you gagged yet… I have just typing that shit and it made me wanna hurl…  that is what Sarah likes to call the cooing of a “Drunk Monkey”… I mean really, who the fuck talks that way… let alone when trying to pick up on someone… sitting down starting to have a decent conversation, add a few adult beverages to the table, of course ordered by the monkey itself, well on the way to being a drunk monkey…  It starts off well enough, he is decent looking,  dressed OK, has most of his hair, no ring on his finger…  you zero in on him… thinking, damn girlfriend, this could be your lucky night to score a good one…

The monkey makes his way up to you… you tuck your muffin top down as far as you can beneath the table top… you tug a the 2 sizes v neck shirt you have on to pull the “V” down to show off the girls… ahhh… those girls, what they wouldn’t give for a little action this evening… the monkey spots those girls… the big long wide ass cleavage bigger than an ass crack… how can he resist… he can’t, he staggers over to your table… Belt buckle all big and shiny… his pants so snug you can see the outline of the money clip in his pocket… however you are thinking to yourself…  I hope that is a money clip and not something else… you can’t take your eyes of it as he slowly, ever so slowly due to the few “cocktails” he has already had before spotting your ass crack above below your chin… wait, I am sorry, that is your cleavage and those are your girls… fuck, I will get it right… hard to tell the difference!

Now, you and he are engrossed in an in-depth conversation about the increase in the park rent where his single wide currently sits and him sharing his dream with you of moving it to some land and having some …. uh, what are those things called… oh yeah, some pigs and chickens… OMG… you are thinking, this could be the one, the night you meet the perfect one for you… you have always wanted some of those wild things in your yard for your kids to chase… OMG… better suck that muffin top in some more and now you are just resting the girls on the table, the ass crack is there for him and the rest of the bar to see…. after round 5… the monkey now on his way to being a total drunk ass monkey makes his move and reaches over and swallows your face… you are in heaven…  you let him know you want to see that single wide…  he is happy to obliged…

You both get up and you realize it may be best if you drive… he is a bit wobbly… to your Plymouth Duster you go… the nice orange one with bad breaks… the two of you… climb inside, he begins to wash your whole face with a big ass wet nasty kiss… you get that special tingle… in your little boxaroo… tonight is gonna be your night babycakes… he is telling you… sugar muffin, I am going to bury myself in those girls… you are so excited you can’t put the car in gear fast enough…

You drive to his place, getting lost 2 times because his shots of shitty ass black velvet are kicking in high gear, finally, you reach is tin tee pee, you are so excited… he opens the door and falls out of the car…you race to his side to pick him up, he falls face first in your ass crack… I mean the girls… shit, I can’t tell the difference… this makes you tingle some more… in the trailer you go… you let him lead you to his crushed velvet headboard and bed… you are so excited, you both undress… you toss yourself on the bed and he falls forward onto you… telling you he is gonna give you the … the… he is silent… you ask him…. what lover boy, what are you gonna give me… lover boy…what???  All you hear is snoring… No… No… this can’t be… this was the night, the night you were gonna give it up…the night you were gonna get rid of the fruit flies from that dried up thing… you been saving for the one…  Instead…  you are left with a Drunk Monkey and you still got your fruit flies…

Yowza baby girl… Sarah Says to fork up some cash and paid to get that thing serviced…

Ciao… Sarah B… who ain’t got no fruit flies buzzing around her…

Are we living in a voice challenged world…


Interesting title isn’t it… I mean, I am sure you are trying to decipher what I meant when I wrote that… seriously, do you have any idea what I am talking about… any clue… any concept… here let me help you out and give you a hint… but first in order for me to do that, I need your cell number… Why, you ask so perplexed and dumbfounded… so I can text you of course, I mean really what other way would I communicate with you other than in text???

I remember a few years back standing in the grocery or bank line or any line for that matter, where I was subjected to not only having the line move slow, but to also be forced to endure the endless and mundane cell phone conversation where I was only hearing one side of it… how fucking annoying that was… I mean, really it was as though this person felt so damn important that they had to share the conversation they were having with all of us that stood within 15 feet of them… they spewed on and on about what time they were heading out for the night, what they were buying and made arrangements to meet whomever was on the other end of the phone… while I found this to be so annoying, I also found it to be quite entertaining… so entertaining that I would listen intently to their conversation all while being an overly arrogant person myself, looking them up and down and judging them by either their over paid clothes and tanned faces, while whipping out their orchards credit card to pay for groceries… knowing that to have an orchard card meant they had marginal credit and were living beyond their means and thus the need to over indulge their clothing, tanning and worst of all…the overly informative cell phone conversation in ear range of all they could reach without being obnoxious…

Ahh… I had fun with this group…. I will say that in my life time of owning a cell phone, I have always maintained a rule to not talk on the phone in public unless an emergency or waiting for a call back about what to fucking fix for dinner that night… but my favorite is the older person using the cell phone while shopping pushing their cart into everyone because they are driving one-handed and can’t drive the cart straight… ahh… they were so fun to avoid…  however, things have changed… I no longer am able to find amusement in check out line of any given store… I no longer am given the selfish pleasure of judging those in front of me and imagining what the other person on the other end of the call looks like or is saying…  at least not in regards to their phone conversation, I still will find a way to make fun of them…. things have changed and I have changed… I still maintain my no talking on the cell phone in public unless an emergency and am eternally grateful for caller ID…so I can screen those calls whom feel they are important and I can instead return their calls…with what…you ask…

Oh please, you all know, cuz you all do it now… I will return calls without even listening to voice messages… that is another topic all together and a different blog, that one I will to this group that explains that no one listens to voice messages anymore because we all have caller ID and we know who we want to and not want to talk to at any given time… so that brings me back full circle to what do we do with those voice messages and missed calls…

We fucking text them back…  In a text we can say whatever we want, there is no indication if we are lying, annoyed or just simply busy… a text message is short and to the point… it is an easy way out… as well as a great way to communicate with multiple people at one time… it is the way things have gone… I am as guilty of this as anyone… in fact I am the mother fucking texting queen… I would rather text you than get on the phone with you and take what can or should be a 2 minute conversation and have it turn into a 25 minute conversation about something I didn’t need to talk to you about or need to you or want to or give a shit about…   However, the downside to this is 2 fold… we lose our personal contact and touch in texting and sometimes our delivery can be somewhat dry when not meant to be… however, the true downside of texting in line is that I have lost a source of entertainment… it really isn’t fun watching you text in front of me… and I am equally guilty of using the time in line to text someone to entertain myself while the slowest checker in the world is checking my out… but part of the delay and I am guilty of this is that the person texting will actually hold up the line because they need to finish their text and that takes two hands… when we used our cell phones to talk, we at least had 1 hand free and could make eye contact with the person checking us out… now when we stand in any line, our heads are all down, our thumbs moving like mad and we are content moving slower so we can finish our text conversation… and no one is talking anymore… ahh…the peace a quite at the stores…

So, are you, we and myself living in a voice challenged world… absolutely… and I love it and wouldn’t change it for anything… I want you to text me and I will text you and please don’t call me and I won’t call you… I won’t leave you a voice mail, instead if I have to call you and you do not answer, I will text you and say what I need and that will take care of that… text me baby… text me all you want… if I don’t like what you have to say, all I have to do is delete your text and then delete you…  So… text text baby…

Ciao… Sarah Texting Baby…

Sarah B…

Are You The Kat’s Meow…


Are you the Kat’s Meow…OR are you Something the Kat drug in…  Do you like to get your Kitty scratched or do you prefer to scratch the Kitty and make it purr…  Hopefully when you are scratching the kitty, you aren’t throwing Kitty Litter everywhere and making a mess… A big mess that is left for the rest of us to scoop up and put back together…

I am all in favor of the purr that comes from scratching the Kitty, but I am not in favor of the aftermath that can come when you scratch the Kitty carelessly and selfishly… The aftermath left in the wake of careless scratching can be devastating on so many levels…

We have the emotional baggage that we are left to deal with when we realize our the Kitty has been used for nothing more than someone else’s selfish needs and no thought or care of the person who is emotionally invested in this cat box that you are playing in and the damage that can be caused in the aftermath… That baggage sucks… but maybe not as good as it did when they were getting their Kitty scratched… meow…

The other more troubling affect it the not so fun talk of being “socially” responsible when you allow several to play in your Kitty Box…after all, you never know where the Tom Cat has been before he strayed over your direction attracted by your scent of cum hither and make me purr sound… One hopes you are not being a bit on the sly side and playing with multiple partners at once… This could lead to sharing of lots of things unintended to share… so… always remember they make kitty pan liners… and they should be used all the time if you are going to be an Alley Kat…

So Sarah Says… be a Kitty all you want, go get your Kitty scratched and purr like a bitch in heat… We all do… but be careful of whose you let play in your Kitty Box as you may end up with a lot of kitty litter in places you didn’t intend to and it may just be in your best interest to be spayed as well… Meow…

Ciao Bella,

A Wise Kitty Sarah B…

Whose Reality Are You Living???


Whose reality are you really living???  Is it theirs or is it yours…   Are you doing what they want you to do and or what they expect of you???  Are you being their bitch for the day,, the week and the month… are you getting ready to lower yourself to your knees right this very moment… have your already to strapped on the knee pads and are prepared to do what they want and expect of you and worse yet… assume you will do for them???

Have you sold yourself out to them, given up on who you are and handed over to them the keys to yourself such a long time ago that don’t remember how this came about and now they not only own you but also drive your ass too???  Do they service you regularly to keep you running smooth and efficient so you can be there at their beck ‘n call… Because you after all, you are their bitch…  Do they dangle things in front of you to remind you who owns you when you start to show signs of wanting to break the chains and escape???  Are those carrots in front of your eyes so yummy and nutritious that you stay…  Is it that you can’t imagine being without those carrots and you have long forgotten how to grow your own carrots???

Remember those carrots you once planted for yourself???  The ones you nurtured, cherished and savored nightly as you lay in bed planning your future…  dreaming of your future… planting the seeds you sowed for your future road to happiness… what is stopping you from taking your keys back and driving your own ass, owning your own ass… becoming free and breaking the chains… I bet if you laid down one night and replanted those seeds as you drifted off to sleep… and each night, you continued nurturing those seeds and eventually each night as they begun to sprout up… the carrots of those who think they own you, they would begin to taste bitter and as your continued to nurture your garden and begin to see the root of the carrot break the surface of the ground, their carrot would be full of acid and as you pull that carrot from the ground and brush off the dirt, you will feel the chains fall away from you and then you will feel the keys to yourself placed back in your own hands and at that time, no one would ever own your ass… you would be back in control of your life, passions, dreams and you would no longer have to strap on knee pads ever again…  Unless you want to do it for your own purpose and benefit…

Plant your seeds baby, plant them now… water them, nurture them and take control of your own life… and future…

Ciao Bella…  Sarah B…

Karma is a wonderful thing… Isn’t it???


You know.. sometimes it is just fucking hard to not go through life without running into some truly wonderful people.. you know the type of people I mean… right?  The ones that just make your life hell and miserable and for anyone else that crosses their paths.  It is those individuals that seem to skate by without anyone ever noticing the path of destruction and despair they are causing… The lives they are turning upside down or the innocent victims left in the wake of their path of destruction…  You can see them, you can feel it… you have been tormented by these people before…  They smile their snake like smiles… they pretend to be your friend… They extend themselves to you, openly extend a helping hand…  The whole time, picking and prying… snooping and crushing everything of yours and who you are…   These snakes come in the forms of acquaintances, co workers, god fearing religious, bible thumping followers, family and friends… They lead secret lives of deceit…  There is no real good purpose for these people who purposely set out to cause malice and harm for the mere pleasure of observing the fall out of their game they have set out to play… sitting back and watching the chips fall like a well organized stage of dominoes…

Well, why is it that those individuals seem escape notice of all those around them except by you or I???  Why is it that they can they smile their smile to ones face and that smile wins them over…every time…   What is it about this type of person that allows them to walk amongst us as part of our society, yet, they are truly the bottom dregs of humanity…   I find this to be a very perplexing thought, notion and very disturbing and wonder if they do it to achieve  a position of someone’s they coveted or material thing… or simply for the fun of it…   Do you wonder why no them for what and who they really are? ??   Why can people see this person for the true snake behind those eyes and beautiful smile… this person whose laugh makes your skin crawl…  Meow... Meow...Meow...Meow

As we become older, wiser  we start to realize a wonderful… fucking beautiful thing … All those dumb ass lame pieces of shit… who for years have manipulated, lied, left wakes of destruction in their paths for the sheer fun of it… or personal acheivement…  Well.. this beautiful thing called “Karma” had raised her head and struck each of them down time and time again… We may not see it each time.. but we hear about it each of these events.. asn when we do, we smile deep inside… Please do not feel sorry for these individuals… They have set out on a path of negative reaction and eventually a positive reaction happened… There is a saying,  I wish my name was “Karma”.. but we are not Karma…  they create their own Karma… 

Watch out for those whom have screwed you good.. it may not happen today and it may not happen tomorrow and it isn’t our place to make it happen for them… no matter how badly we want to… because trust me baby, “Karma” will rear her ugly head and slap their lame asses to the ground where they belong… now should you want to stomp on them  when they are down or step over them … only you can decide that…   So… just a little food for thought for those who are not so nice in life..  Karma is watching…  and she will find you sweetie…  Watch your back… after all the rest of us have had to watch ours for years since we met you…

Ciao Bella Sarah B….

 

It’s not what you know… but who you blow Baby!!!


There is an old saying in life… that often more times than not, it isn’t what you know that will get you ahead in life… but who you blow baby…  Ahh… did your mind just creep back down to the gutter when you read that first sentence???  You and I both know that it really never left the gutter…  Simply just reading that peaked your curiosity enough to urge your sleepy little peanut head to perk up…  Not that peanut head silly… that will be a blog for a different day…  that blog may get one or two minutes of my time in the future… or maybe not…   This is about how people feel the need to get ahead in life and work at any expense and absolutely no care to others around them or whom they step on or over to get to what they think is the golden apple… That sweet spot of success that many feel will give them purpose in life…

The worst of these are both men and women whom in business and life… set their sights on a goal and only know “one” way to achieve that goal… to lay down and spread em wide open or hop on and take a ride… those whom do this to achieve what they want are the amongst the most cunning and yet the most stupid around… Yes… you can sleep or blow your way to a new job or a new relationship… but you lack the substance behind it to keep it…  Once the shine wears off your little rosy cheeks… you bring nothing to either the business world or as a partner into a relationship… you have built your world around a house of sugar and spice and eventually the rain will come and melt everything away you have worked so hard with to get, not your brain,  but you chose to use your body to achieve…  However, the road back down is a hard one to swallow… as you must fall past the ones you “blew” over to get what you thought you had to have…  You made no friends getting there, so you have none on your way down… You have made a cold bed and must lie in it…  until you find the next opportunity that it is… and you will because all you know…  is how to “Blow”…

The other group that can be even more annoying, are those whom “Blow” by different means…  They are smart and cunning… and have mastered the art of manipulation on both a business and Blow...Blow... Away Babypersonal level…  They specialize in “Blowing Smoke”… up your ass to get what they want and thing they need and have no regrets or guilt about their actions… in their own little world… You are a tool and a pawn that allows them to reach the next pinnacle of success in their warped minds… These individuals are masters at beings wolves in Sheeps clothing and often it takes years to uncover or clear the “Smoke” they blew to get what they wanted…  But, the smoke does at some point clear away when a strong breeze kicks up and begins to uncover things that have been a bit hazy for those around them for a few years or even decades…  These individuals eventually end up below poverty level, with no family and or friends… yet do not recognize this as they live in a perpetual state of fog from all the years of blowing smoke to get ahead… they can not see clearly and will never accept their accountability for their actions…  They will spend all their days trying to restart the fire to get smoke going again… If you happen to find em and throw water on them… or stay upwind of these individuals…  they are a bad lot…

For the rest of us… it is about hard work, dedication and goals… set your goals far above the “Blowing” level and you will achieve far greater success in life no matter if you have nothing to your name more than these two types above…  in Sarah’s world… blowing is for candles and behind closed doors only…  If you choose to blow your way up baby… it will catch up to up you if you aren’t careful… or even if  you are…  So I want to know if you have had experiences with those who blow or if you doing the blowing… please let me know…

Ciao Bella… Sarah B…

Bag Type DD: OH What A HO HO HO…


Artist Gregory HergertBag Type DD:  OH what a HO HO HO… At least I didn’t say fun bags… But really, do I need to say anything else???  Oh what a Ho… What could I possibly mean by this statement???  HO HO HO… as in  Merry Fucking Christmas???  Or …. do I mean, Ho Ho Ho… as in, Hey Kitten, you better just get yourself on down to the nearest street corner and starting making a few bucks, cuz  sweet cheeks, the Rent is due and the babies need some food on the table!!!  After all we keep hearing we are in a recession or depression…  Right???  How many times have I heard recently that someone could make more money on their knees than siting on that wide spread of an ass behind a desk or pumping gas??? 

Think about it Honey, in every down a depressed economy, the sales of make up go Up…Up… and oh yeah… UP!!!  Do you think it is to make one feel better about themselves???  Seriously, you can’t be that naive…  Are you???  I highly doubt it…  Not only does make up sales go up, but also the sale of precious beloved alcohol goes up…  (I have helped contribute to that one sugar!!! )  I guess for those of you are sheep or want to live in your little four corners of your world and ignore what is going on, then you can assume that one is simply buying “make up” to make themselves feel better and the “alcohol” to take the stress of the day away as they sit and veg out the TV news and media… and pretend while they sit in their chair all made up with no money to go out and sitting by themselves with a glass of wine or a shot of vodka… on the rocks… that everything in the world is perfect and wonderful… NOT!!!

I mean really, do they LOVE their jobs right???  Do they think their spouses don’t cheat and their kids don’t whine all that much…  Really???  Fuck no, that is bullshit baby, that is a life of a dreamer and of someone who is living in a delusional world, a life of unreality or as we used to say… The life of Riley!!!   They are unrealistic to what is really going on…  However, put all that aside and accept the fact that we “must” be realistic to what is really going on in the world and accept the fact that the average person is out there daily, fighting for their share of corner time over the well seasoned working girl, they are busting down the front door of their new pimp daddy so they can get a sign on bonus to pay the rent…  OK.. well, maybe they aren’t actually on a corner pushing the true “first entrepreneur” off, but… they are doing things that they would have never considered themselves capable of doing  a year ago… because in these times, honey… the motto is “by hook or crook”…

In our time right now, they will do things that they once consider to be beneath them… or thought they would never have to do again… because they thought they had finally achieved what they deemed a stable life… Well, Sweet Cheeks… It is time to wake up and work your lame ass, the good ole days are gone and they won’t be returning anytime soon, so we all gotta step it up, step out and put on a bit of extra lip stick or in my case, chap stick… Take a BIG swig from that bottle and get on our own corner and work it baby, work it good and if you need to… then get on your knees and do what it takes to make it work… Don’t be shy!!!  Shyness will get you no where in life and it won’t pay your bills baby…

After all….  Bag Type DD:  OH What A HO HO HO  can mean many different things… Only you can let your imagination take it the right or wrong direction…  My theory is do what or whoever it takes baby to make it and answer only to yourself…

Ciao, Sarah B – Bag Type DD…

 Artist Gregory Hergert

e-Homely.com will take you when e-Harmony won’t…


First off…there is no such thing as an e-Homely.com so don’t get your panties all in a tight little wad because you just read the title… cuz either two things just happened when you read the title… You laughed your little jelly ass right off or… you said… Really???  Where do I sign up???  How much does it cost and this is ONE sight I don’t mind posting a “real picture” of myself on…   Woo Hoo… e-Homely.com baby, here I come!!!  I mean I would post my picture on this site… if it really existed… I am not saying that I am an overly homely person … but I am also not saying I am not a stunning beauty either…  I mean, come on… this is SarahB…

So lets take this a step further… If you have ever sat down and watched the Ads on TV for these websites, you should have noticed that the only people they advertise a happy success stories on these sites are all pretty or adorable???  Both the Men and the Women!!!  My first thought as I am watching this is… WTF???  Why would you put these model looking people on TV commercials for these websites to get the “average” person to get up and walk over to their computer, give up the cash on the credit card???   Hello… I don’t want to burst your bubble little muffin tops… but if you haven’t noticed most of us do not quite look like those women on TV with perfect hair, pretty smiles… perky breasts, asses and all of 25 years old, while it is also apparent that the men have spent half of their days for the past 7 years working out and still have hair???  Why do these people need to join a dating site to hook up???  Did I miss that step in my 20’s and went directly to marriage???  Gasp!!!  No wonder it didn’t work out… it had nothing to do with the fact that I am sarcastic bitch… I wasn’t hooked up with the right mate that matched me to 25 compatible life changing points… to ensure me a life time of  Happy Happy – Joy Joy… Shit…  I could have saved myself some grief, money and of course found my soul mate…boy am I am idiot… not!!!

However… I think there should be a site for real people… we may not need to call it e-Homely.com but maybe something like… Website hook up for the Average Joe and the tag lines can be… Hey, I got a few kids hanging around the house and a few extra pounds on my thighs… but I am still a pretty OK person, who will always be there…  or my hair has moved to my back…but the quantity is still the same and I guarantee you wont’ get cold at night or sleep alone…  There should be a site that is dedicated to real people where  they can actually feel comfortable enough to post not their college pic or the one that they had a good friend take at the perfect angle that gives you the illusion they are 110lbs…which is retarded … but  instead you post pics of you taken within the last 6 months with your kids, exes, dogs, cats etc… ,one that isn’t of just your head, but shows that muffin or in some cases… muffins that are tagging along with you… or the one that show the actual amount of hair you don’t have… like women really give a shit about hair on men…  Instead of being a CEO you can tell the truth and say, I am one broke ass dick cuz I got nailed by my ex in divorce court, I got child support for the next 8 years, my house ain’t much, but it is mine and I work hard at the factory for a living…  It should be real and not fluff… This site should have a “what is your baggage” section and it should be filled out truthfully as we all have baggage… and when they say none… Then the site can automatically redirect them to e-Harmony or Match.com where they can say all the lies they want and look for a 10 when they are barely a 3…  LOL… I bet if there were a real site for real people… it would be number 1 and what I would consider a “cash cow”…  MOO… doesn’t always mean FatAss…It can also mean the sound of cash being stuffed into my bank account…  I need to hurry and start a website!!! 

Ciao Bella… Sarah B… a 5.50… LOL!!!

Check your Ego at the door… Please!!!


Baaaa BaaaaHello….Hello…  Just who the Fuck do you think  you are???  I don’t think you know and I am pretty damn sure none of us want to know either…  What???  I can’t hear you… No, that does not mean say it again, idiot… it simply means “shut the fuck up” !!!  Oh yeah, I said that and better yet babycakes… I said it to you!!!  Yes… you… I know it is hard for you to accept that I would say such a thing to you…  I mean after all… it is You!!!  The one and only you…  “You” are the person who requires us to expand our doorways before you enter… you are the one who requires us to stand beneath the shadow of your greatness, to pause and listen when you speak… to follow you from here and there… like sheep being led around by our noses and empty heads…

Well sweet cheeks… You really aren’t ALL that…  I know, shocking…  How can I say such a thing to YOU???  The infamous you…  I mean, after all…  This is YOU we are talking about… or shall I say, you are talking about!!!  You spend so much time talking about you and what you are and what you do and what you think you are and how wonderful it is to be you and how we should all be so damn grateful to know the “one and only you”!!!  WTF Ever…

Well beautiful… I hate to be the one to make you wake up all sticky in a  wet puddle… but you really aren’t all that… Ohhh, I am sorry… did I piss in you Wheaties???  Did I rain on your parade???  Did I take the wind out of your sails???  Guess what???  Too fucking bad… get over your lame ass… cuz you know what???  The doorways into this world are not about to be widened for the likes of you or your kind to walk through… In fact, the last time I looked there was nothing more special about you than anyone else or myself for that matter… You are not going to get me to bend over back wards for you and no one should bend over backwards for you or worse yet… bend over at all and take it where the sun doesn’t shine baby… because you haven’t got anything that special to make or cause anyone to need or want to do that… I know….Shocking!!!  You simply aren’t that great or unique…  No one will stand beneath your shadow of what you think is greatness as I am fairly certain that shadow is nothing more that a few extra pounds of flesh you are carrying around because you are really an insecure little piece of work that has over indulged themselves on gluttony of the life line of others… Your shadow smells of bad body odor and reeks of the followers that are really sheep you have led to slaughter for your own guiltless pleasure…

Well now you should listen for just a few… maybe you haven’t figured it out yet… but in this house… no one here are sheep and you are not that special… you are simply nothing at all… no different from the rest of us… so no door ways will be widened to allow you through… in fact, at this house baby… you can “check your ego at the door” or take your lame sorry ass down the street where someone with low self-esteem is in need of a God to follow…will eagerly become your next tool pawn in your game…We follow no one here, but ourselves … perhaps you should give it a try… If not… take your God complex outta here and on down the way… baby… go find an alter to build to yourself or shall we say your Ego… there will always be another of like your kind as soon as we get rid of you… as well as those who will want to follow you … as this world is made up of Egos and Sheeps…  too bad and so sad that people feel as though they must be one or the other to fit in…  Oh well… Sarah B doesn’t want to fit in and those who believe in themselves should not as well…

Ciao Bella…  a humble Sarah B…

No sheep here sister!

Hello there… Sarah B here… Got a moment???


Artist Gregory Hergert Hello to all…I am Sarah B and you probably have been receiving my Blogs for a while now as I am coming up on one year of writing them in November…  I find different topics bring different readers and if you are taking the time to read them…  Then you must be as off kilter as I am…  for me to write them… and for you to comment on them… you must get them…  So sad, yet so fun…  I am someone who will actually “write out loud”… what often crosses your mind… Yet you don’t the balls or lack the couth to verbally say it not only out loud, but most times to anyone other than that special person inside your head…  You know who I am talking about… right???  We all got one baby… it is just a matter of if you are willing to admit it and let that special person out… or keep that person on lock down in side your head…

My suggestion is to slowly unlock that person inside your little peanut head…  let them out from time to time and you will find life can be a bit more entertaining and a whole lot more fun!!!  Sarah B likes to let that person out on a daily basis and take em for a walk thru any public place and then will write about those experiences… The world is full of humor… both Dark and Bright… Clean and Gutter… However… the real world is what Sarah B likes to write about… If you feel that you need fluff and buff this is not the “blog” for you… There is no fluff or buff when I talk about someone’s big ole cracker jack ass… And honey… look around and you will see lots of that once you take those damn rose color glasses off and start seeing things for how they really are…  Life isn’t fluff… it is more buff and it is the buff that is a hell of a lot more fun if you just let yourself enjoy it…and laugh about it!!!

I really wanted to take a moment to introduce myself for those of you from Twitter, Facebook and forwards that are starting to see the blog…  It is not a PC Blog… as the fucking word is NOT PC Baby… if you think it is… then you should read further into some of the past blogs that have been written… take a drive to the local Mall, Wal-Mart or even down the local Grocery store and really look around, pull your head outta your ass and your own self-absorbed world and open those ears and eyes baby and enjoy the  freak show of the real world…  you don’t need to turn on the TV for reality TV… it surrounds you and that is fun and it is what makes Sarah B Tick and write…  You… cuz you are part of that world!!!  So, don’t be surprised if at some point in reading one of my blogs… you have to stop and think… Hey… WTF…  I did that today… was that little bitch hanging over my shoulder and writing about me???  Perfect me???  Damn her… LOL… that is half the fun… learning to except that you are NO different than the rest of us and the real world… I just put it out there for the rest of us to laugh you for it!!!  After all, I am Sarah B… So please take a few minutes and share some your thoughts and I will write about it and it will be fun and you may or may not like the spin… but one thing is for sure… Someone will and someone will be sitting back laughing their fucking asses off secretly admitting to themselves…that they do that same thing or have done it..  

So, now you know just a tiny bit about this Blog… just enough to peak your interest… However… what I really want is to hear about your day!!!  Everyone is interesting and has something fun to share…  My job is to put it out there… So share…

Ciao

Sarah B

The Sarah B Crew

Freezing the Dusk


Source: Freezing the Dusk

Monday was a Trio…. plus Thursday’s walk schedule…


Monday was a Trio…. plus Thursday’s walk schedule….

Thursday’s dry but windy walking route


Thursday’s dry but windy walking route.

Splish Splashing away we went today


Splish Splashing away we went today.

Kick off day… why why why is it raining???


Kick off day… why why why is it raining???.


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